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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Close Encounters of The Intimate Kind! Dating thread No:8

999 replies

TimeForSomeAction · 13/01/2012 14:05

Continued from Makes post and in reply of:

Make just ask him. Why not? And of course you are going to be a bit of a mystery woman, he's only just blooming met you! Send him a message saying if he fancies unravelling a bit of the mystery then to get in touch because you would like to see him again. Be playful, be teasing, be fun, make him want you Make Grin

I'm pleased you are having fun but I do have to ask, is all this dating costing you loads of money?? New outfits etc Grin

OP posts:
MsCellophane · 07/02/2012 16:33

I was wearing flat boots so I was maybe 5'2 when we met, I was definitely a tiny bit taller, maybe in bare feet I will be shorter? Grin

It really is a shame as everything about him is lovely - he is training for competition at the moment so not an ounce of fat on him and arms bigger than my size 18 thighs!

I'm thinking he may have a form of dwarfism and that makes me feel worse for being shallow

I just want regular male company at the moment, so not sure how many FWB I might end up with. The ones I have met so far wouldn't be up for weekly - as that then moves into dating. I'm not sure I want the same one weekly either as weekly isn't doable right now due to work and family. Would be nice to have a handful on speed dial, so if one can't then another can Grin

Hotbutdim is the only one local and who lives alone (ie not with flatmates or single parent) I can't travel too far and can't invite anyone back here very often

I am really enjoying the coffees/drinks/dinners though, it's so nice to be out. I might be getting addicted to that side of it though

lovesadirtylie · 07/02/2012 16:57

Men who are very short, say under 5 ft 4 often seem slightly out of proportion, where as short women dont ( I speak as a 5ft 2 woman)
I wish I could enjoy the coffee meetings, I'm usually scared stiff and bored rigid all at the same timeBlush

DatingMinefield · 07/02/2012 19:28

Hello! Thought I would come and join you. I've been lurking for a bit and seeing as I've just had my own personal dating aargh this weekend - see here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1400298-Opinions-please-have-I-just-been-on-a-date-with-a-cheating-husband?msgid=29946254

Perhaps I can benefit from your experience and collective wisdom. Grin

DatingMinefield · 07/02/2012 19:34

My situation is that I'm seperated, divorce underway and I'd like some informal dating etc, not necessarily with sex - I just miss male company -for now. I don't really want complication.

I've got three possibles on the go by email, not met any yet but making plans. Not sure if I actually fancy any of them.

Not really sure what to do for the best at the mo. Dating types my age (mid 30s and up) seem to be keen on looking for long term and I definitely don't want to step out of a marriage into another relationship.

Is it unfair or unrealistic to expect a man to fit in with casual dating, non exclusive, possibly intimate if I feel like it at some point type stuff? I sound like a nightmare. Grin

Flanelle · 07/02/2012 20:13

DM, are you on OKC? Loads of blokes looking for a booty call, and a very high nuumber of polyamorous couples too, if that floats your boat.

Flanelle · 07/02/2012 20:14

I had a very nice date with someone from OKC yesterday. It's a great site. All my Match Affinity dates have been utter duds. It's been bloggable.

FreakoidOrganisoid · 07/02/2012 20:27

Argh! Text my date for tomorrow my postcode as he is picking me up... but thanks to autocorrect actually sent XX22 SEX Blush Bet he thought he was onto a promise for a minute there!

MsCellophane · 07/02/2012 20:32

DM - I am looking for informal dating but including sex so I changed my POF profile to intimate encounter and it has been eye opening

I also wrote exactly what I am looking for which is dating one man but nothing serious. No one night stands, sexting, webcam, sex talk or nude pics

I have had 100's of messages but most are deleted as soon as they hit the inbox - lots of pervertsm marrieds and men wanting everything I said I didn't

Anything is fair if you are open with it.

I'm happy as hotbutdim just text asking me over thurs to finish my wine - he got two bottles in last time. Am liking this blokes style - not on my case with endless texts, no questions on what I'm to with others, no smut talk. Hopefully will be able to make it thurs as the man has a trick tongue hehe

DatingMinefield · 07/02/2012 22:17

I am on OKC, but haven't paid it much attention as I found the quality a bit low. Grin

Perhaps I just need to get over myself and pick up a booty call. Maybe not. I'm feeling a bit teenage at the moment and would be happy with a bit of a snog.

I have had more than my share of filth in my Inbox on POF. Do they arrive with definite 'expectations' if you go for IE?

lovesadirtylie · 07/02/2012 22:32

DM, plenty of guys will have expectations if you go for the IE options.
But they can damn well dream on!

You're under no obligations if you meet someone and just not 'feelin it'
I generally prefer a quick informal chat to see what he's like, then arrange another meeting if both parties are agreeable.

I tend to make it clear that I'm not up for it on a first meeting.
If he then tries to get me to agree in advance to sex on a first meeting, or even the possibility of it..he's history Grin

PoppaRob · 08/02/2012 04:39

Given we're at message #962 and due for a new thread soon can we incorporate "fuckmuppets" in the title? It's a great word!

I'm thinking of:
"Fuckmuppets need not apply! Dating thread number 9... number 9... number 9..."

PoppaRob · 08/02/2012 04:42

And on the dating front I was contacted on FB by an old friend from an amateur theatre group I was involved with when I was a teenager. We're the same age and we flirted and pashed a bit in the prompt corner back when we were 17 or 18 but never did anything heavier. She lives hundreds of miles away but we think a get-together may be on the cards, even if it's a once only or occasional thing.

reddevildad · 08/02/2012 08:54

time, well done for proving that your bullshit detector is working well.

The 4 or 5 times married Jimmy Goldsmith (I'm showing my age here) once said, "when a man marries his mistress, he creates a job vacancy."

watchoutforthatsnail · 08/02/2012 10:06

time, sorry that happened. I know how dispointing it is when you think someone has potential. But hes an arse, and it shows how well your bullshit radar is working, which is a very good thing. Be proud of yourself for noticing so quickly that something was up. Anyone else worth a few emails?

Snape - yay to the second date friday. Where are you going? what are you wearing? will there be snogging?

loves - that is short, im only short myself, and i dont fancy short men at all. They need to be 5ft 10 at least. over 6ft really. I didnt realise i had such a thing about height really, until last weekend with the teacher, who was all tall and throwing me about the bedroom, and it just cemented that i like men to be tall and strong. ( the last few have been smaller and certainley weedier) I couldnt do more than 2 fwb really. because of time and i cant be arsed with any more hastle than that. But it depends on the frequency of it, if you find one whos wanting to see you once or twice a week, i cant see the need for more than one?

mrs cello - sounds like you are having lots of fun.

lubey - hows the weight loss going? im at about a stone now :) horray!

and sponge - so pleased you are learning to drive. Im sure you will be fine and maybe in your head have turned it into this big thing, which it really isnt. You are a grown, capable woman, with a very good job. Of course you will be able to drive a car ;) go for it. If i were you, id try one of those intensive week long courses and get it out of the way. Ive taught several people to drive, and its always way better ( when teaching a grown up) to do it in as short a time as possible. Plus - you might be lucky and get some amazing instructor that looks like tom hardy :)

Im still all smiley. Like a pleb. And looking forward to friday. We have been texting a little ( not all the time, which would annoy me), and its really nice to know someone is thinking of you, and finds you attractive. I like it.

watchoutforthatsnail · 08/02/2012 10:15

and mrs cello - yes, come join me in the cougar club. Ill make us t- shirts or something :)

Zanywany · 08/02/2012 11:11

Can I join the cougar club even though there is only 2 years difference?

Love the new title Poppa

Sounds like your busy MsCello - hotbutdim sounds like he is thoughtfull, can you ignore the height if everyting else is good?

How are things going with you Reddevildad have you talked to your girlfriend about things yet.

Watch and teacher sitting in a tree K I S S I N G

Hi Datingminefield love the name

Hi Time and Lubey

watchoutforthatsnail · 08/02/2012 11:23

yeah, come in zany - you can have a t shirt too :)

not sure on the kissing bit, germy boy gave me his cold.

lovesadirtylie · 08/02/2012 12:13

I'm not so sure about the cougar label..I mean feline is good, but a cougar seems a bit of a third rate big cat.
I'm thinking panther or tigress, bit more kudos..no?

watchoutforthatsnail · 08/02/2012 12:21

lol ' third rate big cat'

lets be motherfucking tigers then :)

i luff tigers. they are my favourite animals - bar rock stealing penguins and my dog.

PoppaRob · 08/02/2012 13:11

I'm picturing something very Sesame Street... aggressive carnivorous feline fuckmuppet with lots of shaggy fur, but teeth and crazy eyes! :)

lovesadirtylie · 08/02/2012 13:15

he he,
I'm thinking actual animal tigers..dangerous and untameable Grin

Zanywany · 08/02/2012 13:40

Grin at link

TimeForMeAndDD · 08/02/2012 13:53

Hi everyone!

Thanks you watch and reddevildad and yes, I am proud my bullshit radar is working properly. It's had a lot of practice while I've been on POF, It should be renamed 'Plenty Of Bullshit'. Anyway, I've hidden the profile again and am thinking of maybe giving OKCupid another go, see if I can find myself a gentleman, I'm in the mood for a gentleman! I might find myself a Mr Yacht like Zany, Hi Zany! Smile

Am feeling a leetle bit flat actually, it's coming up to 2 years since I made my great escape to the refuge and my mind is recalling 'event's' that I wish it wouldn't and I can't seem to do anything about it, that might be why I was enjoying the diversion the fuckmuppet was providing and why I felt so pissed off disappointed when he declared himself a fuckmuppet. Ah well, it will pass. Smile

I don't like short men either. I'm 5ft 9 and a half so quite tall myself. It would be nice to have a man taller than me, I definitely couldn't date anyone my height or shorter because I like to wear heels and feel like I'm not out with my little boy so preferably no shorter than 5ft 11" for me. The height is one of the first things I look for when reading a profile.

On a positive note I passed the Presentation part of the ECDL I am studying this morning. 96%! I nearly fell of my chair! Grin