No I don,t want to sleep with your husband

[bongobaby]

Apparently its ok by his wife that he is asking to sleep with me WTF I am so fucking angry. NO NO NO its not going to happen I,m pissed off bigtime at the pair of them.

whocansay feeling very warm from previous op flaming. Safe to say I will be finding some new single friends.....

They could advertise in some appropriate websites or magazines perhaps?

Ask for a cup of Tea
Ask for a slice of Cake
Ask to borrow some Sugar
Don,t ask me to if its okay for your husband to shag me because he wants to!!! Keep that to yourself. Its not a case of don,t ask don,t get, seriously.

I'm sure they do advertise and probably go to swingers' clubs too. I still don't see why asking someone if they are interested in sleeping with you is such an unbearable violation necessitating a meltdown.

Totally agree with Hopinette and others who say why is asking somebody is so bad. Its not our thing but each to their own. They both seem happy with the situation and nobody is getting hurt, just say no thanks if you don't want to.

Inappropriate to even ask. As for they both seem happy with the situation and nobody is getting hurt seems very one sided in their favor with total disregard for my feelings.
Hardly a meltdown.

I just want to clarify, I did not mean to imply that OP should feel flattered. I'm sorry if I came off that way! Speaking for myself only I was oddly flattered. The husband may or may not have realised how vulnerable you would be and if he did that's a definite no in my book. If you feel they only got back in touch to ask you this, also no.

I'm personally a happy confident married woman and could say thanks but no thanks. I'm sorry someone chose such a bad time toapproach you but I still say no need for such anger unless he is now harassing you.

You sound unbearably uptight, OP.

Well, I hope you feel better about it now, OP. It's probably just as well in a way that you'd fallen out with them anyway - it would be sad if it ended a friendship that was otherwise going brilliantly IYSWIM.

Need a shag thats why im unbearably uptight as you put it op Anybody out there like to offer up their husbands.....

He asked, you said no, that's it. They're not pestering you are they?

OP stands for "original poster." The OP on this thread is you, bongobaby.

The level of uptightness you're exhibiting doesn't strike me as something that could be alleviated by a "shag." It seems more deep-rooted than that.

I'm with helltotheno. I'd completely understand if you're angry because you felt threatened, but if that's not the case, it does just sound like you're annoyed that open marriages/swingers exist.

He'd have been entirely in the wrong if he was pressurising you or intimidating you (and he's definitely straying into this territory if he came to your house under false pretences and you felt under siege) but saying

Think your forgetting this is someones husband.... Marriage is two people and not your mate a third for a thrill....

sounds like you're angry at what happens in their marriage, and not its effect on you IYSWIM. You're perfectly entitled to feel that marriage is between two people, just as they are to feel otherwise. It sounds like he should have handled it more sensitively but I'm confused as to why you're so outraged.

You were asked if you'd want to be involved in something, you said no, and presumably that was the end of it.

I might have missed it, but I don't think anyone said you needed a shag?

That's pretty vile and misogynistic if they did.

Don,t ask me to if its okay for your husband to shag me because he wants to!

She didnt

I'd be pissed off too, don't get why OP its getting a hard time.

Btw, I have nothing against swingers, that's not the issue here for me. You can't just be going round asking random people to shag you.

You can. There's no law against it.

Well yes, its not against the law, but I would find it very distasteful, hence, it'd piss me off.

where does it sound like im annoyed that open marriages/swingers exist? Wrong, Have said whatever floats your boat.....
More deep rooted, husband wanted to root me. he should not of asked me. I am entitled to think that he should not of crossed the line.
loopylou yes im getting a hard time here because its perfectly a normal thing to do from the some of the replies on here...

You were expecting the husband around to talk about their marriage but then was shocked and outraged when he propositioned you. Hmmmm.
It's no big deal. They probably wouldn't have pushed it if you had said right at the start that it's not something that interests you. So makes me wonder why you didn't.

where does it sound like im annoyed that open marriages/swingers exist?

In pretty much every one of your posts.

OP you are perfectly entitled to feel anyway you want about what happened. We are all different and all see the world differently. I wonder if this man would have approached you so easily if you had been married? Dont think he would have.

I was expecting the husband to come round and talk about the falling out his wife and I had months ago as said in previous posts if had been read properly you would understand my shock at what he came out with.
Get it right hopkinette in the fact that im annoyed what has been asked to me from him.

What a load of bollox, if you have a gay friend, are you supposed to come out and tell them straight away that you don't want sex with them because you are straight?

< mind boggles >