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Original poster

DH caught masterbating

310 replies

Alexa007 · 29/12/2013 20:22

I know most ppl on this board are going to say this is no big deal but I walked in on my DH wanking in the shower today. Door was open I walked in to put some stuff away.

Naive maybe but we have talked about this before and he's always maintained he never does it and doesn't need to as we have sex regularly. We have been married 3 years, together 7 and have a dc aged nearly 1.

So now firstly I feel like he has been lying to me all this time. Fine if when we'd talked about it he said he'd always done it etc. but now I keep thinking back to times when he's been off taking super long in the shower....

Also, we have just come back from holiday together, if he was feeling horny why didn't he just get me, our lo was sleeping at the time.

I feel hurt.

OP posts:
ExitPursuedByAChristmasGrinch · 29/12/2013 20:45

But he lied.

FFS

ShatnersBassoon · 29/12/2013 20:45

So you have asked him, many times and recently, if he wanks? That would probably make me nervous to tell the truth, because I'd think the person asking had an issue with it. I'd probably lie, and keep locking the door when I shower.

Perhaps it was his first go anyway Grin.

WarmFuzzyFuture · 29/12/2013 20:47

Do you think that because he has you, your DH should not masturbate?

His body, his choice.

pictish · 29/12/2013 20:48

You know what? I agree actually - what a stupid fucking thing to lie about. Such a pointless waste of a lie.
It would make me wonder what other nonsense I'd been spoonfed.

MadameDefarge · 29/12/2013 20:49

well maybe he lied the first time she asked, as it was all a bit romantic, or difficult, and then never found the way to tell her.

Maybe he only does it very very occasionally, and in his mind this means never...

maybe he has ishoos with it..

Have a good, non confrontational chat about it.

ExitPursuedByAChristmasGrinch · 29/12/2013 20:50

Why would you ask?

neiljames77 · 29/12/2013 20:51

Mrs neiljames77 doesn't like the idea of me bashing one off. If I stay up later than her, she assumes I'm at it. You may have caught him by accident but at least you're not like my DW, who's hobby is to go around the house like creeping Jesus in the hope of catching me in the act. It's no big deal. If I caught DW, it wouldn't bother me in the least.
He only lied because he was embarrassed to admit it. (god knows why)

FiscalCliffRocksThisTown · 29/12/2013 20:51

You're all nuts.

Men masturbate. Women do too.

It is not instead of sex.

Chill out, it is normal behaviour. It is not a rejection of you.

cafecito · 29/12/2013 20:52

it's almost as if you are jealous of his hand Confused he probably lied because you overreact and take things personally

scottishmummy · 29/12/2013 20:52

He probably lied to get some peace as opposed to being quizzed about masturbation
Tbh,being quizzed about mastrubation will of course elicit a no I don't darling
Don't be so prissy or prying demanding to know,then upset he lied

MadameDefarge · 29/12/2013 20:53

I would be pretty pissed off if my partner made me feel so embarressed about it I would lie.

MadameDefarge · 29/12/2013 20:53

Actually, that wouldn't ever happen.

hmm.

MadameDefarge · 29/12/2013 20:54

I mean the lying.

We all own our own sexuality, we share it with our partners. Its not their's to dictate to about it.

MadameDefarge · 29/12/2013 20:54

The idea that any adult man does not masturbate is frankly bizarre. Or any grown woman, if she feels the urge.

waltermittymissus · 29/12/2013 20:55

I don't get this.

Why would you even have to have a conversation about whether or not he masturbates?!

I think you need to get over yourself a little. Sorry.

neil I'm lolling at your creeping Jesus wife! Grin

zippey · 29/12/2013 20:56

Why should a person have to sdmit that they masterbate. It's like saying yes I do eat food.

Sex lives are usually private and a lot of people feel awkward and embarrassed to talk about it.

Master bating is normal. As is lying. People lie.

MadameDefarge · 29/12/2013 20:56

welcome neil.

hugoagogo · 29/12/2013 20:58

How is your dh? Was he very embarrassed?

BunnyLebowski · 29/12/2013 20:59

Madame I have a 31 year old (catholic) cousin who told me drunkenly a few years ago that she had never ever ever masturbated. When pushed she said it was embarrassing and God might be watching her Hmm Grin .

She also has never orgasmed through sex and freely said she only has sex to keep her man happy and doesn't enjoy it.

The two things are completely connected. You can't expect someone else to satisfy you if you don't know how it all works Confused .

MyMILisfromHELL · 29/12/2013 20:59

I masturbate. What a shock. So fucking what?

WorrySighWorrySigh · 29/12/2013 20:59

Why did you walk in on him in the bathroom? That for me is the weird bit and very intrusive.

DownstairsMixUp · 29/12/2013 20:59

Why are you pissed off he lied? Ignore the people ignoring what you are saying. I get your annoyed at the lying, not the wanking, why do you think he would lie to you?

When me and DP go through healthy patches of sex, I know he doesn't, but if it's not that great, maybe only twice a week, I know he does, he tells me, and sometimes I'll tell him if I have if his been asleep when i've wanted it etc, for most, it's just a normal part of a relationship. You can't always time when you want sex at the same time, or always be there when you fancy it. Just the way it is.

neiljames77 · 29/12/2013 21:00

MadameDefarge, why are you welcoming me? Me doing that wasn't part of some initiation ceremony was it?

MyMILisfromHELL · 29/12/2013 21:00

And I luffs it, btw Grin

ExitPursuedByAChristmasGrinch · 29/12/2013 21:01

Our bathroom is open season.