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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

No I don,t want to sleep with your husband

204 replies

bongobaby · 22/01/2013 17:15

Apparently its ok by his wife that he is asking to sleep with me WTF I am so fucking angry. NO NO NO its not going to happen I,m pissed off bigtime at the pair of them.

OP posts:
EvenBetter · 22/01/2013 17:19

Um...ok.

So don't. Problem solved.

ILoveTIFFANY · 22/01/2013 17:21

Can you expand on this?

AKissIsNotAContract · 22/01/2013 17:22

Why are you pissed off with the wife?

JustinMumsnot · 22/01/2013 17:23

How does this sort of thing even come up in conversation?

Branleuse · 22/01/2013 17:23

what?

Bogeyface · 22/01/2013 17:29

ANd you believe him when he says that she is ok with him sleeping with you?

"I am in an open marriage" is second in the bullshit stakes only to "My wife and I havent had sex in ten years".

Although, a bit more explanation about wtf you are going on about would be useful!

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 22/01/2013 17:30

So true Bogey

OnTheBottomWithAWomansWeekly · 22/01/2013 17:31

Also on a par with
"My wife doesn't understand me"
"The cheque is in the post"
and
"This has never happened to me before..."

Original poster
bongobaby · 22/01/2013 18:41

I,m pissed of at both of them. Have been friends with the wife for the past 6 years. We have dc that play together.She had previously told me that her and her husband have an open marriage for past 14 years and entertain both of them having sex with other people whilst the other one watches. This brings spice to their marriage. I am not one to judge so just laughed it off as whatever floats your boat. She in no way minds of this at all between them.
However lately we had a falling out and have not spoken for the past few months. Bump into them few weeks ago and said a polite hello, bit awkward.
Husband contacts me saying can we talk the situation over and i was fine with that.
I invite him in to talk he says his piece and then tells me that he was gutted we fell out as him and his wife were discussing how he would like to sleep with me!!!
Now that we are in contact would I consider sleeping with him as they have both talked about it again and she totally does not mind and has her full consent in asking me!!

OP posts:
AKissIsNotAContract · 22/01/2013 18:43

I don't see why you are pissed off. Just decline if its not your thing.

Original poster
bongobaby · 22/01/2013 18:43

Bogey thats wtf i,m going on about and i,m not the local whore that a wife feels okay to pimp me out to.

OP posts:
Original poster
bongobaby · 22/01/2013 18:46

Wow it must be a totally normal thing to come out with then. maybe I live on another planet in thinking that keep your sexual weird fantasy to yourselves as husband and wife, In my book if you are married surely that is line you don,t cross let alone think and discuss it with your wife like you are talking about what to get for next weeks food shop.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 22/01/2013 18:47

They sound bloody creepy the pair of them. Confused Run!

CogitoErgoSometimes · 22/01/2013 18:49

Not normal in the slightest!!! They're perverted. He actually stood in your house and told you this to your face?! Shock I'm seriously wondering if that constitutes a criminal offence.

JustinMumsnot · 22/01/2013 18:50

What did you fall out about?
And what on earth did you say when he put this proposition to you? I think I would just have had to laugh.

AKissIsNotAContract · 22/01/2013 18:50

If your sexual fantasy is shagging other people then keeping it to yourselves won't really get you very far though.

Cailinsalach · 22/01/2013 18:52

It's a bit tacky and tasteless. I would just drop this aquaintance and wear a frosty face if you bump into them Don't explain, don't justify.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 22/01/2013 18:53

" I am not one to judge so just laughed it off as whatever floats your boat"

You realise now she was flirting with you? A bit of light grooming? I think you'll have to get a lot more judgemental in future as in... 'back off you twisted bitch'... :)

MadBusLady · 22/01/2013 18:55

Well, you clearly are one to judge open relationships. Which is fine. But don't say you're not.

It is a bit creepy of him to come into your house and ask you alone though. I would be weirded out by that.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 22/01/2013 18:55

Err, what? You knew them for a long time and knew they had an open relationship and said you weren't one to judge and whatever floats your boat, but now you are calling the wife a pimp?

Original poster
bongobaby · 22/01/2013 19:01

Cogito thankyou thankyou. Its the blatent audasity of him coming into my house to my face having the fucking nreve to ask me that i,m angry about. And the fact they both talked about it. Its not normal, how dare he. Me the wife and our kids were to go on holiday together but because of my financial situation I had to pull out of the holiday and she refused to speak to me. Now I am thinking that this was going to be her form of grooming me you are so right. I am blazing fuming at this but op seem to think that I should not be affronted by this.
I actually didnt expect this question and let out a very nrevous laugh as I felt very uncomfortable here in my house with him on my own. I,m nieve and this has made me mistrust my judgement. Have spent a few hours crying at what a fool I have been thinking they were ment to be friends!!! Feeling a bit violated.

OP posts:
Lifeissweet · 22/01/2013 19:03

I don't think you can decide what lines can and can't be crossed in someone else's marriage, no. Obviously, you are unhappy with the proposition, and that is absolutely your right. However, you can't be angry that they asked you if what he says is true and they are both ok with it. I would be a bit annoyed that they seem to have assumed that, because they are both up for it, that you are too.

AlienReflux · 22/01/2013 19:03

What?!! so you'd had a falling out (about what btw?) and his opening conversation after talking again after months is... can I fuck you? my wife says I can!! mental! think I would have had to laugh to too!

Lifeissweet · 22/01/2013 19:04

but I do agree that it's a bit sinister and creepy and I wouldn't be happy. Not angry, exactly, but just a bit weirded out and not happy to be around them any more.

AlienReflux · 22/01/2013 19:04

sorry x post :)