Fuck Him and his Barbour - dating chat 10

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New thread - you know what to do :)

And i wont be wasting any more time on guys who dont match up to my very high standards! I have to be treated like a PRINCESS! Not with showerings of gifts but respected and loved and worshipped........sounds like i am going to be single a long time doesnt it!

I am dancing around my bedroom again, and i never thought i would do that again! I feel so good. Have an occasional wobble, but dont we all! I judge people on how they treat me!

Sounds like everyone's busy trying, dating or getting... very cool!

Time - Have a GREAT holiday mate! Enjoy every second of it!

Update on my situation...
In the last episode I'd just got the dreaded "friends" text message from Oasis/PoF girl. I texted her back saying friends worked for me, so let's not stress about anything and we'll just see what happens. She texted back agreeing and said she's starting her new job next week so she'd be out of circulation for the next few weeks anyway. All good but no mention of the health issues. So I thought it best to leave her alone and hadn't contacted her for three days.

Tonight I got a message: "Now here's a thought. Why don't you actually call me and ask me out on a date?" My immediate reaction was FFS, but I had a think and replied with "Hiya. I'd like that too... I was just backing right off in a non-smothering kind of way. How about I ring you after the weekend and we organise something?" to which I got no reply. She said last week she hates drama, doesn't play games, isn't a princess and thinks communication is the best strategy. My daughter says the booty calls were just auditions and now that I've passed the auditions Oasis/PoF girl wants to be wooed. Thoughts from the team?

Thanks Rob I intend to enjoy every minute of it, don't you worry!

My thoughts on your lady friend. She's odd! She either doesn't know what she wants or she is messing you about. One minute she wants to be friends, then she wants space and now she wants you to ask her out on a date but doesn't reply to your text. Hot and cold springs to mind. She might turn out to be hard work this one. Depends how good the sex is much you want to see her I suppose.

Hmmmm Poppa she sounds like she is giving mixed messages. If this was a guy messing a girl around like this there would be a lot of "delete/block/cocklodger" comments (sorry, I am a bit of a lurker as is obvious).

Having said that is sounds like she is having a hard time so maybe give her the benefit of the doubt.

I would say call her as you have already said you will and see how she is. Women can also be idiots in these situations and if she is a game player you can do better.

In her defence she's been single for 10 years and has the health issues to deal with. I think she likes the idea of a relationship but the reality of one scares the crap out of her and threatens what she perceives as her independence. To my way of thinking a good relationship is an interdependent one.

So many women of my age (50s) seem to vacillate between "I am woman", "Girls just wanna have fun" and "Mary Long". :(

Poppa, yes definately hot and cold...you could see how it goes, you've got the heads up now.

And also... it was 10:38pm on Friday night when she sent her message so alcohol may have been consumed.

Ooh, drunk texting...

Do I win the award for stating the bleedin' obvious? Sorry Poppa, but you've got your head screwed on, so...

So she Wants to date you, obviously but doesnt want to ruin your friendship and wants you to make the first move. I vote you ask her out!!

And yes, texting someone whilst drunk is never a good idea, but before i go meet any potential boyfriend i will be having a drink, for some good old dutch courage!

and parsley you do win the award for stating the obvious so far!

Taking her health issues into account and any other issues she may have as a result of being single for 10 years, I think rather than asking what we think about her motives, you should be asking yourself if you really want the hassle, if she is worth it. If the answer is yes, then stick it out

But, I do think the health issues and the length of time being single don't excuse her blowing hot and cold, if she isn't ready for a relationship then she should be leaving dating alone until she is. It's not fair on you or any other men she may become involved with.

oh my goodness have just discovered this thread and it is BRILLIANT- so good tpo hear I'm not the only one struggling with internet dating. I would love someone to check out my profuile and give me feedback because I must be doing something wrong...can I post what I've put on here?? WOuld anybody be willing?

I never ever meet anyone in RL. I was seeing someone for two years (finished with him a year agom- he said I love you but I couldn't say it back and anyway I didn't believe he did love me). I split with my husband in 2004 and apart from the dude I was seeing until a year ago and a couple of mini flings (all my decision not to continue) I haven't had any luck. Lots of the stuff on here v familiar- 2, 3, 4 dates then they disappear. CHatting online, vague arragnements to meet and then....nothing. What am I doing wrong?????

I dont know, the first person i spoke to, never got to meet, disappeared after a while, we chatted for ages though, but there we go, the last o i got chatting to i did meet but it never went any further than friends although we plan to meet up again soon as friends ad i am currently arranging a date with someone new....... but after i move, and we have been chatting daily.

Why does it all have to be so complicated, i am sure someone on here once said why cant it be like it was when we were about 5, when boy goes to girl, "will you be my girlfriend" girl says "yes, okay then" and then kiss? So much much more simplier!

LadyP, probably you're doing nothing 'wrong' it's just the nature of the beast.

I cant help thinking that alot of wasted time could be saved by conducting short virtual meetings before a real life meeting, perhaps a quick chat over skype would be enough to eliminate alot of folks?
(obviously the meeting can be terminated if he turns flasher)

That of course depends whether you want them to flash or not!

It is just the nature, maybe be more selective or email loads and see what you get back! MAKE them RUN for YOU! I do,

i don't get many views or many likes...I'm nice enough looking (there's a photo of me linbked to my profile on here). I'm nice, educated, happy...maybe I'm just on the wrong site? I'm on The Guardian one and it does seem a bit limited- same faces all the time. Any recommnedations for the best sites???

I suppose MLM, when we are 5 we have no experience so we don't know what we like or don't like and we don't have anything to compare it with. As we get older we know what we want and don't want and become more selective. We have experienced things that's we don't want to repeat, we are no longer a blank canvas. It could be easy for any of us to date if we just said yes to anyone who asked us out. I get hit on, I get asked for coffee on POF but they are men who don't appeal to me so I reject them. Dating is as easy or as difficult as we make it, it all depends on how we go about it.

LadyP, you probably aren't doing anything wrong. You just haven't hit upon a guy who inspires you enough to date him yet

LadyP if it's increased traffic you are after then sign up to Plenty of Fish and set your profile to Intimate Encounter. You will be inundated with messages and not all from pervs . You will have to wade through a load of dross but you will find there a a few decent ones that maybe worth a look.

the problem is more the other way round TimeForMe!

I had a look at Guardian Soulmates LadyP but there wasn't many men on there in my area. Could this be the same for you? Maybe there just isn't many men local to you.

Follow the advice in my previous post and I promise, you will be inundated with messages

that sounds scary and maybe depressing but maybe I'm getting just desperate to try it :o

Why not broaden your horizons and sign up to Plenty of fish, Okcupid and Oasis and see what happens, i mean its working for me! I HOPE and i do get a few messages come in from people i fancy a go at!

Thats not to say that later they dont turn out to be pervs though!

It's actually really good fun. The men are much more chilled because looking for an intimate encounter implies that you are chilled too. Just put in your write up that you are not looking for casual sex or one night stands, put exactly what you are looking for. Give it a try, you might be pleasantly surprised. You can always hide your profile if you don't like it.