Hello, tis me, Mouse and I'm one of the regular travellers on this Bus!
This is a Bus for drinkers, the completely sober, those fighting to stay sober and everyone in between! No matter what, you're welcome here if you feel you don't like the way you drink anymore, or you're worried for someone else.
Take a seat.
You'll be listened to, looked after and maybe (if you're lucky), slapped with our resident Squid, Barry 
whom I'm sure you'll meet in time!
So, what have you got to lose by posting? What have you got to lose by coming to say hello and telling us why you don't like the way you drink anymore?
And, if you'd like to see where we've been so far HERE IS THE LAST THREAD
And the reason we're ALL here in the first place, the first ever thread is ALL HERE
See you soon 
xx
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Relationships
The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Boinging Into Spring, With A Dance And A Sing!
Mouseface · 16/02/2013 20:58
Would-like-to-be FWB friend is only interested in his own misery/life/problems, which is why he's only ever going to be a WLTB FWB! Shame, he's an Italian photographer who wears cashmere (see, Ma, feeling better already) but he's a bit of a 'taker'. Remember Pepe La Pew?? That's him but with a cashmere sweater on!!
I'm working through it, slowly, on here and in RL with the Alcohol Services nurse. Going to ask for some CBT. I'm getting better at asking. Just putting it down in black and white helps. I've spent so many years not telling anyone anything - except when hopelessly drunk. My X BIL and sometime best friend tells me that I only every let my guard down when I've had a drink. That's when he sees the 'Real Me'. Clearly I have to change that - and I am making inroads to that. I suppose I have no confidence that anyone will be interested in what I have to say, how I'm feeling. Not looking for sympathy here but the two people who should have cared were absent - Mum due to alcohol and depression (and 'Uncles') and Dad due to severe case of 'spinelessness' and presence of jealous Wicked Step Mother so I think it's difficult not to assume that people will always let me down.
I'm better than I was Ma because I have this place to write stuff down. I'm in a bad place just now but I'm still typing.......... Thanks, Lovely, with all you have on your plate, to be worrying about me. xxxx
Purple I so get what you are saying about how difficult it is to ask for help. I've always been the one who looks after others, sorts their problems, takes care of them, remains calm and sorted. Then in the last 2 years when there's been so much to face I try to do the same, and I end up sitting exhausted and crying. In all the looking after other people, I forget to look after myself, and I don't think I've ever learned how to let other people look after me, for me.
I'm struggling with a sick parent at the moment (and incredibly grateful to have a close family) but it's yet another issue that's exhausting me - mainly because I'm resisting any offers of help and support. What, phone a friend? But I might cry. What, limit my visiting to once a day? But what if he dies and I end up feeling guilty. What, demand that dh takes over the shopping and cooking? But he won't buy my favourite foods and he certainly won't cook them as I like. What, cut back on my other commitments? But then I might have to admit I'm not super-human. Woe betide any of my friends trying to help me
Hi lovelybabes,
Big wave to all babes hope you are enjoying sunday evening, hope the snow has buggered off.
purple You are starting to let go of all kinds of hurtful situations and I guess it all has to come out. I can fully understand that because I'm working through similar crap childhood stuff too. I thought it was an excellent decision to contact your father last time you went on holiday, ok he didn't respond as you wanted him to but that's his big,fat loss really! Well done for getting on with the holiday and having a great time. You can't control what he thinks and lots of oap's centre their entire existence on dr's appointments- even if it's just to show a lucky Dr their piles,
You do need to let it out or get to a more comfortable place- so, yes, CBT or just councelling (sp) or aa or hypnotherapy might help you get there.
But one more thing, you have to promise us that you are going to do one nice thing for yourself every day this week, maybe not wine, but nice bubble bath or coffee with a friend just something to break the cycle of thoughts. Look after yourself lovely. x
NEW THREAD WHEN READY
Purple - I agree with Guggs - you ARE letting go of so much, letting so much out here, that you're bound to feel low, it's how the brain kinda works. The more you realise, the more you release, the more you let go, the more comes to the forefront of your mind if that makes sense?
You're making room for shit you buried long ago, your teens, your family life, your fucked up relationships, first relationships and the things that you never thought you'd do to feel loved, wanted etc (like tolerate emotional abuse and hate from people who you thought loved and wanted you) Ringing bells yet?
The more boxes that you open, the more stuff shifts around. Thing is, there's no order to it all, it comes and it comes when it wants to, not when YOU do.
So yep, CBT will help but I also think that it's time to stop hiding here and start talking to your GP about the lows you are having, maybe for a short while you can have something to help take the edge off. BUT, you have to be honest, you can fool yourself that this is a blip, but it's a long blip isn't it? 
Ask for help, it's all out there, you just have to have a tiny little leap of faith again...... you've done it once, do it again and show the world who it's messing with!!
I know that AA was a huge let down for you and I could've wept for you because you tried so hard to get help, you pushed yourself so much to say those words, make the call and then to have that thrown back at you was appalling.
I'm sorry you have no support in RL xxxx
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