Archers thread #147: Spring is sprung, the grass is riz, I wonder how old Ambridge is. Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Many thanks to @PseudoBadger for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you'd like to have the general public watching you work and asking questions, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Title comes from this poem, with which I drive my family to distraction at this time of year.

Spring is sprung, the grass is riz
I wonder where the birdies is.
The bird is on the wing.
But that’s absurd, the wing is on the bird.
Or so I’ve heard.

Ogden Nash

Apologies to @TeenDivided for ignoring her good ideas for the thread title. Here they are to kickstart our ruminations:
'window on the world of cheesemaking'
'how long until the intercom is fatal'
'will Brian settle in new pastures'
'Springing towards Easter with Widowers, Windows, and wails'

Over to you!

I didn't expect him this soon!!!

Poor Helen. I wonder how long she'll have to wait before he actually does appear.....

Going back to If she has to wait until she’s 25 for it, then by the time she inherits it won’t be enough to buy a basket of shopping from Susan’s shop!, the Trustees would be most remiss if they didn’t invest it, and over such a long term, it should keep pace with inflation.

Rylan vs Rob, that's what I'm hoping for.

A Eurovision standoff.

Excellent! I think in a Lee vs. Rob standoff, Rob would probably make Lee cry. But if that leads to Stabgate #2 and Helen goes to prison for real this time, it's all good.

It helen is a super selfish person

she needs a non mol order
and to hide the childrens passports

She needs to get on MN quick.....

Passports! Have they ever left the village?

As this is TA and not real life he will probably be back in Ambridge within the next 2 weeks.

I can't remember where he ran off to - has he served any time ?

Perhaps one of his parents has died hence his return - presumably only now interested in Jack ?

He went to the USA, didn't he? Michigan or somewhere?

Did Helen and Rob ever actually divorce? I can easily believe they never got round to signing the paperwork, what with being in prison, different countries etc.

I think they did divorce, yes.

She needs a solicitor PDQ. Rob still has full PR for Jack.

Oo let's hope he brings Ursula too!

God, I'd forgotten Ursula!

I dislike Helen but didn't enjoy hearing the distress in her voice.

I don’t think he can bring Ursula - the actor has died since she was last in the story. (IIRC.) So parental illness and death might be the reason for his return, @BeaLola.

Tbh I could do without any re-hashing of that melodrama. There’s enough misery in the world without Jack-snatching and subsequent weeping and wailing. Although it might be quite amusing to have him knock on the door of Blossom Hill Cottage.

Meanwhile I’m deeply relieved that Brad The Innocent survived a night out with The Ambridge Nemesis.

Helen's going to regret that dairy window, when Rob sinisterly looms up against the glass...

Hawking thread - how odd that I managed that. As you were.

All sounds good, @stilldumdedumming

Fascinating interjection, @stilldumdedumming !

(I consume ‘huge’ amounts of turmeric - regular component of my veg box.)

@TottersBlankly you are very lucky. But the international supermarket is amazing. And cheap- huge plump hands of turmeric for 70p! I still don't know how I managed to skip threads. My phone appears to be pretty trigger happy.
We are currently discussing kimchi on the other thread. Over £5 a tub in the coop!

Anyway as you were

I don’t think he can bring Ursula - the actor has died since she was last in the story. (IIRC.) So parental illness and death might be the reason for his return, @BeaLola.

Given the number of times they've recast characters, I don't think the actor's death would be an insuperable object to Rob turning up with her. But I agree they might use that as the reason for his return. I wonder if he'll be demanding to see Gideon?

Ah yes, Gideon....

I think we need a reminder of how it ended after Helen's trial for stabbing him.

Was Rob convicted of anything? Where did he go?