Starting Again, Moving Forward...Onwards and Upwards ! :)

[Startingagain88]

Following all your wonderful messages of love and support since my partner of 15yrs up and left for OW, my previous thread reached the 1000 post mark and so i'm starting this new thread with a more uplifting subject title!!

Its only three weeks in since EXDP left and so i know i have a long way to go...but slowly each day I'm feeling more positive and believing that my life can be wonderful without him!

Here's the link to my old thread -

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1421736-In-shock-cant-quite-believe-it-Long-Sorry

God yes - my life is full of excitement! Have just realised that today is the last day I can return a load of flimsy stuff I bought at Primark when the weather was glorious and which now I can't imagine ever getting to wear. I should know better at my age than to go on a mad spending spree on a hot, sunny day.

Perhaps we'll have a good spell next week and I'll buy all the same stuff again.

Anyhow, I'm off to Newcastle armed with crumpled brown paper bags. Wonder what I'll come back with?

Just see, it won't be long until you're looking forward to buying new stuff - though it might not seem like it now. With eating so little, none of your old clothes will fit you!

Hope you have a better day xx

Lol, i cant wear half of the clothes i own now, my old work trousers fall down if i put them on!!... and dont want to buy any new stuff yet, as it seems my appetite is still not back to normal yet!!

Have a great day, catch up later xxxx

So glad you slept well - the world always feels better after a good night's sleep Perhaps you should go and get yourself something new and slinky from Primark or have a nose on eBay for a bargain - and sell the old stuff!

Just surfaced after a mix-up with re-setting my alarm. Never mind, it's just my body telling me I prefer late at the moment...

roxy we are in the same area, roughly - I'm near Durham. My purchases were from George @ Asda, just after the absolute came through - but weather too cold to wear, for the most part. Am not returning them though - they are laid out on the floor downstairs while I work out what else I need to buy! This is part of the Grand Sorting which I am doing whle we both live here till settlement done

Have not lost weight, though eating erratic (and featured Weetabix yesterday, and later Bran Flakes) - but once I get to go out for walks again I think it will happen - it needs to!

How you feeling this evening Starting? You sounded a bit brighter again this morning?

I'm assuming you were joking when you said you'd thought of joining a Slimming Club?!! While they can be quite sociable, you don't need to waste £5 a week when you are wasting away anyway. And what would you do with a wall full of Slimmer of the Week certificates?!!

Hope ex is leaving you alone.
Have a good evening. xx

Hope you are doing OK Starting. I think if you calculate how much work your ex had from you before he left, and how much he managed to get himself by word of mouth or trying to advertise himself you can work out when he is going to get heavy about money if he is.

If you want something to do I can recommend going to see the Avengers movie. I have just been with DS. OMG all I can say is Thor, me and Loki in a sandwich with me in the middle please.

Evening all. Sorry I have not been around for a few days. I hape is all ok and the grey has lifted a bit x

hape???? hope

Hello :),

Thermal, switched my phone off today so dick couldn't get hold of me, he tried to ring a few times yesterday, but didn't send any text which i thought was weird, he is probably still on a high from his dirty weekend away!

Xales, not long for a call then!! He was crap at getting work in, i'm sure he will get by, but i don't know what he has told the OW, she probably thinks he is the big business man! Man Sandwich? Sounds interesting.......... :)

Only, yes it has a bit thank you!!

Did a bit of voluntary work today at a senior lunch club, really enjoyed it, helped serve lunch, chatted with the ladies and gents, had some tea and biscuits, did some chair aerobics and organised a raffle!! Really got a lot from it, lovely people there......

You sound much stronger today!! I don't think you should answer the phone to ex twunt at all ever again!! There are no kids, no joint property - goodbye permanently!! I bet the Whitstable seniors lunch club was a hoot - chair aerobics lmao!!! Well done you!!

Bloody hell, Starting! Well done!!

Oh wow! Well done you for the voluntary work and what a lovely thing to do. I bet they loved you.

Hmmm. How do you interpret lack of texts as meaning he was on a high from his dirty weekend? I would think he has just realised you are not going to answer texts and is trying to catch you unawares and speak to you in person.

Remember he doesn't really know this woman. A few months of meeting for drinks or walking the dog is hardly an in depth relationship no real Reality like paying the bills, not making a mess!

I am SO pleased that you seem to have had a much better day. XX

Starting that is so good that today sounds so much better than yesterday - you are doing such a good job of picking yourself back up after any set backs.

Your volunteering sounds lovely I find older people are great for helping me get some longer term perspective my 95 year old grandma often reminds me that unpleasant things pass and in the longer term they will feel like a tiny blip rather than how they feel at the time.

Take care and I hope you have another good nights sleep

Glad you had a good day :) I have just watched The Apprentice with ex, who thinks he knows it all. So why is your business shit then, eh? Bet your ex would be similar, would he?

So glad to hear you've had a positive day today.

Please give some thought to getting a new number, so you don't have to turn your phone off in order to avoid him.

Hope you sleep well, Starting x

Morning Starting! The volunteering sounds fab - well done you!!! I bet some of those old ladies would have something to say about knobhead ex...!?!

One thought about why he's stopped texting - could it be that he knows you will keep those as evidence against him in the money-grabbing situation, whereas of course you can't keep a phone call?

Have you got or an you quickly get hold of a tape recorder? Then have all your conversations on loudspeaker and record them. And I wouldn't tell him first x

Its quite risky doing that southlundon, he could sue her for that.

If she was going to record his calls to be used in any evidence she needs to inform him she is doing it first.

Morning Starting, sounds like you had a great day yesterday

Miserable bloody grey weather again here today but I am having a chill out day working from home, so I dont care.

Fair enough TLNL, I don't really know these things. I still think that's why he has stopped texting though.

You are probably right

Hey Starting You sound very positive indeed .. your volunteering sounds great fun :-)

I'm planning on going to see the Avengers myself on Saturday afternoon - supposed to be a Hottie Fest (I love going to the cinema myself!! Can sit where you like and have no one trying to speak to you during the trailers or film)

Why don't you go and see it too and we can compare notes later :)

I think it's a good idea for you to change your number btw - your mobile provider will help you and you can drop a text to everyone you WANT to have your number - there is no reason for your Ex to have any contact with you xx

Agree about changing your number(s).

I can see why that might be difficult for you.

It would be understandable if you actually wanted to receive texts and calls from him. Even if you're not answering him, just knowing that he is trying to contact you could be comforting in a strange way. Knowing that he is still thinking about you.

But freeing yourself completely from him and his attempts to contact you is probably the only way you will truly move forward.

I'm so glad you're doing some volunteering, elderly people can be hilarious, maybe because they're too old to care about what people think of them. So many years of experience to share and generally not judgmental at all.

Hi All,

Really enjoyed the voluntary work, got some good advice from one of the gentlemen there he said that i was an young attractive woman and that i needed to grab life with both hands....and not to waste anymore time crying over knobhead :) He said life is for the living!

Kirsty, i havent been to the cinema in ages so i might just do that!!

Had a quiet day, i do feel now that in the next few days i will have had enough of moping and torturing myself over this, i am feeling stronger (if somewhat a little fragile) and i find that i am thinking of him less and less, although i still do sometimes get the urge to contact him.

Now is the time i must start moving forward, re the house, re work, re making friends, re living my life the way I want to, one thing i do know, is that getting through this experience will make me a stronger and wiser person and that can only be a good thing, its just a shame I will have to work through all the pain to get there.

Aww, what a nice (and sensible) old chap Glad to hear you are starting to feel better.

Don't rush your fences, starting, one thing at a time. Quiet days are good, provided they are interspersed with more active ones. And active days are good, provided they are interspersed with quieter ones. Be gentle on yourself :)