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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Off On A Journey Far & Wide, Full Of Support, With No Reasons To Hide.

999 replies

Mouseface · 23/06/2013 23:19

Hey, I'm Mouse, one of the Brave Babes on this Bus. :)

We're heading to sobriety, in various different ways, in our own different ways, some of us are there, some not quite yet.

We're a group of non judgemental, mothers, wives, partners, sisters, daughters, girlfriends, and of course all of the male equivalents that run alongside those 'tags', but most of all, we are, or we have been, just like YOU. :) Real people with real concerns about how much we are drinking all of the time.

Our relationships with alcohol are varied, and you'll find most of us are wanting to do something about it..... desperate to stop the cycle of drinking, stopping, drinking, stopping, drinking more, stopping for shorter periods of time and then the reverse, doing ever so well and then 'something' happens and you're back to square one, a place that sometimes gets a little crowded, one little square filled with lots of people who all want out.

Sound familiar?

You're never alone here. Ever.

Come and take a seat, post or lurk. We won't bite but we WILL look after you, SUPPORT you, if you want us to. :)

And for those want to know how we've ended up where we are today, about three years on from THIS THREAD RIGHT HERE

To our last thread JUST HERE

It will be lovely to meet you so why not take a seat and have a gossip about all things booze related but also, DCs, husbands, wives, in-laws, out-laws, and everything in between.

There's always a seat for YOU xxx

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mrsdrew · 25/06/2013 18:39

Hi Pink, yes it was me that did things I'm pretty disgusted with on Friday. Not for the first time but haven't had a really 'bad night' for a while. I guess that's my problem, things are ok for a few weeks and I think 'oh It's fine, I just like a drink that's all' then I get out of control again. Admire all you babes here and will support where I can! X

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ImaHexGirl · 25/06/2013 18:42

Sorry Mouse .

I've been a tad self-absorbed since I came on here I know. Will take some time to get to know everyone.

Mouse, is your DS starting reception in September? I don't know the full back story but it seems to be something that is far more terrifying for us parents than the DC's. We're nearing the end of reception now and I can't believe it has gone so quickly. I think I needed more help in settling in than DS! (apologises profusely of there is more to it all that I haven't caught up on yet ).

On a plus note, I managed to get a doctors appointment for tomorrow morning. Must be karma as I didn't think that I'd get one when I really wanted it. Plan is to talk to Dr about going back on anti-d's and/ or the pill to control my mood swings and constant thinking about everything. It isn't anxiety I think but just constant re-hashing/ worrying/ obsessing about stuff to the point of distraction. I need to be able to regain my focus and am struggling with that.

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Pink01 · 25/06/2013 18:54

Rural don't do it! Have you got a book you could snuggle into bed with to distract yourself? Or a hot bath. I'm not trying to make it sound easy because I know it really isn't! I have 'popped out for milk' enough times myself ahem!

Mouse earlier this year I stopped for about 60 days, then I started again (stupid stupid me) and it has been on and off since then. I got on the bus maybe a month or so ago and then have been sometimes in the side car......on the plus side I am drinking a lot less than I did and have done 5/6 days without but I always lapse and then it is always too much, I can't seem to just have a couple.

I feel I need to stop altogether for my own health and also because I feel and am so much better when I don't drink....it is a no brainer.....but somehow it is never that easy......

Babyjane it's a great thread isn't it and really focused my mind when I read it the other morning.

Sorry if I have missed anyone out

Pink x

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Pink01 · 25/06/2013 18:58

And sorry, yes Mouse, I am ok thank you. I know I can do this again I am just angry with myself for starting again in the first place. I am frightened of one day not being able to be dry if that makes sense. When do we cross the line into proper full blown addiction? My dad died from alcoholism (not pretty) and I do sometimes wonder, when did he cross that line? He certainly never made it back sadly.

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ImaHexGirl · 25/06/2013 19:05

Pink I can so relate to you about the worry about crossing the line. My mum is very much heading the way of your dad and I am terrified of becoming her. I know she has had a difficult life at times but the issues with alcohol continued even in the good times.

I like to think that the fact we admit we are scared and consider ourselves to have an issue means a lot. At some point we will be able to garner the strength to finally blow a raspberry at the ww. I know for a fact my mum would never admit to having a drink problem even though I have tried to broach it with her in the past.

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ruralreynard · 25/06/2013 19:06

stella hope you are ok tonight.
realised haven't seen my old friends koti saf and soma since i started posting again, hope you are ok babes.
ima good news about docs appointment your anxiety or not anxiety sounds a lot like mine. I worry and re hash everything constantly from my cr*p marriage to the state of the economy and all points in between Confused
mouse hope all is well with you and your family and so grateful for all your support on the thread and through pm's Thanks

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lonnika · 25/06/2013 20:14

Pink and hex - keep on keeping on - I read in the Allen Carr that everyone who drinks alcohol will become addicted ar some point. I think whilst you are worried about it and trying to do something about it - you will be ok.

Rural - hope you ok :) Just checked whats on TV and nothing on - so going to have a bath :)

Mouse - sorry about old thread.
MrsDrew welcome !

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greeneyed · 25/06/2013 20:36

Having just spent a week with my alcoholic parents just being on this board, worrying about it and talking about it is a big step in the right direction. In their sixties they still minimise, deny and lie (even to themselves) about the effect of alcohol in their lives, They cannot face the truth of it at all because they do not want to change. Easier to pretend it is all okay. They talk about other people being alcoholics (you know the proper ones who drink spirits all day Confused) without even sensing a hint of irony. (drinking wine and beer from lunch time everyday is okay innit if your not pissing yourself or supping from a brown paper bag in the park)

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ImaHexGirl · 25/06/2013 20:38

Ionnika, I agree with what you say. I've got the Allen Carr book and it makes so much sense. I've yet to finish it but it does hit home.

Day 1 has ended in failure in respect of the wine consumption but I have today made an appointment for the doctor and the solicitor and also made it clear with H that I'm not going to allow the current situation to continue. I know that is opening myself up to a lot of life changes but I think it needs to happen.

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ThisIsMyTime · 25/06/2013 20:50

I back as drinking is even more out of control to the point that I'm worrying about money don't seem to care when drunk and spend willy nilly making stupid decisions ie pay day loan can't see a way out if this mess. On a more positive not success at day 1

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greeneyed · 25/06/2013 20:51

Anyone who is worried they are drinking at dependent levels might find this website helpful it has some really good and detailed questionnaires to assess your level of dependency - written by hospital liver unit very no nonsense and honest not scaremongering at 14 units but will tell you what's going on at 30 plus //www.drinksafely.info/DrinkingAdvice/

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greeneyed · 25/06/2013 20:59

This Welcome back well you know it can't go on like this. There will be a way out but you won't find it at the bottom of a bottle - it just won't seem to matter for a bit but then it will be worse and so the cycle goes on. But you know that anyway. Time to break it - one day at a time for now my lovely. Don't think about day 3 or day 4 just today and start every day afresh xx

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babyjane1 · 25/06/2013 21:05

pink and obrigada thanks for pointing me to the thread, this is the only thread I use so I'm not sure of my way about. *p

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babyjane1 · 25/06/2013 21:08

pink your right, very good facts to remember, now that I have pretty much stopped (for now ODAAT) I need to keep remembering why, drunken antics and hangovers are a bit like childbirth, you soon forget so reinforcing the good bits keeps me strong x x x

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Mouseface · 25/06/2013 21:22

Just off to CSI watching with DH but Hex - yes, he starts in Sept. Will tell you more tomorrow. He has Complex SN and we have many battles on many days.

Thank you all for your posts, will come back tomorrow once Nemo is in preschool xxx

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dementedma · 25/06/2013 22:24

Goodness, too many people to name check but accepts gold star from mouse for being good about the new thread.
Good to see you green. Did you know my favourite opal fruits are green.
pssssst, I know where we can get some.....
ladame and indie could you move your curly haired large arse selves out of my sidecar please? There isn't room to swing a cat in here - or a squid. Where is he by the way?
hex - you haven't put your foot in it at all bit mouse's little boy has lots of special needs so she worries a lot about him going to big school. We know him as nemo aka fish boy and we are his honorary aunties. As if he didnt have enough to cope with Grin
sweetie don't worry so much! You really sorry far too much about things. Why not come over here and sit with me awhile.......

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greeneyed · 25/06/2013 22:32

Ma you sound in wicked spirits tonight :) I'm definitely up for some green opal fruits (also my favourite) if you know a reliable source!

Just scared myself reading that website again. Wish I could send it to my parents but that would be like opening pandoras box! DM prefers to get her health advice from the daily mail - where drinking wine (by the bucket load) is good for you, don't you know :)

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greeneyed · 25/06/2013 22:42

Night night babes day one done xx

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dementedma · 25/06/2013 22:49

Well done green
Yeah, I know where there's a stash. They are pretty well guarded but I think there is a way to ..mumble, mumble...and them we can..mutter, whisper...
What do you think?

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greeneyed · 25/06/2013 23:01

Lets do it ma

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CrabbyBigBottom · 25/06/2013 23:40

That's a very sobering link Green, but interesting. I'm pretty happy with how much I'm drinking now, but I think I'd still be classed as a moderate to heavy drinker. Blush

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Mouseface · 26/06/2013 00:58

Just very quickly but Dame thank you SO much for suggestion to get a Chillow. WOW! I love it!! Thank you!

Night. From a very happy Mouse

Xxx

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Ladame · 26/06/2013 08:47

Walks out of house, clip clop, clip clop, (((SPLASH))), swim, pant, swim swim. Heaves self out into the UK, clip clop to the Mouse house, (((Hugs))) Mouse and says sorry for going on the new thread too soon, clip clop, clip clop back, (((SPLASH))), swim, pant, swim swim, heaves self out into France, clip clop back to house. [Grin].
Good morning all babes from the side-car - stares defiantly at Ma and flings now uncontrollable sea-frizzed hair about and re-settle now very chilly big backside next to Isinde who appears to be asleep clutching large piece of (non-vegan) cheese.
Not being a good Ladame at the moment so am a bit Blush Will be better when house free of the rellies and my fridge doesn't look like the booze aisle in Tescos!!!
Very many triggers in the sunshine, I know, I think it is the hardest time to resist the WW (not that I am much at the moment ahem)
Sorry not to namecheck, but can hear the crunch of gravel and the arrival of the rellies for breakfast ... OOerr!
Mouse Chillows ROCK, don't they Wink

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obrigada · 26/06/2013 10:50

Morning babes, still alcohol free here, weighed in last night (last time I weighed was about a month ago) and despite the fact that I have put on a pound it seems I have lost 6lb in body fat and put on 7lb in muscle!

I think the 6lb loss in body fat is due to not drinking:)

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OfficialSweetieMonitor · 26/06/2013 11:11

ma thank you, yes I do worry too much, you're right - maybe I should just sit here and have a little snooze...



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