I have just discovered something about the man i am about to marry...

[upsydaisy1974]

I have had reason to think that all is not as it seems lately and I have just checked my partners spare mobile phone and I have found that he has created an entry in the address book with my name on it and has put the contact number as the spare phone. He has been sending absolutely filthy messages to his own phone, but obviously as my name is in the address book it comes up as from me. The same messages are in the sent box and in box. He is sending them to himself. How the hell do i deal with this?

Good luck tonight! I really wish that he does have a true, sincere and rational explanation for all the odd behaviour, for your sake and your dcs. But sadly I fear that he will offer up crap.

Be strong! We are all rooting for you. I know for sure there will be support for you here whatever you decide to do next.

Hello Mouse.
Thankyou for joining me.

I do just need to post a quick C&P from, of all places, the most dumbed down website bar Club Penguin, 'Babycentre':

'?Almost a third of domestic violence begins in pregnancy. Pregnant women already in abusive relationships often report that abuse has got worse during their pregnancy (DH 2004).'

Hey Ingrid

Sad but true.

do you guys always ignore people who disagree with your warped versions of reality?

This post and the energy of posters 'proving' that a guy who might just as easily be sending warm reminders to himself about his secret thoughts about his partner .. or just fiddling with his phone and being silly is ansolutely jaw-dropping and you should be ashamed.

Heroine, I guess you would be totally happy then if your DH (to be) joined a "no strings" dating site? I know I wouldn't, but hey, I am probably uptight or something....

We used to try reasoning with them, Heroine, but it didn't work, so yes, we just ignore them now.

Perhaps you should marry him Heroine .

Why not text yourself to see what you think ?

Pefectly normal after all .

upsydaisy, make sure you delete your internet history.

hope you keep calm and strong. good luck

Oh don't be a fool. I have once woken up the day after a night out to hear my message to myself to see what my 'sexy voice' sounded like - are you going to 'prove' I have multiple personalities and was setting myself up to be able to convince myself that I was having a lesbian affair with myself?

and fyi many thousands of men join no stricgs attached dating websites and never act on any date at all - most never even get a single sensible or serious reply - mostly they are from bots that act like fake dates. It could similarly be a fanstasy thing similar to a girl going out on her hen night and being chatted up and snogged by blokes as a last pull back against commitment - honestly you lot should just chill the f out.

Ill need to ponder how a lesbian affair with yourself might work . Is it the same as wanking ?

LOL at Heroine admitting to sending herself sexy voice messages.

Sorry but I am really finding that quite funny.

Of course you are perfectly normal. You didn't send them from a different phone, did you, under the name 'SexyHeroine' though did you? Just want to be sure.

Porto-I wouldn't be happy either but then I would not being getting married or even considering starting a family witha man I didn't trust.

The op must of been happy enough to have embarked on these massive life changes.

She does not come across as being abused or railroaded by some vile sly man.

anyway how do you know so much about the behaviour of men using dating sites?

Thingumy, psychological abuse can be extremely subtle.

It might not be evident to anyone outside the relationship for a very long time, if ever.

What the OP is telling us now is the important thing. It doesn't matter how she got here. She's worried now and that is I'm sure you agree what we need to help her with.

no, but I might have done and it still wouldn't have been 'proof' of multiple personality disorder or weird constructed murder or rape alibis.. sorry but injecting humour won't take away from the fact that you lot sound sinister as hell

Perhaps we do, to you. You however sound a bit bonkers to us.

Shall we just agree to disagree?

No, the OP's DP is behaving in a sinister way. You're just diminising her anxieties and concerns. Are you going to tell her that she's short of a shilling too like KazBar? I think she started off like you

you lot sound sinister as hell

Did you reply to the message from yourself ?
If so , what did you say to yourself ?

I understand that ingrid but other than a possible lie about a dating site and two weird texts,the op has never mentioned anything mildly abusive about her partner.

She herself said she was happy and content with him and it was just 1% of him that she wasn't sure about.

None of us are perfect are we? Anyway I hope they sort this mess out.

You are building on and explioting her anxieties and concerns to fan them into a man-hating frenzy which is now at risk of destroying their marriage before it has started. Honestly look at yourselves..

bloody hell heroine you have a bigger imagination than anyone on here !!!!

Are you the Op's other half Heroine?

I can remember mine doing the same on here when I posted about our relationship.