Fuck Him and his Barbour - dating chat 10

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New thread - you know what to do :)

Jarvis Really for you. I think you need to tell him what you know, and see what he has to say for himself asap.

That's the bloody problem with online dating. There's that many fish in the sea that I think lot's of people can't help but find out how many they can bloody hook Really sorry that you've found yourself in such a pants situation.

Jarvis, when had he sent the message - can you tell?

Have you had the "are we exclusive" chat? I think there comes a point in a relationship when it is fine to say that you feel more than casual about someone and in order to save yourself any unnecessary grief, you'd like to know if they feel the same way?

Men tend to want to keep their options open as long as they possibly can & unless you are spelling out that you want to see him exclusively, he may think it is still just a casual every now & then thing.

oops X posts with Watch - asking the same thing - sorry.

We didn't even meet via the internet which is why I wasn't expecting it I guess.. I didn't know he was signed up to any sites or anything.

No I we haven't had the "exclusive" conversation, but that doesn't make it any better.. I obviously am not enough for him/good enough etc (I know I'm better than him, I don't mean that), it's just a dent to the pride/feelings etc isn't it.

Dick head.

I don't know what to say to him though.. should I call him on it?

He sent it whilst I was online, so about half an hour ago. I'm not ANGRY with him as such, I'm just a bit hurt and disappointed really.. dent to the ego isn't it.

The fact that you didn't even meet online makes it even bloody worse imo!s

Yes it's a dent to your pride but it really is him who is the inadequate one. Then again, you haven't had the exclusive chat so he will probably just use that as his excuse

I would definitely call him on it. I think you have every right to tell him how upset, and annoyed you are.

I agree it is a bit of a slap - but it is definitely not a reflection on you at all.

If you haven't had "the chat" then it does make it better - because you are still just dating. I'd be tempted to tell him exactly what he's done & see what response you get.

course it doesnt make you feel any better, its not a nice thing to happen at all.

But, ( and dont hate me) if you havent had the exlcusivity talk, then hes not really doing anything wrong... same as you wouldnt be if you were doing the same.

You are all right of course, I'll ask him about being exclusive and see what he says.. and then maybe bring up his stupid mistake...

jarvis on a positive note it's good that he picked you out, shows you are his 'type'.

I agree with everyone re the exclusivity talk. Until you have had that then you are both free to chat/date other people. And it is still early days for you. If this were me I would reply to his message in a jokey/friendly/caught you out way and go from there. Don't let it get you down or put you off.

HA, yeah thanks Time. OR, he's just messaging everybody!!

I'll bring it up later, you've all made me feel a bit better about it but I'm still nursing a bit of wounded pride. How could ANYONE who dates and sleeps with me not immediately fall in love with me? HOW? :)

I would call him on it tbh. Have you asked each other if you use internet sites. Fact is you were online too so might have to explain why. I would tell him what you know, when you are face to face, and say something along the lines that he is obviously still looking so you need the chat.

I would have been upset too.

Ha, ha Jarvis, I don't know but am asking myself this question too :)

I would have 'the talk'.... I know you haven't said you are exclusive, but he has described you his girlfriend, which is a bit disengenuous (sp) is it not?

Jarvis Just a thought. Is it possible he recognised you from your profile and was messaging to see what you would do? Deffo worth at least talking to him about it I would have thought.

EHoney...do men have the brains to think that many moves ahead?

I agree with Parsley, he's playing fast and loose, letting Jarvis know he see's her as as his g/f whilst casting about for other catches.

I'd be tempted to reply to his message but not let him know that we are already carnally acquainted
he's set himself up to be trapped, his gun is pointing at his feet..finger on the trigger.

obviously I am evil

EHoney, I don't think he knows it's me no.. Although yes, adams, he probably would question why I was on the site.. which is why I thought twice about replying with a "oi you".

I'll let you know what he says later! I'm not sure I've got the balls to reply pretending to be someone else! Although it's tempting!! haha.

Yeh, fair point loves I just keep hoping that men will prove us wrong at some point by being decent.

Good luck Jarvis. :)

Oh jarvis what an arse? I mean why if your his "girlfriend" is he emailing other people on a dating site? It doesnt make sense. I think you need to check you are exclusive! And if he seems like he is lying ditch him, honestly dont start a relationship off if he is already messing around, it will only get worse.

I know me and the date coming up are exclusive, but i havent spoken to him today cos well, my throat is so swollen i can barely speak anyway and sound like a mouse! YES A MOUSE even when i shout. It seems to be getting worse yet i am on anti biotics.

I know, that was what I thought miracle, maybe he didn't mean girlfriend and it slipped out, who knows. Oh I won't start a proper relationship if his replies are unsatisfactory don't worry! I don't waste time on guys who don't come up to scratch!

Maybe your date likes mice!

Jarvis 'I'm not sure I've got the balls to reply pretending to be someone else'
it doesnt have to lead to a show down, you could just reply a couple of times to sound him out and see what he's looking for.
Give him a bit of rope & see if he hangs himself, then just stop replying.
That way you have some inside info on the situation and you can decide how to proceed with him without having to explain what you were doing on the site

damn, there I go revealing just how devious I am

I decided not to phone him today, leave it until tomorrow, we chat every day normally so it shouldnt be a problem! Might send him a text or two though, but dont expect a reply cos he has no credit! And i dont mind phoning him cos my mum got me a contract sim (but i pay the bill!) So loads of free minutes to use anyways!

Loves has a point, maybe you should reply annon and see what he has to say. Don't sound too interested though as that puts them off but just ask how he is finding the site and if he's met some nice people evil chackle

he he, I'm so glad I'm not the only dastardly schemer

or rather cackle