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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Off On A Journey Far & Wide, Full Of Support, With No Reasons To Hide.

999 replies

Mouseface · 23/06/2013 23:19

Hey, I'm Mouse, one of the Brave Babes on this Bus. :)

We're heading to sobriety, in various different ways, in our own different ways, some of us are there, some not quite yet.

We're a group of non judgemental, mothers, wives, partners, sisters, daughters, girlfriends, and of course all of the male equivalents that run alongside those 'tags', but most of all, we are, or we have been, just like YOU. :) Real people with real concerns about how much we are drinking all of the time.

Our relationships with alcohol are varied, and you'll find most of us are wanting to do something about it..... desperate to stop the cycle of drinking, stopping, drinking, stopping, drinking more, stopping for shorter periods of time and then the reverse, doing ever so well and then 'something' happens and you're back to square one, a place that sometimes gets a little crowded, one little square filled with lots of people who all want out.

Sound familiar?

You're never alone here. Ever.

Come and take a seat, post or lurk. We won't bite but we WILL look after you, SUPPORT you, if you want us to. :)

And for those want to know how we've ended up where we are today, about three years on from THIS THREAD RIGHT HERE

To our last thread JUST HERE

It will be lovely to meet you so why not take a seat and have a gossip about all things booze related but also, DCs, husbands, wives, in-laws, out-laws, and everything in between.

There's always a seat for YOU xxx

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ThisIsMyTime · 05/08/2013 18:21

Come on ladies we are all strong and powerful ladies we can be who we want to be and do what we want to do if we put our minds to it! None of us are going to be the slave to alcohol or anxiety because we are great and if we believe this we can do amything. We ARE winning this battle xxx

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babyjane1 · 05/08/2013 19:18

this love the attitude girlfriend x x x

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Pawprint · 05/08/2013 19:42

Just checking in - congrats to babes who are AF.

I'm not doing great and am cross with myself Confused

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Anneisnotmyname · 05/08/2013 20:14

Well my plan to have anything but wine lasted for all of ten minutes! ! I let dh go to the bar and he got us a bottle of wine. I've had exactly one sixth of it but im annoyed as I didn't want it, didn't enjoy it but made myself finish the glass. So stupid

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PervyMuskrat · 05/08/2013 21:12

Just checking in to offer a hand squeeze and/or a manly slap on the back for those struggling at the minute. Loving the attitude too Thisis

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jango36 · 05/08/2013 21:17

Ladies hi ..
am mightily pissed of here!
I actually am begining to think that I woulD EASILY be ale to do without alcohol if I didnt have to live with a total MAN CHILD!!!.
God to think I actually thought something of this guy!!
What is it they say "Marry in haste, repent at leisure!!" that is me.
He is begining to make my skin crawl!
At stage now when cant be in the same room!
Not good!
aaaahhhhhhhhhhh!! just needed to vent !

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Anneisnotmyname · 05/08/2013 21:54

Jango I'm new to the bus but I know all to well about living with a man child. I don't have any helpful advice but wanted to say you are not alone x

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Mouseface · 05/08/2013 22:05

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Jango - are you okay sweetie? Are you safe? Or just in a bad mood with each other? I'm here but just typing up the new thread..... are you able to get out for a walk so you can be without each other for a while?

Annie - WHY? What triggers your 'FUCK IT'? That's what this is lovely, this is you going 'FUCK IT! Grrrrrrrrr' and getting so cross with yourself, what's really up lovely? Do you know of something that's upsetting you or bugging you? You need to stop the self destruct if it's making you feel so unhappy and cross with yourself. Sad

How are you Pervy? How's the not drinking going? :)

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chippit · 05/08/2013 22:15

Hello everyone,
I hope you don't mind if I join you. I've been lurking around the outside of your bus for a while, but today is the day that I step on. I have been a binge drinker all of my life and one of life's 'party animals'. Smart, successful, funny, reasonably attractive...all of that. But everyone who knows me would describe me as a 'big drinker'. Even typing that makes me want to punch my own face in, but it's true.
Last Sunday I went out at 2pm and came home at 1am.
This Saturday, I went out at 7pm and came home at 6am on Sunday morning. 2 hours later, my DH got out of bed and took my 2 year old DD to a flower show, while I lay in bed unable to breathe because my hangover was so crippling.
Throughout my entire life, alcohol has been my best friend but also my worst enemy. I become a person I detest when I've had too much and self repulsion normally features quite highly (infidelity, bed wetting, manipulative arguments, depression, anger, poor me).
I've had enough. My DH is my biggest fan and right behind me. My DD is so adorable I sometimes want wrap her around me and just walk to the ends of the earth holding her. I feel terrified that I'm going to mess it all up BUT I have NO idea who I am without alcohol.
I don't drink every day - in fact I can get through an entire week without a drop - but once I start I don't want to stop and I'm so scared that I'll need to become a tee totaller because it feels so alien to me.
I understand where it all comes from - my parents are both big binge drinkers and I suffered a pretty abusive child hood (beatings and screaming matches). I'm clever - I get it - I see the path / pattern...what a cliche. I have booked an appointment with a counsellor this Friday to try and work it all through. It's a long hard road but I'm ready for it and I suppose I'm looking for your help, ladies (and gents).
I have one burning question. Do you think I need to completely stop?
Forever?
I'm going on a lovely holiday to a villa in 4 weeks time so have resolved to completely abstain until then. And by GOD I'm going to do it. But the thought of being on that holiday without even a G&T at sunset makes me incredibly sad that this is who I may now need to be.
Thanks for listening. Apologies for the ramble. x

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Mouseface · 05/08/2013 22:27

Hey Chippit - I'm just setting up the new thread as we're so close to the end of this one but grab a seat, a Mocktail and here's your ticket. :)

Be back in a mo with the link to the new thread, PLEASE FILL THIS ONE UP BEFORE SHIFTING ACROSS SO NOBABE GETS LEFT BEHIND!

Thank you :) xxx

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chippit · 05/08/2013 22:33

Hello Mouseface - thanks for replying. I am brand spanking new to this, so I wouldn't know how to shift across anyway! XXX

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lonnika · 05/08/2013 22:35

Hi Chippit - welcome and well done for posting :)
I can't answer the whole abstaining for life question - lots of ladies on here have been able to control their alcohol intake and can drink safely and sensibly so it can be done.

However, I know that I am an all or nothing girl and when I think honestly about my past drinking I know I only drank to get tipsy (pi@@ed) - I am not even sure now if I actually liked the taste that much or just the feeling it gave for me. Therefore I have chosen to abstain - At first a terrifying thought but now I can honestly say I love being totally AF -

Good luck on your journey (How American does that sound !!!) -

Woop Woop to the start of a new thread - see you all over ther
Hey Pink you haven't let me down - hope you are ok lovely :)

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Mouseface · 05/08/2013 22:41

So - HERE IS THE NEW THREAD you norty lot that pinch seats on the new thread early, stay here for now!! Grin Grin Grin

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Mouseface · 05/08/2013 22:43

Lonni - can I just say that it's good to have your success story on this Bus xxx

Night all, see you tomorrow with a brand new, pixie style haircut as I've kinda grown it over the last few months! Time to get me back!! Grin

Sleep well xxx

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lonnika · 05/08/2013 22:47

Thanks Mouse - I sometimes wonder if I get on people's nerves always talking about myself. if it wasn't for the bus and the lovely ladies on it I def would not have been this successful.

Haircut time for me tomorrow as well - :).

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chippit · 05/08/2013 22:48

Thanks lonnika.
I don't even know WHAT i like about alcohol anymore. It's been such a big part of my life that it's become second nature - taste / effect / after effect...
However the thought of not having a glass of red with a steak or a glass of champagne at a wedding just because I don't know when to stop makes me feel very very ashamed of myself. But who knows - maybe I'll be AF for the next 4 weeks and totally love it, lose 15 stone and land a Victoria's Secrets contract.
Thanks for listening. I already feel a bit less like a loser.
Goodnight. xxx

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dementedma · 05/08/2013 22:58

Hi chip and welcome. When this thread is full move over to the new thread provided by mouse and we will get to know you better

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lonnika · 05/08/2013 23:00

Lol - You are nt a loser - or if you are there are an awful lot of us.
Sometimes changing your thought process hols - the steak will still taste as good - maybe better :).

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greeneyed · 05/08/2013 23:26

Evening babes and welcome chippit sorry paw, pink and everyone else struggling with the witch. Tomorrow is a new day. A good day for day one if you ask me. Once that's under your belt your confidence and swishyness will come back. mouse i used to love my pixie hair then i got too old and fat for it and have grown it. Maybe if I achieve my fitness goals I'll have it all cut off again. X

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thurso13 · 06/08/2013 08:35

Morning everyone Smile

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thurso13 · 06/08/2013 08:35

Bright and sunny here this morning.

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thurso13 · 06/08/2013 08:35

Thank you for doing the new thread Mouse sweetpea.

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thurso13 · 06/08/2013 08:36

Don't want anyone

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thurso13 · 06/08/2013 08:36

to be left behind!
xxxxx

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