men who got to prostitutes

[jake42]

Hello .
ive been reading all the threads on here about guys who visit escorts/ prostitutes/ whores etc , and i know im probably going to be called all sorts of names as its mainly a womans site, but i thought id write and tell my tale.

42 year old male , married for some 15 years, adore my wife and child and my family life . i want to get old with her .
just after our marriage one evening after sex ,whilst cuddling in bed , she says ive been thinking, we dont have to do sex, we love each other , lets live together like a brother and sister ! WTF im thinking, whats bought this on, nothing i could say or do would change her mind, we had sex very infrequently after , mainly to try for a baby. once said baby was born , she obviously was tired most of the time and eventually moved into the spare room blaming tiredness and my snoring (i do snore, but not that bad) . that was around 10 years ago and is still there now. We may of had sex 6 or 7 times since, im never allowed the pleasure of oral sex either way ,sex is always at my request, but always with the feeling that she just wants me to come and finish.
i adore her and cant imagine life without her, but the thought of no sex or hardly any doesnt appeal to me at all.
so after being knocked back one time too many i visited a site where Escort girls advertised and agreed to meet one .
i have been discreetly seeing different ones for around 5 years, always take every precaution and making sure my wife does not catch anything.
im basically between a rock and a hard place, i need to have sex , my wife doesnt, we love each other , i dont want to leave her , she , i assume doesnt want us to split up . but i cant imagine life for another 30 yrs with out sexual contact. i kind of figure that paying for it off a prostitute is better than having an affair, which as i love my wife would be out of the question.
i would be glad if anyone out there could perhaps in someway give me some advice . oh and im not a woman hater , i adore female company more than male .

You want me to believe a link you posted and to disregard what I know from the whores themselves, right?

So you were prostituted by your father as a teenager, and yet you don't believe most other prostitutes have similar backgrounds and just weren't lucky enough to escape? You honestly believe women would choose that life?

I think that would be a very good start, RetroMom, yes.

Chubfunddler, I just said, I believe the girls! Read what I wrote again FFS!

So I should disregard what I know directly from the girls and believe a report someone else put together.

If that is how it's done on mn I'm not surprised by your mantra at all!

Stop calling women whores, it's disgusting retromum.

Why wouldnt' you believe a woman who says what prostitution is like? She's experienced it.

You're either lying or deluded. I feel sorry for you.

Yes, that was the adult response when it was going on. That's why it went on so long.

I learned not to hate them for it. They have to live with themselves for their denial and not helping out a child. I pray it never happens to one of yours.

Here's a quote from the full article. The reality of prostitution:

?The nation is finally beginning to take a look at the intrinsic harm of prostitution. I welcome this because it is a harm I have understood since I was a fifteen-year-old prostitute, being used by up to ten men a day. The one thing that linked those men together, besides their urges to pay for the right to abuse my young body, was that they all knew just how young I was. They all knew because I told them, and I told them because it had the near-universal effect of causing them to become very aroused.

?When a man is very aroused in street prostitution that is a good thing, because it means he?ll climax quickly and the whole ordeal will be over fairly fast. I learned that on my very first day while sitting in the car of an elderly man who, as he abused me, repeated over and over the thing that was causing him such sexual joy: ?Oh, you?re very young ? aren?t you? Aren?t you??

?That is the true, sleazy and debased face of prostitution ? the face that pro-prostitution lobby groups hysterically deny and attempt to conceal. Well, they cannot conceal it from me. I spent too long looking at it, too long being abused by it, and too long trying to recover from the soul-level injury it left behind.

?Many of the girls I worked alongside were not much older than I was and one was only thirteen-years-old ? and there was no shortage of grown men paying to abuse her. Most of the older women had been working since they were our age or younger, and many of them had histories of sexual abuse that predated their prostitution lives. When a person looks at a thirty or forty-something prostitute what they forget is that they are looking, in most cases, at a woman who has been inured to bodily invasion since she was a prepubescent child."

"I learned not to hate them for it."

And now you're defending men who use prostituted women. I'd rethink that approach if I was you.

Nyac you seem to have missed some of my posts on this lengthy thread, so I'm not going to go over it all over again.

Retromom, why not direct your hatred towards the man/men that did those things to you? Why the hatred against women?

Why do I have to hate anyone?

Nope, I"ve read your posts retromum.

You defend men who use prostituted women, and refuse to listen to what prostituted women actually say about it.

That's a useless approach to the harm of prostitution and the destruction it wreaks on women and girls.

Indeed.

You're showing an worrying underlying hatred towards women in your posts though. It would be best directed at your abuser(s).

You've got it wrong. I don't hate woman, just because I call a prostitute a whore. But I'm coming round to the understanding that you woman need to believe I do.

Don't even try to equate me with the people who abused you. Sorry but you are misdirecting your anger.

I'm tired of playing cat and mouse with a bunch of pitch folk wealding woman, so if you'll excuse me, have a nice night.

Whore is a hateful term that men who sexually exploit women invented to stigmatise their victims.

Do you know that a lot of men, especially those who use prostituted women, think it's not possible to rape a prostituted women. Basically these scum have invented a class of women who it is possible for them to rape with impunity. That is what the term "whore" represents, and why it reveals the deep misogyny of the people who use it about women.

I can't abide the word whore. If I had my way, all posters who use the word would be deleted.

Hurts to hear men who use prostituted women held accountable for their behaviour doens't it retromum? I know it's not supposed to happen, but I should warn you it's going to get worse. Very soon men who pay for sex will be criminalised and society will turn its backs on them. Their cheerleaders will be out in the cold too.

erm, there is a difference betwen cynicism and hatred, Retromom can't help being cynical with that background, but I think 'hatred of women' is not a fair accusation towards her at all.

Retromom's posts here go way beyond cynicism though. I can't be bothered to trawl though and copy and paste, but they're all there (apart from the deleted one of course).

WTF Nyac?!

Thanks Bricks. I don't care what these woman think of me, they've made up their mind they know it all. I'm sick of their bitching at me because they only see one side to this debate.

How do I hide this thread?

Nyac, do you have ground to be so optimistic? I only wish it got criminalised, but they are now talking of legitimising brothels and showing examples of happy hooker/pimp on This Morning!