New man. Personal grooming question.

[MyPhoneIsMyWorld]

Namechanged for this one.

I'm in my late thirties, met a new bloke, haven't done the deed yet.

So, the question I need to ask is what do men like these days with regard to pubes. I was married for 14 years and basically just kept things trimmed down there.
Don't want to end up in bed with this guy and have him turned off by my possibly 'retro' style!

I'm happy to keep up with the times but don't want to go all out bald down there if it's not necessary.

Any tips?

[Hashtagwhatever]

Im another all off.
Just feels cleaner some how.

[MyPhoneIsMyWorld]

Hashtag do you do it yourself?

[lynseyclark]

you can either wax or shave although you never really get in the hard to reach places shaving i also do it using a hair removal cream for bikini areas does a good job as well but you get regrowth almost straight away where as waxing takes 3-4 weeks before the dreaded stubble reappears

[mzdemeanour]

I trim the topiary or get it waxedif there is a chance it might get seen by the general public eg in summer/if wearing a swimsuit. Otherwise I agree with posters who've said partners should just accept you as you are/whatever makes you comfortable. Then again I am an old bat and far too old to be influenced by the pornstar chic that seems to be the driving influence behind the decision to completely divest oneself of one's pubes ...

[Locketjuice]

I like it all gone.. As does dp but don't suppose he would have turned me away if the first time (or any I should hope!) I had it nicely trimmed.. A think a full on bush is a bit risky (and off putting!)

[waterlego6064]

What is risky about having normal pubic hair?! That a bloke might suddenly decide he doesn't want to have sex after all? In which case, he would have done the woman a huge favour.

People should do whatever the hell they like with their pubes. What others do or don't expect shouldn't come into it.

[DonutForMyself]

I regularly get a stray pube in my mouth, doesn't mean I won't be going down there or will insist he shaves it all off - why should it be any different for a woman? Can't see how a man should expect not to encounter any sort of hair unless he's freakishly bald all over too (not something I could ever find sexy).

I like to quote Hank Moody on this one "while I?m down there, it might be nice to see a hint of pubis. I?m not talking about a huge?70s playboy bush or anything, just something that reminds me that I?m performing cunnilingus on an adult."

[HappyJustToBe]

I'm 27 and it all stays put. DH has never been put off. I'm clean.

[TheOrchardKeeper]

I'm 22 and just do a short undercarriage (i.e well trimmed) and leave it natural across the pubic bone bit (what's the point, as it's not involved in sex unless you're doing it very wrong!! ).

If he shaves he may like it shaved though. Probably best to do it how you want first, then see what he says (though tbh if a bloke tried to tell me what to do with my bits I wouldn't sleep with him).

[Kundry]

OK I'm in my late 30s and knew my bloke was a keeper - but after many years action-free I had the full Jackson 5 (great phrase!) and knew I frankly couldn't be arsed to do regular minge topiary.

I did wonder about doing a bit of tidying but didn't want to give a false impression and felt he should be jolly pleased to being seeing my foof at all.

Also if he'd started making comments on the state of my minge he'd have been dumped in 30 seconds flat. Which isn't to be down on those that do trim or wax, just that I think you should do it for you, not the whim of a man.

[TheRealFellatio]

I am happily married but this is the kind of thing that has me waking up in a cold sweat in the wee small hours, with 'what if if I were ever single again and my fanjo scared the horses.'

I am a 'short back and sides with a neat, close trim all over' kinda gal, but I get the distinct impression that no men this side of Charles Dickens and my husband have ever actually seen any pubic hair on a woman.

It's a worry, I admit.

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

I find the 'my partner/husband likes it X' response quite disturbing actually. Because it is said in a way which means 'this is how he likes it therefore this is how I shall have it'.

I don't recall that DH has ever expressed a preference about the state of my pubes, in the same way that I haven't expressed any preference about his.

[YellowTulips]

It's your body not his.

Go with what you feel happy with - full on/full off/tight trim etc

No man (except an asshole) is going to be mortified by a woman looking like a woman.

The upshot is the trend for "all off" is fuelled by porn. Any man who "insists" on this has red flag written on his forehead.

I make no judgement on women who like this (I am a regular style changer!) when it's their choice. It's not however something you should feel a need to conform to though.

[YellowTulips]

It's your body not his.

Go with what you feel happy with - full on/full off/tight trim etc

No man (except an asshole) is going to be mortified by a woman looking like a woman.

The upshot is the trend for "all off" is fuelled by porn. Any man who "insists" on this has red flag written on his forehead.

I make no judgement on women who like this (I am a regular style changer!) when it's their choice. It's not however something you should feel a need to conform to though.

[Feelslikea1sttimer]

All I will add here is, if you use hair removal cream BE CAREFUL... I had an 'all off' incident and jeez, cream got where it really shouldn't and it was more painful than child birth... I had to pee in a cool bath because it was like someone had set me on fire...

Don't say you haven't been warned ;-)

[Aetae]

I completely agree with YellowTulips - the trend for all off is driven by a ubiquity of porn. Any man that actually insists on hairlessness deserves to get his arse dumped in a second. And any man who lets a little hair affect his enjoyment of sex has issues.

So do it if you want to, don't if you don't. Personally I can't be bothered and I don't see the point so I'm all natural.

[EvenBetter]

I don't know why I feel compelled to comment on minge maintenance threads but... I'm 28 and have it all off with Veet. Leave it on outer parts for 5 mins, then put it on inner bits for 5 mins then rinse the whole lot off. No pain, no holding your ass checks apart on all fours for a beautician, no itchy/risky shaving. Trimming with an electric razor type thing is good too.
But as everyone has said, he shouldn't even notice your pubes, if he does he's not paying attention to what's important!

[Feelslikea1sttimer]

Ah evenbetter that is where I went wrong , I did 10 minutes ALL over... I've never known pain like it!!

[stripeycups]

Evenbetter,is that normal veet you use or a special bikini one?

[Nightfall1983]

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Q
QL
IQ

[Boosterseat]

Just an undercarriage shave with shaving oil, all over trim and wax at the sides with the at home strips. Job done

That is personal preference however I've never asked my DH and never will - he's bloody lucky to get close enough to see it never mind pass judgment on its neatness.

I've never had any complaints, I would suggest just keep it tidy and if the new man complains then he isn't a bloody keeper is he?

[Geordieminx]

Could someone please explain to me how having no pubes is "looking like a pre-pubescent" but having smooth underarms is perfectly acceptable.

Jackson 5 or totally shaved its your choice but FFS can we stop with this "pre-pubescent" shit. I shave/wax.. I can assure you I look like a 30 year old woman... No one has ever mistaken me for a 10 year old and just because my dp/dh prefers it does not make him a child abuser.

Fuck sake

[Boosterseat]

geordie but what do YOU prefer?

As long as your body is how you want is then everyone else can frig off can't they?

I'm neither 10 nor a porn star plus pubes catch pheromones and keep you smelling sexy - there is science in this shit!

[TheFallenNinja]

When is the bathmat look coming back.

[TheRealFellatio]

I think the point is that armpits are not considered a particularly intimate, erotic or sexual body part, and fanjos are. Men don't generally get turned on by armpits, bald or otherwise.