Close Encounters of The Intimate Kind! Dating thread No:8

[TimeForSomeAction]

Continued from Makes post and in reply of:

Make just ask him. Why not? And of course you are going to be a bit of a mystery woman, he's only just blooming met you! Send him a message saying if he fancies unravelling a bit of the mystery then to get in touch because you would like to see him again. Be playful, be teasing, be fun, make him want you Make

I'm pleased you are having fun but I do have to ask, is all this dating costing you loads of money?? New outfits etc

watch right decision if you weren't feeling good about it. You can have a cosy night in with your snuggie now

sponge how old are your children? I agree, it is really bad form of your ex to pick them up and take them without checking with you first, I would be livid. It's showing great disrespect towards you. Can you go pick them up and bring them back to yours? Show em all you won't be walked over!

Yep I agree, right decision.

I think it was too much a sure thing for you watch, it all sounded a bit too much like a proper date It would have me running for the hills too!

If it doesnt feel right, it just doesnt feel it!! At least you let him know and didnt leave him just waiting around for you, which was very nice of you. You could have texted at the last minute to tell him you werent able to make it.

It's raining anyway, your hair would have gone all frizzy.

Assuming she didnt take an umbrella like i do! On the bottom of my pushchair very sort of umm elegant (NOT) but it keeps me dry and thats the main thing :)

Aw hatesponge what a shit :(

Watch you did the right thing if you just weren't 'feeling' it

I can highly recommend a break from it all, I have to say I'm glad I'm sorted for FWB's though or I would actually go stark staring mad. Every few weeks is enough to stop the wall climbing madness.

time they are 10 and 13. It's not easy for me to get to Exs (3 buses, or a taxi as I don't drive) and if I did I'd expect them to either

a) not answer the door or
b) get his mum or dad to answer and say the boys weren't there.

and in either case there wouldnt be anything I could do. Boo :(

Jarvis, hello, and ooof, I feel for you! been there done that got too excited etc - just remember it might only be so good because all the pressure is off due to the chat. Keep texts really limited for now and just see how it goes for a while, if he is interested in more, he will make that clear.

I decorated my entire house once years ago to stop me texting and all that after a similar thing

well, exacally :)

Yeah - too much like a proper date. I dont like them, there were expectatations from his side. nothing makes me panick more than expectations. I fucking cant handle expectatations.

sponge - court order or no court order, you, as the resident parent, have more rights. He cannot just take them without consulting you first.

sponge - there is plenty you can do. You call him and tel him, that unless he returns the boys, you will be seeking a court order, that he cannot and will not take the boys without consulting you first, especially when it is your weekend. If you allow him to get away with it, then hes just going to keep doing it.

Lubey - i dont have any fwb at the momment. Its winter. im not bothered. I shall be bothered in the spring. lol

Yeah I can relate to you there watch, I wouldn't have liked the expectation that we sit across from each other and eat not on a first meet up, no. There has to be room for a swift exit, you can't exactly get up and leave while a waiter flambés your crepes.

Sponge what watch says. His behaviour is disgusting and wrong!

I have a friend with benefits, it's large, it's purple, it runs on batteries and it doesn't require conversation. It's perfect!

sponge, this is rubbish. we need to lay down some very clear boundaries here. The boys will want to go to his because he'll let them arse around and do what they want. I don't have any bright ideas other than instigating a formalised contact agreement and each time he breaks it getting it logged. what a shit. sorry I can't be more copnstructive, it must be infuriating.

watch I demand you get into your PJs/slanket, park your arse on the sofa in front of a good film that does not involve any romantic nonsense, pour yourself a very large rum and enjoy a bit of time off. wading through the
dregs gets to us all after a while. have a rest. :)

Jarvisglasses hello, welcome. stop thinking with your vagine. :) that certainly isn't a criticism of having some very good sex on a first date just take a deep, deep breath and think of something else for a bit. :)

Sponge I'm so sorry. How absolutely awful. His behaviour just isn't ok on any level. To undermine you like that sends all the wrong messages to your boys.

One option for you is to get some legal advice with a view to going down the residency order route. You have more than ample grounds for applying for one you know.

Oh and I just wanted to say a bit hello to all the new folk on the thread! Welcome! The more the merrier

it does indeed. I have ordered a pizza :) i am wearing owl fleece pjs. Ice is being made in the freezer :) DD has just gone to swimming lessons then is on to her dads.

You know what, i MIGHT have gone, except i looked at his pics again and he ad send me two with his tounge out.. one front view, one close up and side on. I cold see in his mouth. TOO MUCH!!!! I think i was meant to be impressed with the tongue - but sorry, its just insulting and im sure in his head i was just a sex thng. I AM NOT JUST A SEX THING! It was the picture that did me in. lol

thanks so much everyone :) I feel a bit empowered now. Have sent him a text (I can't phone him - I do everything by text so he cant insult/belittle me, he never dares be rude by text because its in writing, and as such then I have a record of whats said as well for my own benefit iyswim) and said pretty much what Watch said. I've told him I expect them back by 7pm - which gives him 2 hours to finish whatever they may be doing, have dinner and get back. now just have to wait...

YOU ARE NOT JUST A SEX THING!!! nods

good call sponge.

well done sponge.

if he does not, you know what you have to do. If he does not return them by 7pm, say nothing. Do nothing.
Instruct a solicitor and get the ball rolling, but do not mention it to him.

You have told him the situation, it is now his choice to do what he wants, but he needs to learn, that bad choices have unsavoury consequences.

Just for the record. There will be no marigolds,no cleaning the carpet by hand and no pinnys, pink or otherwise!

I can however assure you that stay will be getting a hoover for valentines day and is most certainly in trouble!

snigger

Stupid iPhone! Wasn't finished! A new hoover would save you doing it all by hand right enough!

Well done sponge!

Tongue watch, tongue!! hat the hell happened to cocks!! Are you losing your touch? Your planned evening sounds fab! Much better than dinner with a tongue wielding teacher!

Sparks do you know, you are such a boring old fart spolisport! We were all so looking forward to the photo's

Do your own housework stay!

And shame on you for encouraging her Time!