Hi Adam, I have an old friend lurking in the background. We meet up now and again and enjoy our time together. He has left a long term marriage and I need to ensure that I am not a rebound for him. However, he does have really serious business issues and I hope that this doesn't sound selfish but I (along with a lot of other people) have had a bit of a difficult time in the past and it's time for fun. SO, along with being careful about the rebound thing, I am also thinking he is a bit needy. I'm being supportive to him and I'm just keeping my options open. (I like him a lot but having had an awful relationship where I was the main breadwinner and I'm still paying financially for that little error of judgement!) Equally, we have never discussed what exists between us and I'm being a coward about it. I told him to go away after Christmas but he came back asking to keep in contact so we are.
And then there's my doctor friend - he's great but emotionally unavailable - he wants to just date and have sex. Whilst I'm quite happy with this at the moment, in the long term, I want someone that wants a little more so he is a little dangerous for me as I could see myself liking him. Plus he's 8 years younger, never had kids and he's still young enough to want these things.
Reading all this back, it's me that isn't ready to settle down to one person, isn't it?????
Sponge, please please don't ever think this is you. I've had my fair share of issues like you describe and all I do now is set very low expectations and it protects my vulnerability. Think how far we have come. I stayed completely single for the best part of 10 years. Now a year after dipping my toe in, I have had loads of sex, met loads of nice people, (met one or two shits too sadly) but my confidence in myself is so much better. Not perfect, but better than it was. Just think I'm emotionally unavailable :( :( :(