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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Off On A Journey Far & Wide, Full Of Support, With No Reasons To Hide.

999 replies

Mouseface · 23/06/2013 23:19

Hey, I'm Mouse, one of the Brave Babes on this Bus. :)

We're heading to sobriety, in various different ways, in our own different ways, some of us are there, some not quite yet.

We're a group of non judgemental, mothers, wives, partners, sisters, daughters, girlfriends, and of course all of the male equivalents that run alongside those 'tags', but most of all, we are, or we have been, just like YOU. :) Real people with real concerns about how much we are drinking all of the time.

Our relationships with alcohol are varied, and you'll find most of us are wanting to do something about it..... desperate to stop the cycle of drinking, stopping, drinking, stopping, drinking more, stopping for shorter periods of time and then the reverse, doing ever so well and then 'something' happens and you're back to square one, a place that sometimes gets a little crowded, one little square filled with lots of people who all want out.

Sound familiar?

You're never alone here. Ever.

Come and take a seat, post or lurk. We won't bite but we WILL look after you, SUPPORT you, if you want us to. :)

And for those want to know how we've ended up where we are today, about three years on from THIS THREAD RIGHT HERE

To our last thread JUST HERE

It will be lovely to meet you so why not take a seat and have a gossip about all things booze related but also, DCs, husbands, wives, in-laws, out-laws, and everything in between.

There's always a seat for YOU xxx

OP posts:
Pink01 · 26/06/2013 21:43

Evening again!

Rural well done, I am off to bed with a book soon myself. I do love an early night when sober as I feel so rested in the morning!

Babyjane I feel so upset for you and angry, you have done the right thing and are being sort of punished for it. Like other posters have said hold your head up high, I am sure all they want to see is that you are caring properly for your children - you are - let them see that - job done. What horrendous stress for you though. Really the last thing you need at any time. What sh*t the WW can cause us!

Green I saw your post from last night so sorry to hear both of your parents are like this, one was bad enough. It must be so upsetting Hmm but if they won't admit a problem then little can be done really. Do they crash out early in the evenings? I know I would/have if I started drinking at lunch time!

Lonnika well done 8 weeks is amazing (jealous!)

Mouse hope you are OK.

Hello to all other babes, sorry I am still learning names but hope you are all well.

I am gobsmacked I am sober tonight, had difficult day at work and planned all day to drink Sad but somehow I have managed to abstain and now day 3 done. I do feel afraid that I will crack at some point though.

I have an occasion on Sunday so considering doing the questionnaire Green linked to on Saturday night to focus my mind as I don't think it will be very pretty reading my results.

Sorry for the long post

Pink x

Mouseface · 26/06/2013 22:30

DAME - STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!! Please? I need you or at least stay PMing me because I need some meno advice. And you are getting me through it, lots. Hope you're okay sweetheart xxx

Ma - are you okay? :)

Baby - not worth it. Agree with Ma - stay strong xxx

Guggs - great to see you here lovely.

Nemo and his poorly ear, afuckingain, is in my bed, DH is relegated to his bed and we have a house guest tomorrow. Deep joy! DH is playing golf and then going out for a meal with him and I'm here, with the children, one is ill, one is HORMENTAL to the max........

I've given him some med so he'll hopefully sleep okay.

Rural - big hugs to you, keep going and going xxx

Lonni - you're ace xxx

IsinDe - good luck with the DTs and sleep xxx

Sorry not to NC everyone but I hope you are all okay. xxx

Night night everyone, hope you all stay safe and sound. Be back tomorrow, lots on, tomorrow and Friday but I want to be here to support you all. You are all great.

Right, hot choc is ready, Chillow is chilled and I am ready for nodsville. xxx

OP posts:
Mouseface · 26/06/2013 22:33

Pink - NO PROJECTING!!! Park it til nearer the time. :)

We will worry about Sunday on Sunday okay? I have to go now but keep going sweets, you're doing great. So many Babes are. Stop worrying about cracking, start thinking about how well you did today NOT drinking!! NOT DRINKING!

READ THOSE WORDS - NOT DRINKING TODAY.

Night all xxx

OP posts:
dementedma · 26/06/2013 23:00

mouse just had to say .....looked at your profile and your dd is the image of you! When did she get all grown up and gorgeous?
Ds is full of puberty hormentals. The little boy and the pre-teen are at war. Refused to go to bed on time, being arsy with attitude, has his allowance docked, stormed out slamming the door, refused to do teeth and PJs...mister well hard. Said mister well hard is fast asleep on his bed now, fully clothed, tear streaked and clutching be any tiger in one large grubby hand. Poor baby!

dementedma · 26/06/2013 23:01

Beany tiger lol

Thruthenever · 27/06/2013 08:49

Hello ladies. I have lurked around these threads for some time now and after years of living in denial, I have realised that I do have a problem with alcohol and I can't beat the wine witch on my own.

I used to believe that the WW was my friend, giving me confidence, making me witty and popular, making me more intelligent. In reality it has led me to staying in a previous abusive relationship for far longer than needed. This in turn made me seek the comforting oblivion of drunkeness, that made every slap, punch, kick or cruel word softer.

Fast forward a few years later and although I have a fantastic DP, 2 lovely kids, a great job and nice home, the WW still has a firm grip on me.

I am so tired of feeling shame and regret, of pretending I have everything under control, of looking in the mirror and knowing that what you see is a front, inside I am screaming.

The support is there for me, I just need to swallow my pride and accept it. Yesterday I did not drink, I called AA. Just talking to someone who has been in the same boat as me has been a huge weight off my shoulders. Being an alcoholic is the lonliest thing in the world.

Today I will not drink.

OfficialSweetieMonitor · 27/06/2013 09:47

welcome thru sorry no advice, not in a good place for me at the moment, but some wise person will be along soon with advice and support

Thruthenever · 27/06/2013 10:02

Thank you OSM. I hope you get through this soon, it's nice to know I'm not the only one at the moment.

OfficialSweetieMonitor · 27/06/2013 13:33

hmm, looks like we are the only ones today, everyone else is off enjoying the sunshine Sad

ImaHexGirl · 27/06/2013 13:37

LaDame, please stay. From what I can see it's better to stay on the thread and keep talking it through. Everyone has been so lovely to me here and the thought of being able to post on here day after day regardless of how the day has been is so reassuring, the bus is becoming like my comfort blanket Grin.

Thru welcome to the bus - there's space at the back if you fancy joining me. OSM has the sweeties but I've got a covert supply of Percy Pigs too.

Mouse Sorry for blundering in blindly the other day. Nemo sounds lovely and very cute. I am in awe at how you juggle everything in RL and keep the momentum up on this thread.

On the plus side for me, I managed Day 1 yesterday. Had a good cleaning/ tidying session at home and it was lovely to collapse into clean fresh bed having had a long hot shower feeling clean and refreshed. Slept like a log and could have slept longer this morning so looking forward to being able to do that come the weekend if DS. I'm also looking forward to getting home to an orderly house and pootling around until bedtime this evening. Fingers crossed nothing triggers me to reach out for a glass of wine......

ImaHexGirl · 27/06/2013 13:39

I'm here!

OSM sounds as if you have a lot going on at the moment but you've been fantastic to me so far. Just being there even if you don't have any words of wisdom means a lot. Here if you need a virtual shoulder to lean on.

dementedma · 27/06/2013 14:02

no sunshine here in Scotland today!
thru you are very welcome here
sweetie wassup?

guggenheim · 27/06/2013 14:26

'Lo there all,

Hope you are all well and sober. I won't hope you are all sane 'cos I know there's no hope there.

Dame please keep posting.x

thru one of the reasons I don't post often is because I'm an AA babe and I don't want to keep banging on about it here, I know it's not the right way for everyone. But I can honestly say that It's changed my life. I'm 6 months sober now and I'm doing really well. I was very scared when I first went to AA because I thought that I would be made to do /say things I'm uncomfortable with. Actually, you just sit and talk through all your problems with drink and life, nothing worse.

Wish you the best and if you want to pm -go ahead.

Lots of love everyone xxx- keep eating the sweeties x

ferfuxake · 27/06/2013 14:43

Hi. I'm very new here too thru but just wanted to say welcome as well as congratulations for ringing AA - something I don't have the guts for at the moment.

I've had a bit of a weird week. After resolving to cut out alcohol 5 days a week starting on monday and to sign up for an online hypnotherapy course I felt a burst of optimism and positive thinking. I managed not to drink for the first two days, then the WW caught up with me over the next couple of days but I did at least manage to have just two small drinks - clearly not ideal, but a lot less than usual. Today I have listened to my first hypnotherapy thingy. I didn't fall asleep and I think I remember most of it (it basically repeated many times that I was going to DRINK LESS ALCOHOL and feel good about it!!) but I did find it oddly relaxing and am now feeling much more upbeat.

Now I just have to see how I get on over the remainder of the week - I always find it harder as the weekend approaches. Will I DRINK LESS ALCOHOL or will I revert to type and pour as much as I can down my throat?

Sorry if I sound flippant. I don't mean to - I have actually been really down about what a struggle this is and I know I have to take control of the situation. I'm sure many would tell me I need to stop altogether but that still feels a step too far for me at the moment.

Thinking of you all and especially Baby. You are doing so brilliantly and I cannot believe this won't be recognised by the professionals on your case at the moment.

OfficialSweetieMonitor · 27/06/2013 14:44

thanks babes

My DD has been ill the last few days, but today I had to come into work and send her to school. I feel so guilty, she's not well but there isn't anyone to look after her and I'm sure my work don't even care or appreciate that I'm here (although they'd soon notice if I wasn't Sad )

Thruthenever · 27/06/2013 14:48

Hex Ma Hi and thanks for the welcome

Guggenheim My first meeting is tonight so I will see how it goes. At the moment anything is better than sitting here, feeling sorry for myself and itching to 'pop out for milk'.

Think I had best blitz the bedrooms before the urge gets too much.

OfficialSweetieMonitor · 27/06/2013 16:36

I've just been to Sainsbury's TWICE (managed to forget the very thing I went for the first time Blush ) in the pouring rain and came away without any alcohol! I want a badge!

Fairenuff · 27/06/2013 17:02

< pins 'I went to market and I bought no alcohol' badge on Sweetie >

Fairenuff · 27/06/2013 17:09

Being an alcoholic is the lonliest thing in the world

Welcome to the bus Thru. When I first started trying to cut down on alcohol I was appalled to find that I couldn't do it. And I was scared. I thought I was going to be stuck like that forever.

I wanted the problem to just go away. I wanted it fixed like I would go to the dentist to fix a broken tooth or a mechanic to fix a broken car. It dawned on my that I was the only one who could fix it. No-one else could do it for me and if I didn't change it, it would stay like that forever.

I was really, really scared. I was scared of the thought of living without alcohol and I was scared of the idea of being dependant on it. I wanted someone else to sort it out for me I didn't want to have to face this alone.

Then I joined the bus. You are never alone on the bus and you will get all the good advice, help and support you need to face this. This bus gives us tools. It's up to us how we use them.

OfficialSweetieMonitor · 27/06/2013 17:28

Thank you faire I will pin that next to my 'Official Sweetie Monitor' badge Grin

thurso13 · 27/06/2013 17:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jango36 · 27/06/2013 19:17

Hi babes:))
well yesterday was day 12 and Im annoyed to say I did fall off the wagon :( only had a few units, but still !
So in theory today is day 1.
I do think that those days were well worth it though all positive.
Hope all babes are well sorry not to name check! I will nc tomorrow.
So, so busy here what with work and kids, housework bla bla bla..
Am remembering clearly where I have put things round the house and exactly what I ve watched on tv :).
Plan for tonight is yummy food, lovely deep bath and finishing off a fab book.
Stay strong babes xxx

thurso13 · 27/06/2013 19:33

Oops, sorry, my friends,
I have tried to get my post deleted, too needy, but, it hasn't happened yet!
Sorry
T xxx

Pink01 · 27/06/2013 19:36

No Thurso, don't so that! It is not at all - well, if it is then so are all of my posts!

What job do you do in the school? I work in a school, too Smile

Don't go, tell us more about it but I am sure you will be fine. Change is always scary but good too. X

thurso13 · 27/06/2013 19:51

Thank you Pink, just had bit of a meltdown!
xxxx Thank you so much xx