New man. Personal grooming question.

[MyPhoneIsMyWorld]

Namechanged for this one.

I'm in my late thirties, met a new bloke, haven't done the deed yet.

So, the question I need to ask is what do men like these days with regard to pubes. I was married for 14 years and basically just kept things trimmed down there.
Don't want to end up in bed with this guy and have him turned off by my possibly 'retro' style!

I'm happy to keep up with the times but don't want to go all out bald down there if it's not necessary.

Any tips?

Luckypeach, have you had oral on you with no pubes? it feels so much better.
My pubes are not silky and I love the feel of it shaved. It deffinitelly does not look prepubescent because the skin is completly different!
Just asked DP and he said he prefers it tidy not totally shaved, because it feels nicer. But he has never ever asked me to do it.
My ex did ask before I did it regularly, I am sure because of the porn influence, and we just did it as another erotic game, just fun.

This is the thread that makes me embrace post divorce perma singlehood. The mere idea of having to worry about whether a new man would mind pubic hair. The idea of anyone minding pubic hair. And cock shots!

I don't get it. Here it is. You are going to have oral sex. You are going to have someone's genitalia in your mouth and you mind hair. I can just about understand people who don't like oral sex at all (I think they are missing out) but not liking it but objecting to hair. That I don't get. My mother would have called it eating the cow and choking on the tail.

And it's no good posting how you feel cleaner and you prefer and DH prefers... I've read all that. It's just the reasoning makes no sense to me. Pee comes out of this part of the body. It's centimetres away from the bit where poo comes out. And you mind a hair or two.

'Where are all these places that make you get on all fours to have it all off? Bizarre. I lived in SE Asia, it is definitely the done thing to have everything off there. Never heard of anyone assuming doggy position for it. confused'

This is what has to happen if you want to get every single hair out, apparently!

'I think it looks grim on a grown woman. Especially as you age and after childbirth when no-one's labia are tightly closed anymore. When you look at yourself naked, can't you see your innards?'

It looks fine on me - mine is still closed after 3 normal deliveries(would not normally say that but to make the point we are not all the same!) But in any case, what does it matter when only you and your dh sees it?

'And it's no good posting how you feel cleaner and you prefer and DH prefers... I've read all that. It's just the reasoning makes no sense to me. Pee comes out of this part of the body. It's centimetres away from the bit where poo comes out. And you mind a hair or two.'

See, when threads like this come up it never fails to annoy me that there are posters telling other people how they are allowed to feel. What gives you the right? It's a personal thing. If you like it do it, if you don't, don't. Why the judging? I expect there are other aspects of our private lives that we all feel differently about.

I'm not telling anyone to feel anything. I'm saying I don't understand the feelings.

Anyway, I don't think feelings don't exist in a social vacuum. That's why these threads are interesting. Because clearly, at some point in the last however many years, waxing became mainstream. I refuse to believe that 50 years ago, people always felt that there was something wrong with pubic hair and never quite realised what it was. There has been a shift in people's minds. Some people think that shift was caused by the proliferation of internet porn.

Not necessarily - my dp who is Italian says women don't tend to wax there in Italy. So is it the case that Italians don't watch porn? I doubt it...

I'm bi & i really like neat, natural pubes on men & women. even more of a turn-on in women. bald fanjos leave me cold. literally & metaphorically.

Anyway I don't think there is anything 'wrong' with pubic hair either, I just prefer not to have it. Although I accept that I may not have done it in the first place if it wasn't so fashionable. I genuinely prefer the look and feel without hair though.

You see, even the fact that your dp knows such a fact about Italian women shows how open (?) everything has become. To someone of my age and slightly reserved temperament, that is an extraordinary fact to know.

Why would it be 'open' to discuss such a thing with your partner?

My dp, being Italian himself knows more about the culture in Italy than I do.

Open to know such a thing about Italian women in general. The idea of fashion in public hairs. I know that it makes sense to you. But, to me, these threads are like listening to another language. Different styles of public hair.

Hah. The truth is in the tyu7po. Pubic hair has become public. And I don't know why. I think the porn theory is probably correct.

Brazilians have been around for much longer than the Hollywood though. People wax their legs and underarms too and have for years. But some don't. I don't think every fashion has to do with porn. Various fashions also come and go, for example eyebrow shape and thickness. I don't see that this is any different and as I said, it's not popular in all countries anyway.

my dp who is Italian says women don't tend to wax there in Italy. So is it the case that Italians don't watch porn? I doubt it...

Actually, I recently turned a group of (adult) students puce by bringing up the fluffy bits v baldy bits age divide when we went put for a drink and I got gobby on one sniff of the barmaid's apron. The under 25s , maybe up to the under 30s here in Italy appear to be mainly whipping it all off too.

I think they have to. Not long ago their jeans were that blimming low cut that there is a risk of builder's bum at the front. Especially amoung the under 20s.

My age group, not so much. My ever so scientific tipsey survey revealed they lean towards a proper 70s bush with sideburns removal as needed.

Well, we are early 30s.

....It's even got the same names too.

Sugarwax in Milano

Ceretta Brasiliana, o Brasilian Wax, è la depilazione professionale con cera a caldo all'inguine.
In Sugarwax potete scegliere tra differenti stili e forme di depilazione intima. (differnet styles of whipping off of fluffy bits available as choices)

In particolare per le donne : (for women)

Hollywood Bikini: vengono rimossi tutti i peli della zona inguine (whip it all off)

Brasilian Bikini: vengono rimossi tutti i peli della zona inguine esclusa una striscia sottile centrale o un piccolo triangolo (landing strip)

Bikini Modellato: nello speciale bikini modellato si effettua nella zona inguine una speciale forma (come il cuore, la stella ecc.) (special shapes, like hearts etc.)

Per gli uomini (for men) si distinguono Perizoma Comune e Perizoma Hollywood a seconda che si effettui la parziale o totale depilazione intima. (whipping all theirs off too....ick! baldy willy and balls?)

And there are loads of places offering this, so somebody is having it done.

What about fake tanning? Is the trend to look orange based on porn as well?

Well, we are early 30s.

I think there is a real age divide over this.

The youngsters almost got quite cross eyed about the idea of not whippingnit oof. Whereas the less youngsters ranged from "if I feel like it sometimes" to waving placards about "Save The Bush".

I am considering cornrows for mine. With beads and everything.

I think that generally, all beauty services have increased in the last 10 years. I'm a beauty therapist - there are far more people now coming for cutting edge facials and body and waxing treatments and eyebrow threading that you just could not easily and cheaply get say 15 years ago (don't know about London).

That's sounds about right.

I have just discovered that Milan is the New SanFran for anal bleaching.

Now there is something I never knew.

I think anybody becoming a beautician today has to have no nudey rudey bits hang ups.

Facials I could do happily (if I knew how). Paint somebody's anus with bleach...less glam by far.

I am all natural! but to be fair, I lost a lot of it a year after my dd was born and it has never grown back fully. I still have massive bald patches

I can't be arsed to do anything with it any more. My husband think it has character.

I went bald many years ago before I lost it all and it itched like mad and it did just remind me of being young again so it wasn't for me.

LOL - my dp knew about the anal bleaching in Italy too.

Luckily I've never had to do that!

So I am the only one who suddenly lost all their pubes?

I blame my thyroid.