The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Off On A Journey Far & Wide, Full Of Support, With No Reasons To Hide.

[Mouseface]

Hey, I'm Mouse, one of the Brave Babes on this Bus. :)

We're heading to sobriety, in various different ways, in our own different ways, some of us are there, some not quite yet.

We're a group of non judgemental, mothers, wives, partners, sisters, daughters, girlfriends, and of course all of the male equivalents that run alongside those 'tags', but most of all, we are, or we have been, just like YOU. :) Real people with real concerns about how much we are drinking all of the time.

Our relationships with alcohol are varied, and you'll find most of us are wanting to do something about it..... desperate to stop the cycle of drinking, stopping, drinking, stopping, drinking more, stopping for shorter periods of time and then the reverse, doing ever so well and then 'something' happens and you're back to square one, a place that sometimes gets a little crowded, one little square filled with lots of people who all want out.

Sound familiar?

You're never alone here. Ever.

Come and take a seat, post or lurk. We won't bite but we WILL look after you, SUPPORT you, if you want us to. :)

And for those want to know how we've ended up where we are today, about three years on from THIS THREAD RIGHT HERE

To our last thread JUST HERE

It will be lovely to meet you so why not take a seat and have a gossip about all things booze related but also, DCs, husbands, wives, in-laws, out-laws, and everything in between.

There's always a seat for YOU xxx

Sorry, been getting the kids settled!

You're welcome Thurso, I think it's hard when you share vulnerabilities that you are maybe hiding in normal life, you can get all panicky and wonder if you have said too much/not enough/the wrong thing.

Seems to me the most important thing is just to post, however you are doing or feeling. But I can only say that with confidence cos I have lurked for so long I have picked it up!

Mouse thank you for your words last night, you are right I will face Sunday when it comes. I know I can enjoy myself without alcohol so I should just do that! And not over think it! (If only!)

Day 4 here so feeling much less anxious and sleeping so restfully, it's great.

Welcome to all new people sorry I don't have your names, hope to get to know you all,

Pink x

Thurso ask yourself if you don't do it now, will you ever? How would you feel moving after 15 years? 20?

You've been contacted by an ex-colleague who know's your capabilities so must believe you can do it. Go for it :)

Aw Thurso, if you want to see a rant, have a look at mine last week. It sounds as if you've got a lot to think about but if you've got the qualifications then you are a professional, definitely not a fraud. I bet you are fabulous at your job because your qualifications have been gained alongside true hands on experience.

OSM, I hope your DD starts to feel better soon. It is so hard juggling school and work and everything else.

Day 2 nearly over. Watching some trashy TV and looking forward to bed.

Night all x

thurso this is just what you need.a new chance, a new opportunity offered by someone who believes in you. Bloody go for it. You can do this. Well done you.

DD is better, thanks, and should be okay for school tomorrow. I just worry that my work think I'm taking the piss, or I'm too soft on her. I really shouldn't care what they think but I do (and they pay my wages...)

thurso do you trust your friends judgement? Would she have suggested the job the job if she didn't think you could do it?

thurso this is just what you need.a new chance, a new opportunity offered by someone who believes in you. Bloody go for it. You can do this. Well done you.

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Pink - Come Sunday - erm........ 3 days away, WE, yes WE, shall worry about your 'event' then okay? I promise you that the Babes holding your hand will help. Knowing that I'm in your pocket, Ma is in your purse (looking for Opal Fruits) and that Faire is holding your hand, is all you need.

Just to know that in some way, we'll be there with you, next to you, knowing how you feel, how every fibre of your being feels at that very moment in your life, is enough. Keep the Bus Ticket that you have in your hand close and we'll never fail you. xxx

DH has been playing golf in the rain today and has now gone off into the nearest town for dinner. I'm hoping that the place they go to is nice as one day, one day I will be taken to said restaurant for dinner.

Nemo is in bed, his ears are hurting, he hit a child at school to protect his pal...... one kid hit his pal so Nemo defended his pal and hit said kid so that he knew not to touch Nemo's pal again!

Anywho - all is well in the Mouse house. I feel sick soI'm off to bed. DD is asleep, I feel very wobbly and I think it's the drugs....

Night all xxx

Hi super babes, just a quick shout out to you all for all your verocious and passionate support re all these mind baffling assessments, I feel very important indeed to have such loyalty from you all (puffs bosom out with pride) just a wee shout out to dame stay close girlfriend, we need the bus when things are good or bad, we need each other. pink take each day as it comes, you have done yourself the world if good reducing as much as you have, a wee wibbly wobble is nothing, keep perspective your doing great. Hi ima hope your doing ok anything that helps bash that wine bitch is worth a go. thru welcome to our lovely bus, you will find great friends and endless comfort on here so stck around, ferf a big hi to you, hope your doing ok and thurso being practically head hunted means your awesome (like we didnt know that already), mouse You are a queen, ma your always so kind and purple show yourself!!! I'm sorry I know I've forgotten people but my wee iPhone only lets me see so far back so sending BIG LOVE to every babe reading this, this thread rocks!!!!!xxxx

thurso go for it! I bet that part of your fear (and maybe part of your frustration in your current job) is that YOU also remember what/who you were when you started. Well you're not that same person now - you got years of experience, you got qualifications, you've studied, you've balanced work and study, you've balanced work and family commitments..... I'm sure I could go on.

So look at who you are NOW. Well isn't that lovely and amazing and guess what? That is also how your new colleagues will see you from the start. They don't know you as a nervous mother starting out, or as an apprehensive learner, or even as a teenager - those memories are in your head. Your new colleagues will see you as a strong, lovely, confident, articulate, qualified, experienced, valued member of their team. xx

Hi all,

I have been lurking for a while and found you all very inspiring. Whilst my drinking is not totally out of control it is way beyond where I am happy, I am mid-20s so my drinking is 'excused' to some extent by my partying friends but I don't want to excuse it anymore. One wine turns into several wines and a few gins :( I'm not sure if I want to give up entirely or cut down drastically but I would welcome advice. When I mention it to friends/family they just sort of laugh it off and say have another drink but I know deep down that my relationship with alcohol is not healthy or making me happy. I hate feeling like I 'need' a drink, or drinking until I'm really out of control, to be totally honest I've started having the odd beer or two on my own during the day and I don't like it. I don't know where to start but I would really appreciate your help.

Thanks for your help, A x

Welcome another and well done for being brave and posting. You're right, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, if you are unhappy with your drinking then it's up to you to change. Why do they want you to continue I wonder...?

venus great post to thurso I was nodding emphatically as I read it. .mouse your posts are so eloquent , sometimes I feel I'm in the room with you, I think you should write a book!!!Ianother welcome to our gang, how often, how much are you drinking, does it impact your day to day life? Tell us more about yourself and these lovely babes wil help you squillions x x x

Morning Babes. Did you wake up this morning without a hangover, and feeling thankful that you didn't drink yesterday, did you feel more rested and more alert, did you feel ready to face another day - whatever it brings? Or did you wake up feeling heavy and groggy, maybe depressed and headachey, maybe a bit sick or in need of sugar, salt and liquids. Did you feel pissed off that you'd had just a little too much last night - again?

Well actually it doesn't matter what you answer to the questions. We are all here this morning in exactly the same place with exactly the same choice we can make. TODAY, Friday 28th June 2013, I choose not to drink. Anyone want to stick with me today?

venus I was one of the second group, fell off the bus yesterday on day 3. I will stick with you today. Today I WILL NOT DRINK.
Thru welcome, you will find lots of encouragement and support on here.
sweetie glad your daughter is better. Hope you are in a better place today.
thurso agree with what all others have said. "go for it"
Big wave to new babe another if your drinking is a problem to you that reason enough to go for change. This bus is a good place to start.
Well DAY 1 again it is. The ww is not going to beat me today.
Love to allxx

Hello everyone, am lurking far more than I post but gaining huge inspiration and comfort from what I read here. My question is: are there any amongst you who were binge-drinkers who managed to control their drinking rather than cut it out completely? I have a feeling the lovely Mouse has achieved this. How did you manage it?

I've been able to stop drinking for quite long periods but ALWAYS relapse and am honestly thinking I'd be better off accepting that I'll never give up completely instead of setting myself up for failure every time.

MrsM I've managed to cut down, by only having in the house a maximum I can drink at one time. I've also stopped drinking outside of the house (where it is out of my control)

I do sometimes think I should quit completely, because even though my drinking is now well within guidelines, I still think about it a lot...

Morning all, waves enthusiastically to rural, venus and sweetie mrs m I think most of us in here like to imagine that one day soon we can moderate and enjoy wine for the social softener it should be not the self soother it has become. I can't bear to imagine I will never drink again but to look beyond one day at a time makes it all so huge a change to contemplate, I only 1 thing for sure, TODAY I WILL NOT DRINK
X x x

Hello again, thank you all for the kind welcome!

I drink 4-5 days a week, any day off I have is normally because I am so sick from the night before I can barely drag myself out of bed let alone face another drink. I've had the option to go part-time temporarily which I have but I just waste my days off having a 'few beers' at lunch time. On my worst days I drink a bottle of wine plus a few gins or a few beers and then wake up the next day hating myself. I cannot have a glass of wine, I recognise that now, I will just keep going until the bottle is empty and then some :(

It hasn't ruined my life yet in that I hide it quite well and I don't ever drink at work etc but I am heading a bad direction. It certainly does stop me feeling fresh/exercising as much as I should, organising all those things on my to do list which have been lingering....

MrsM I think it's interesting that you use the phrase "control your drinking".

I pretty much don't drink at all these days. On the very rare occasions that I have, I find that it is still a big struggle to "control" it (and then to control myself in the next couple of days when I just want to go back to my old ways).

I used to say that my aim was to drink 'normally' (whatever that means). But I guess that I'm imagining that drinking normally would mean that I had no strong desire for a drink, or that if I did I could easily forget about it, and that I would enjoy a 'couple' of drinks on a special occasion. I imagine that drinking normally would be acting like my dsis who can have a glass of wine and then leave the bottle in the fridge for a week until it eventually gets thrown out or used or cooking. I imagine that drinking normally would be like my friends who can enjoy a glass of wine with lunch then follow it immediately with a cup of tea.

Yet, in my heart of hearts I knew (and proved) that that kind of normal drinking neither applied to me nor appealed to me. I never wanted a glass of wine, I just wanted to start with that. Wine with lunch signaled a boozy afternoon. And the times when drinking seemed limited to a couple of glasses left me craving more and going around drinking out of other people's half empty glasses or bringing my own hidden source of extra drink.

I'm not suggesting that you are anything like me. Just recounting my own experience. I can easily say that it is so much easier for me not to drink at all than it is to try and control what I drink. But you will also see that I still struggle with the idea that I might never drink again, and even after all this time the idea still frightens me. So my phrase is that I don't really drink these days..... it leaves me feeling right about my day-to-day and week-to-week decisions about not drinking, yet doesn't leave me feeling boxed into a corner that I don't really want to be in.

Spot on venus that's it exactly

joey / sweetie I completely understand your approach - buying only the little amounts of wine - it is your way of exerting control. I am not sure I could even do that. I was always more likely to but a bottle of wine and then 2 little ones - just to make sure I always had some more

But truly and honestly it is easier just to not do it.

It is hard and sometimes I wonder if it's worth it (especially when I'm dithering in the aisle because they haven't got the mini bottles)

Just not ready to take that last step! I will say though, that deciding not to drink when visiting the in-laws has been a great decision for me. And a couple of weeks ago I also made a promise not to drink during daytime even if we go out for a meal.

So I'm kind of allowing myself those couple of glasses on a Saturday night, in exchange for keeping to those rules.

It's bloody hard though! I look at DH who will just have one beer and wish I could do that.

Really good posts venus and sweetie (still joey in my mind, old habits die hard. EG drinking)

I find if the house is alcohol free I manage without somehow. Could have something to do with the nearest offie being 10miles away and it closes at 7pm. After that only the supermarket which is 17miles away
If alcohol is in the house, whatever my intentions i find an excuse to drink it. It makes me angry with myself, i start off thinking I can control it and so won't drink it tonight, The WW ALWAYS PROVES ME WRONG.
OK Fess up time I was really determined not to drink today but there was a glass of wine left in the bottle from yesterday. Drank it an hour ago and now craving more badly. What a fool I am .

Hi all, I still have ocassions when I crave alcohol - but I know that I will feel great in the morning if I don't drink - that is keeping me going x. It is still hard but I do feel great (mostly). - I definately perform better at work without a shadow of a doubt -- I am less anxious by miles - I think I look better and I have lost weight !

I can honestly say there are no negatives about not drinking and in reality I don't know what I am craving so I try to keep focused on that !!!

Found out that I'm on my own tonight, DCs gone for sleepover and DH out on the town. It's just me and the dog

So the first thing I did was head straight to Sainsburys and buy a (small) bottle of wine. This is the deal in my head, I can have it tonight and remain sober tomorrow night instead.

Ah just so nice to have some peace, me and the dog and an Agatha Christie.

Sorry if reading this is a trigger for anyone. I just wanted to get it in writing that I will not drink tomorrow. Scouts honour.