I have just discovered something about the man i am about to marry...

[upsydaisy1974]

I have had reason to think that all is not as it seems lately and I have just checked my partners spare mobile phone and I have found that he has created an entry in the address book with my name on it and has put the contact number as the spare phone. He has been sending absolutely filthy messages to his own phone, but obviously as my name is in the address book it comes up as from me. The same messages are in the sent box and in box. He is sending them to himself. How the hell do i deal with this?

That's true, Thingumy - it could be that he is abusive on some level and she hasn't quite figured it out yet, or he could be basically normal with a weird thing going on on the peripheries.

I see your point. Maybe the 1% will turn out to be more important though than its size would suggest - or it may not.

Heroine, I'm not going further to engage with someone so completely offensive. Profanities are literally spilling from your mouth, unprovoked.

You sound mad, and yes I'm happy with my posts so far thanks.

Heroine , you dont get to tell people what they think. Why not ask ?

Your behaviour suggests youve got your own issues with men , you seem willing to justify and minimize a lot of this and seem to be angry with those who wont do the same .

Maybe this thread has hit a nerve for you.

apologies for very fucked up split infinity situation there. I am being chucked a diabolo at approx every 5 seconds here.

yep nice try to make me paranoid and turn it on to me - not going to work I'm afraid - used to that game. And no paranoid fans - I am not the OP's other half or her other personality or any other such guff.

Heroine Fri 04-Mar-11 18:38:39
Oh no. we agree - you think all sorts of people are bonkers based on f'all evidence and a whole load of self-supporting bollocks without ever thinking that to be as paranoid and vindictive as you are you must be somewhat tainted yourself. I imagine you as the type who would cut out all the Bella and Chat articles about 'raped by my brother' or 'stabbed by my uncle', stick them in a scrapbook and use this to 'prove' the man in the werther's original advert 'must have' had a 60 year history of sado masochism and that all men are killer rapists. |Nuts.

Sorry, but I need to repost this because it's still making me laugh! It's just beyond classic.

Do you mind ?
The Werthers original guy is my grandad

better ask ingrid then about his subtle training techniques thaat are so subtle as to not even be there, but are worth punishing him for and making your memories of him tainted with paranoid false memories.

Lol why would i ask Ingrid about it ?
Your the one whos going on about it and conjouring up some quite disturbing scenarios. Do you generally think of all men in this way Heroine ?

good - not sure the OP needs her opinions twisted by you lot - I hope all goes well for her.

nice try dignified .. again .. won't work.

What the sweet Jeff is going on here?

Ingrid - don't swear at it lovely, you're just making yourself look as nasty as it. And we all know you're not.

IGNORE IT x

Heroine, do you have anything useful to say to the op.

Heroine , youve got some seriously warped ideas about men that your trying to project onto us .

oooh loot at you lot rounding on me! :) I'm pleased you have an obvious target now

..... that's good .. let it all out.. and breathe....life isn't so scary now.. is it.. ? not all men are bad are they?... no.. that's right.. get it all out....alll ... ouuuutt....

thanks, Mouse. It did work though. (hopefully)

or maybe not..

yep nice try to make me paranoid and turn it on to me - not going to work I'm afraid - used to that game

Sorry to hear that . It might explain why you think the Op should put up with it as well.

Heroine, I dont quite see where you are coming from. I think Ingrid and dignified have been sensible and measured.

What we do know, which is no conjure, is that the OPs fiance has sent filthy text messages from his spare phone to his normal phone. He has checked out no strings sex sites. He has admitted he has made traps for his fiance to check on her when he is the one who has to rebuild trust. Why he has done this, one may speculate on, and speculation can sometimes be useful.

In any event, this is not good in a loving relationshp, and one should perhaps be careful whether enter into marriage in these circumstances.

I wish the OP all the best, strenght and courage.

Yes - the OP should read my messages about how bloody paranoid all your BS is likely to make her - she starts believeing it about page 2/3 and then you reward her for it.

All of this is ignoring his input or opinion yet you think that you have the answers to his mind - that is dangerous territory.

well lets look at it this way - the OP has successfully left a previous relationship taking everything, and is clearly a snooper - he makes a joke about a 'trap' and it rumbles her as being a snooper - he is bored and makes joke calls to himself from another phone, she finds it by snooping, and then spends a long time telling the story to people who 'help' her shift the blame to him for her actions.

well, that is a lot of conjure.....