Starting Again, Moving Forward...Onwards and Upwards ! :)

[Startingagain88]

Following all your wonderful messages of love and support since my partner of 15yrs up and left for OW, my previous thread reached the 1000 post mark and so i'm starting this new thread with a more uplifting subject title!!

Its only three weeks in since EXDP left and so i know i have a long way to go...but slowly each day I'm feeling more positive and believing that my life can be wonderful without him!

Here's the link to my old thread -

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1421736-In-shock-cant-quite-believe-it-Long-Sorry

Oh Starting, you poor love. It really is the most horrible time for you and those feelings you are going through are normal which doesn't make them any the less awful.

I don't know whether I am right to tell you this and I am no expert but I know from exP that Citalopram will often make you feel worse before you feel better. I know that will be the last thing you want to hear right now but I am saying it because it may make you realise there is a time limit to this and things should get better soon if you can just hang in there.

To get through these few days, try all the various strategies that have been mentioned on this thread. You know better than anyone what might work for you.

Would you consider going to stay with your brother for a few days? If they have the room for you, you will hardly be a burden as you are not eating much!

Keep posting Starting. Thinking of you. xx

Wish I could add something inspirational to pick you up Starting but I think you really do need to let all the grief out of your system, so cry, howl..wallow in it! Your body wont do more than its capable of, it wont last forever but you do have to just go with the flow when those overwhelming feelings come to you.

You have had times when you are happy and smiling and able to laugh SINCE HE LEFT! [not shouting, just trying to help you see it] Ive seen it in your posts here, so its true

And so you will again, time is the greatest healer of all just wish it would bloody hurry up sometimes

Loads of love to you Starting X

Midwife, i have thought about 'counting my blessings' which works for a time...but then i fall into the black hole once again!

Roxy, thats how i feel today...like this will never get better :(

I think ups & downs are normal - its early days yet Startin [hug]

Thermal, My GP did mention that the AD's could make you feel worse to begin with, i dont know whether thats why im feeling so low though..... Im just wallowing at the moment i know :(

TLNL, my sentiments exactly, just want to get strong again and move on, fed up of being miserable/feeling sad........had enough!! Feel like i have been doing too much wallowing the last week or so......i so want to move forward ARGHHHHH :(

Midwife.... these eight weeks have felt like eight months, the amount of emotions i go through in one day is unbelievable.

I feel sad :( , thank you for the hug xxxx

Thank you all for your support, I'm wallowing at the moment i know, i just cant seem to help it..... feeling very lonely and sad :(

I don't think that it helps that you have all day alone, in the house you and he bought, were doing up and making plans for your future in. Must make it bloody hard!!!

You are also going to be mourning for those children you were planning. It feels like you will never get past this, find someone else and have them so sort of like they have died (damn hope that makes sense).

The sooner you can flog the house and get rid of the memories the better. The worry that he may turn around and try and get some cash out of you can't help even if 99% of the wise mumsnetters have said don't worry

I think once you are working and have something to occupy your brain a little, plus some coffee chats with other humans it may get easier.

It is still very early days. /hugs

I'm sure it will be partly the ADs making your low mood worse and you will know from your leaflet all the other side effects that are possible.
It does seem strange that you have to go through feeling worse in order to feel better but the general consensus and I have seen it happen is that it is worth it.

You have shown that you are really trying, getting out, applying for jobs, bursts of energy cleaning and painting and have had times when you have felt almost human for a while.
But for now your body and mind is telling you to have a wallow and that is quite normal, it is still only 8 weeks. You have a wallow love.

You have an army of angry MNetters ready to descend on Kent with a large pair of scissors! Just give us a shout!

Stick with it. Big unMNet hug XX

Xales, all of things you have mentioned is right, and more!! I think i want to stay on here at least until next year though as i've had enough stress this year, i dont need a house move on top of it all...once the loft is done i may even get a lodger!

Yes the worry about him looking for money is always on my mind and doesn't help!

Thermal, that's right i have felt also human at times since he left!, i have been trying but last week and today have been a real struggle, oh i love that.....a gang of angry women ready to cut of his goolies, now that would make me smile :)

xxx

a gang of angry women ready to cut of his goolies, can I have some very large shears, I don't want to get THAT close

Just say the word and we'll be down!

I would take the fact that he is looking for money as a good thing as it means he is getting desperate, realising what he has done and I am sure deep down knowing that he could never get very much, if anything at all.

xx

Xales. Agree but maybe a small pair of scissors would be adequate for the job!

We wouldn't want blood on the white carpets would we?!

A very small pair of nail scissors would do the job! :) Lol , oh yes the white carpets god forbid they get dirty!! :)

Thought so!! Must be a very relaxed environment for him!!
Night night baby!
XX

Lol :) night night thermal xxxxxxxxx

Night girls!

night night midwife :)

oops got side-tracked by Excel and missed you all... after you with the scissors, starting

Thanks PPC, the more the merrier! :)

Morning Starting - hope you slept well?

Morning south,

Feel asleep about 2 and just woke up about half an hour ago, didnt wake up once in the night.......so yes i slept better than i have for a good few days.... :)

It bloody grey outside again.....where the hell is the spring???

Morning, Starting. Yes it's miserable up here again - grey, cold and windy.

The birds in my garden obviously feel it's Spring, though. Just seen two blackbirds shagging on my garage roof. At last I've seen a male whose performance is worse than DH's - the male bird flapped about for about three seconds before flying off, leaving the female standing there looking nonplussed!

Lol, that made me laugh! They are all the same arent they?? what are you up to today Roxy, anything exciting planned??