The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Off On A Journey Far & Wide, Full Of Support, With No Reasons To Hide.

[Mouseface]

Hey, I'm Mouse, one of the Brave Babes on this Bus. :)

We're heading to sobriety, in various different ways, in our own different ways, some of us are there, some not quite yet.

We're a group of non judgemental, mothers, wives, partners, sisters, daughters, girlfriends, and of course all of the male equivalents that run alongside those 'tags', but most of all, we are, or we have been, just like YOU. :) Real people with real concerns about how much we are drinking all of the time.

Our relationships with alcohol are varied, and you'll find most of us are wanting to do something about it..... desperate to stop the cycle of drinking, stopping, drinking, stopping, drinking more, stopping for shorter periods of time and then the reverse, doing ever so well and then 'something' happens and you're back to square one, a place that sometimes gets a little crowded, one little square filled with lots of people who all want out.

Sound familiar?

You're never alone here. Ever.

Come and take a seat, post or lurk. We won't bite but we WILL look after you, SUPPORT you, if you want us to. :)

And for those want to know how we've ended up where we are today, about three years on from THIS THREAD RIGHT HERE

To our last thread JUST HERE

It will be lovely to meet you so why not take a seat and have a gossip about all things booze related but also, DCs, husbands, wives, in-laws, out-laws, and everything in between.

There's always a seat for YOU xxx

[babyjane1]

Morning all, I'm still alcohol free but to be honest I've hit a real low, as most of you know, I went to the doctor to seek
Help with my bottle of wine a night habit and it has triggered a chain if events that are causing me real stress and anxiety, first a visit with mental health team, than alcohol svs team, then a house visit from social work visit , tomorrow a visit from alcohol svs and to top
It all a letter yesterday saying I need to attend a panel meeting on mondy with the social work department to discuss my dd's welfare. I AM A GOOD MOTHER. Every professional i have came across has assured me I was sound as a pound and they were just ticking the boxes and it seems to have grown arms and legs, I havent
Touched a drop for nearly a month and my depression and anxiety has all but left me but yesterday having received the letter, I feel completely betrayed and my dh and dm can't believe it, I'm so anxious I could cry!!!! Sorry me me me x x x

[greeneyed]

WTF baby, I'm so sorry you have all this shit to deal with. I would be ensuring the GP knows this whole chain of events. I do however truly believe it will be okay. You are a good mum and the fact you sought help in the first place speaks volumes. Can you go back to the GP to discuss your anxiety and managing it in a way that doesn't involve reaching for the bottle xx

[PurpleWolfe]

That's bloody awful, Baby! This sort of 'knock-on' effect is the very thing that will put/has put people off going for help in the first place - and that can't be right! Totally agree with Green, you'll be fine, you've been responsible and are a caring and good Mum but I'm so cross for you and send you a huge hug. x

Just popped on briefly. Will write more later.

[Ladame]

Baby Just couldn't read and run. So sorry that they are putting you through this, talk about overkill ffs. ((Hug)).

[Mouseface]

Afternoon, tis me and all that..............

BABY!!!!!!!!!!!! - I am appalled to see your post! I can't believe how you've been treated. Right from the bloody start you were made to feel like the stereotypical tramp on a park bench, made to feel a failure, made to feel like you were fucking EVERYTHING UP and quite frankly, knowing you as I do from reading your posts, that is all a load of bollocks.

I'm livid that you are having to attend this panel meeting. I sometimes wonder if these professionals actually know what it's like forcing people who are seeking real, honest to goodness help, desperate to stop drinking, anxious, scared and worried about the whole damned situation realise what they are doing by making you go through so many hoops, just to get support.

Support. Seven letters.

And yet it carries so much weight, it means so much to you Baby, to us as well. All you wanted was some real life help and support to stop drinking the way you were, stay stopped, learn new coping mechanisms, how to try and keep your anxiety suppressed until you feel in a position to deal with it.....

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I wonder what it is that they are trying to achieve by making you attend this meeting on Monday.

I'm not surprised that you feel betrayed! After all that you have done. I only hope that all they are doing is looking to talk to you about how far you've come in a month, how you feel about your drinking, how you feel about NOT DRINKING. I hope that they are going to talk to you, not at you, about how they can help going forward.

Please don't let this letter undo all of your hard work and dedication. I agree that you should try to get an appt with your GP to explain that you anxiety levels have risen, take the letter with you and see what they say?

Maybe, just maybe this is standard practice for someone who has been seeking help. Maybe, just maybe, they are meeting with you to see what else they can do to help you longer term??

I'm sorry you're scared and upset it all. xxx

[ruralreynard]

baby Just so bldy angry as dame said total overkill, insensitive doesn't really describe it, more like crass stupidity.
One of the reasons I don't go to my GP is the fear of this sort of thing.
Know from experience that some of these professional do gooders can be very good but some are the opposite and its a bl**dy lottery which you get.
Having said that really think you will be fine. Just do what is asked and also keep up the not drinking and they will see what a good mother you are and leave you alone.
Ive worked in one of the areas mentioned and know this to be true.
If any of these people are unfair and misjudge anything or get it wrong go back to your GP pronto, he is the one who knows your family not these other SO CALLED PROFESSIONALS and he is in a position to help put things right.
Try not to worry, big hugsxx

[ruralreynard]

Sorry cross posted with mouse just had to say what I was thinking.
mouse includes all the things I forgot and says it all so much better,
Well said mousexx

[OfficialSweetieMonitor]

babyj what a horrible way to make you feel, after all the hard work you've put in. The only thing I can say is it's not you - they probably have to follow some stupid guideline about following up everybody after a month or so. Once they have seen that you are managing, they will leave you alone because they just don't have time to check up on everyone. If they give you any hassle, refer them to your GP.

But yes, furious at the lack of support you have been given.

[obrigada]

Echo what the others have said Baby, absolutely furious on your behalf at how you are being treated.

[Edinbugger]

baby - another babe here furious at what is happening to you. Absolutely ridiculous.

[Mouseface]

Baby - I imagine that what YOU did, a month ago, walking into a room, a place and saying out loud for the very first time that YOU no longer enjoyed the way YOU consumed alcohol..... they way that YOU felt, YOU behaved, YOU saw yourself when you were drinking out of control and far too much.

The 'System' as I see it, has so far, failed to listen to, hear and respond in an appropriate manner to your cries for help and as others have said, what sort of example does that set for those who are in your shoes a month ago?

I think that you are amazing. I think your strength has taken you this far. I think you are brave, growing, learning and by doing those things, by sharing your sometimes terrifying (to you on a 'fear of the unknown' level) and personal experiences, you have helped me, others and yourself.

You rock lady :) xxx

[babyjane1]

Thanks to all if you, I'm trying to turn the negative on its head and think maybe it's a good thing these newer tighter systems are in place, the publicity surrounding these poor kids in recent years that fell through the gaps and died horribly has caused a massive shake up and I have experienced the agencies and there new rigorous procedures. I know I've nothing to fear, even at my worst I was hurting myself never the girls. I hope that these days I'm just a better version of myself and hope that shows on Monday. Thankfully I live in a nice home, have a nice car and wonderful parents BUT I can't help thinking this overbearing sequence of events could be catastrophic to a younger, less supported, less fortunate mum, it really worries me how a vulnerable mum may take all this to heart and the possible consequences!!!!!!!! Thanks my lovely friends, what did I do before this thread???? Xxx

[guggenheim]

Hey baby,

I'm appalled on your behalf but admire the way you are stepping back and thinking clearly. They are box ticking rather than using a shred of common sense. I have no doubt that you're a great mum and your girl's are proud of you. It really is just form filling in your case.

I know why they take this ott approach, because alcohol and drugs can effect parenting but on the other hand this ott approach WILL stop women from contacting services to get help because they might be treated like this!

Right, back off to lurking land,ranting as I go....

Love to you all xxxx

[ruralreynard]

Big wave to guggs nice to see you are still posting
Well day 2 for me and the ww is driving me mad again.
As on day 1 the house is an alcohol free zone.
Having a massive wibble though and picking up and putting down the car keys every few minutes, think i need tying to the chair or something.
oh got to dash, Control freak on the war path requiring toilet roll and clean pants!!
catch you later babes.

[guggenheim]

rural , have got everything crossed for you and sorry to hear how hard life has been for you recently.Perhaps the loo roll could be used to wrap control freak up like a large Egyptian Mummy?

Gah! crazy toddler has arrived in lap..must go

[greeneyed]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! And breath...
That's better, 4 year olds drive you nuts! WW is laughing and offering to pour me a glass. You can feck off as well you miserable old cow. Right where's Barry? Anyone mind if I slap him? rural stick with me x

[Pink01]

Very quickly on to say I will stick with ignoring the WW too, Rural well done for yesterday. Keep going Rural!

Really difficult day today but somehow I am here with pink lemonade in a wine glass.

No idea how I have resisted but I have, thank goodness.

Be back on later to reply properly to everyone

Pink x

[OfficialSweetieMonitor]

babyj you sound very clear headed, thank goodness, and guggs is right - it is just box ticking. And, as you say, a good thing if it helps save the life of an abused child - but not very helpful for YOU. Can your mum be with you during the meeting?



Had the WW this evening, as I am just so bored at home with a child who is alternately too ill to talk, and stuffing her face with chocolate

[greeneyed]

Day 2 fail. No reason just coz it's there I think. Alcohol sweep tomorrow

[Ladame]

I am AGAIN a bottle down with the rellies. I don't feel like I'm a good example to anyone at the moment. I'm going 'off thread' until I can come back with some positives. Night night all babes xxx

[lonnika]

Baby - shocked, disgusted, appalled - gobsmacked - Just remember you are not a good mum you are a flaming fantastic one. One who cared so much about her own health that she took the major decision of going to docs to get HELP!!!! You are amazing - keep your head held high. There are so many mothers who drink as much as you did but who currently for whatever reason don't see it as a problem xxx As I said before you are amazing and what's more amazing is the fact that through all this stress you have kicked the WW to the kerb xxxxx

rural - keep going day 3 tomorrow :)))))))).

Me - I am very stressed with work BUT still it drinking - over 8 weeks now :))

love you all xxxxx

[dementedma]

baby stay strong. You are doing brilliantly.
guggs good to see you and you too purps
green its going to have to be plan B to get those darned opal fruits off sweetie.

[ruralreynard]

green pink thanks for the support. I am sticking with it.
WW still driving me up the wall but have taken refuge in the bedroom and will not give in to her.
sweetie still think of you as joey tho. stick with it too. don't give in.
Going to get a hot drink and try for an early night.
Night all xx