Close Encounters of The Intimate Kind! Dating thread No:8

[TimeForSomeAction]

Continued from Makes post and in reply of:

Make just ask him. Why not? And of course you are going to be a bit of a mystery woman, he's only just blooming met you! Send him a message saying if he fancies unravelling a bit of the mystery then to get in touch because you would like to see him again. Be playful, be teasing, be fun, make him want you Make

I'm pleased you are having fun but I do have to ask, is all this dating costing you loads of money?? New outfits etc

Is that what you do intimate encounter, that then comes across as if you want to fuck on a first date, you wont find anybody serious from that.

I actually never got any interest on POF unless you are a stunner no one bothers or around 37. Im too old at 47.

Oh and too fat at a size 14 apparently and too rough - see my pic on my profile, im not rough.

Fabby I am 47 and I'm getting loads of attention, a lot of it from really nice men so, you are certainly not too old. And I'm a size 14 too. You are not fat and you are not rough! Ignore the negativity, refuse to take it on board and let it go.

As for being on IE no, it doesn't come across as you want to fuck on the first date because you make it clear in your profile that's not what you want. You will get messages from men trying their luck but you just delete or block. You will get a lot of messages from men who want long term relationships but don't want the live in/marriage set up. There are men out there who don't actually want casual sex or one night stands believe it or not

Hi, I was texting quite regularly with a friend and met up a couple of times. Felt like things were moving forward towards not a relationship, but something more than friends. His texts were quite cheeky, mine were back. Last time we met up everything good (with two couples which was bit odd and my DCs were there but we mainly spent time together 2 of us and was really nice, he brought flowers and kissed me goodbye on cheek). He texted straight after he left with kisses etc. Then I said do you want to do something at weekend (hoping to get chance for a snog!) he texted back inviting me to cinema and for a drink. Great. I agreed and asked when and where. He texted back early next morning to call it off saying he had to mend his mum's roof. Couple of friendly texts around fact that he woke me up but I got the impression that it was an excuse. Haven't heard from him since. What do you think? We've both just called off long term relationships. I've got two children and so have to keep in touch with DH for that reason but moving forward towards full legal separation. He is single, same age as me and we are primarily friends but always had a bit of chemistry (nothing ever happened). Should I just phone him and ask him what's going on? Should I just leave it alone? Or what?

Okay Time give me some pointers. What am I doing wrong? Seriously I didnt get any messages at all. None. Only from guys I found ugly. Bald, fat too old. Im attracted to guys in their late thirties.

Im not looking for a live in, im looking for a live out.

Say that then, Fabby. "No baldies, fatties or oldies and must not ever want to live with me."

Ive been living alone with my kids for five years, before that I was married to a wife beater for a month, but together for a year. Before that single two years, before that married for 7.

I like my own space now, but I get lonely, Id like someone to spend some evenings with and the weekend. Fun more than drudge.

Hope you don't mind me butting in...Bald not a problem; fat not too much of a problem; must not ever want to live with me - non-negotiable!!!! Have just redecorated my bedroom in such a girlie style that will hopefully ensure that if I ever lose a grip and invite a man in...he'll not be able to suffer a full night!

Fabby that's just what I'd like too. Someone to go to pictures with and snog. Love my own space and time with the kids but would be nice to have someone occasionally.

Fabby, I'm older than you and get loads of messages off POF. Occasionally some are decent looking. Was talking to a few before Christmas all around 45, good jobs, presentable etc. Didn't you put that you were 10 years younger than you are? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I reckon I would be told I'd had a hard life if I tried to pass myself of for, ahem, 35 .

If you are not getting much attention change your setting to Intimate Encounters, seems to work well for the posters on here.

Lovingfreedom, sorry he has backed off, time will tell but he might be making excuses, give it a few more days.

I put I was 37 and I can pass for it easy.

I miss cuddles, kissing, someone to watch a dvd with. I dont get home till six by the time Im chilled out from work its 8.

Id like to join this thread if I may and I shall start again on POF maybe later.

I wouldn't lie about my age. Women hate it when men put photo's of themselves 10 years out of date so I think it's a bad idea.

I dont put pics on ten years out of date they are recent.

Check the pic on my profile here i use that pic. its recent.

I know your photo is recent, I meant saying you are younger is on a similar level as men who put old photos up.

Was just trying to suggest changing your profile so that you get more attention from the type of men you want. You could say that you are looking for someone younger. Lots of nice younger men on POF are looking for experienced older women for various reasons.

I think I might have blown it with Mr Champagne :( He asked me why my profile was set to IE (his is dating - though from exchange of messages he's not looking for anything serious/relationship-y). I've fudged a reply which didn't sound AT ALL convincing. Poo.

Knew I shouldn't have counted my chickens on that one.

Will go back and read the new thread now and add a more constructive, less mememe message

the age thing - I have knocked 4 years off my age on POF. When I was on there as my actual age (39 - pre the change to IE!) I got messages from over 40s who looked ready for retirement. Changing it to 35 most messages I get are from guys in their late 20s. I'd prefer mid-30s but there doesn't seem to be many of them about!

Fabby, why not try specifying the age of guy you're looking for - you can put in minimum and maximum ages on POF - means you'll avoid messages from OAPs or from teens looking for a Mrs Robinson type thing!

But when I had it set at 37 I told them on my profile I was in my forties Im happy to do that but not set my age at 47 as it is too restrictive.

I see a pic of a guy the other day said he was 37 my god he was 55 if he was a day.

I was looking for 35 to 45. Pref not fat, balding I can live with.

I've had my fair share of younger guys and although I physically couldn't go much older, I prefer men around my age nowadays. Whilst I can still act younger than my years, sometimes, I've grown up now. I think you do when your kids grow up. That's why women who start their families young seem more mature than their years, not that that is a bad thing.

Sponge, how did you explain it? I hope you haven't scared him off. I'm not sure that the IE thing is the best way to attract attention (did anyone pick up on that ). I am keeping an open mind as it seems OK for Mrs C judging by her date.

adams, I said that I'd done it as a sort of experiment, but that I wasn't looking to just meet up and shag randoms - but not anything really serious either, which was sort of what I'd already said to him anyway.

I dont know - on the one hand I'll kick myself if I miss out on football and drinks. On the other, he's quite bright, he clearly had read my profile, so not sure if i necessarily buy that he didnt see it was set to IE from the start. Have to wait and see...

You're really pretty Fabby!

I am pre-thinking about dating. Never done internet dating. But it's too soon tbh, only about 3 months out of a previous rel.

He sounds nice Sponge. However, I reserve judgement depending on which footie team he supports . Must admit that if someone nice sends me a message I done pay much attention to the finer details on the profile until we get near to arranging a date.

don't not 'done'