The Archers - What’s your poison? Alice is legless, the fish are lifeless and Pip is clueless (Discussion #85)

[DadDadDad]

Even if you don't have a leg(?), a life or a clue, Welcome to the first ever 85th Archers thread!

Wild speculation and sensible questions always welcome - especially any newcomers.

A little game for the weekend, inspired by Timetogetup0630 and Gruach on the last thread:

Invent an explanation for how your username was the inspiration for an Archers storyline, character, etc - be creative!

My username is telling the story of Toby, Adam and Ian, although it probably needs some punctuation: Dad! Dad/Dad?

dairyfarmerswife - bit too easy for you, but as professional country folk maybe you could judge the winner?

Credit to MrsGrindah for the clever thread title

I can talk some sense into you, anapple, if you really want me to. I find Philip quite interesting as well but I know without a shadow of a doubt he will be dodgy. I have a weakness for that type.

I was there! Conference. Very interesting talk on who would be the insurgents in an uprising in Ambridge. I own some Goats milk kefir, and Charlotte Martin suggested Susan has Autistic traits.

I too was there and wish it to be known that there is no further need in my life for either kefir or morris dancing.

Ebearhug

Well said Ruth. God I hate Pip. I was hoping they'd have a lethal car accident

I always listen on BBC iplayer so I can fast forward it in 20 second bursts when Pip and the Dopeys are on. Some episodes are very short. I won't miss anything and if there is a multiple lethal accident I'm sure you'll tell me.

What autistic traits Beka ?

Lack of empathy, mainly. She tries hard to connect with people through gossip but doesn't quite achieve intimacy because she will always be driven by her own agenda.

But she does rustle up a mean chilli.

Right. Is now the time for me to put kefir on my Ocado list?

(I too have no further need of Morris dancers in my life. Long story; long ago ...)

Beka open the Kefir VERY carefully. We didn't and managed to spray half the conference with our bottle.

We weren't fans. Milk with Alka Seltzer was my verdict. Although someone in the (very long) loo queue said it tasted better if you mixed it with pureed fruit.

The rest of the conference was good though!

I predict Ruth's reality check will push Pip into rekindling her romance with Toby and them co-habiting.

A-hah! I’ve been wondering what had become of Gurpreet Kaur Bhatti. Lovely two minutes of script-writerly chat here from 2014 (despite the interviewer) - but I see she has a new play on at Birmingham Rep.

Google provides no evidence of any Archers scripts by her later than the September of Helen’s trial. Does anyone know better?

(And I’m interested because I cannot imagine that any male writer would have to have reached her elevated status before being allowed to write for TA. And because I rather miss her episodes.)

Beka That's interesting about Charlotte Martin thinking that Susan maybe has autistic traits; I reckon she's more narc. but cares about her family. But of course she's the actress!!

The actress is also a research psychologist!

Ooops!

"Trust me Mum" says the vile Pip. Why would anybody trust her with her past record of lying. She's also a selfish bully, the way she goes on at her parents about how this new type of milking parlour is the only way to go.

I despair over the thread of her having an unplanned baby. No money saved up, how's she going to pay for it? Where is the money coming from? . She's hast got much in savings, how is she's going to pay her rent. Typical, she just decided she wants something and that's it. She has to have it regardless of the consequences, which she never considers. She's way too immature to have a baby. She will not be a good mum. And why should she expect her family to fill in to help out for because she's doesn't have a partner to share baby caring work. Just so Pip can have her toy (oops, I mean baby).

God I hate her and her selfishness

Vent over.

Blimey Saffy She's luckier than most thoughtless pregnant women she has no rent (i don't know if her parents pay her bills). They don't know her biggest lie yet, but she has worked very hard to make up for the losses the farm sufferered.

She's not that bad fgs.

I'm amazed it's taken so long to have the "who will look after Pup whilst Pip does farm work" discussion.

Actually, given that this is the Dopeys ...

Academic Archers on R4 now. Modelling counterinsurgency. Etc.

They don’t know her biggest lie yet - what is that ppeat? Didn’t she come completely clean about the IBR and confiding in Elizabeth?

Something tells me Pip isn't planning on moving out of Rickyard come Easter when they could normally expect to restart holiday lets.

Found the Academic Archers counter-insurgency bit on Youtube

m.youtube.com/watch?v=UnXYR_2kXqw

I bought M&S cherry keffir yesterday - far pleasanter than I expected, just a yogurt drink really, with no hint of alka-seltzer. I suspect real keffir to be different, and the supermarket versions to have as much in common with the real stuff as supermarket sourdough has with real sourdough.
But my decision to buy it was totally based on TA and Soosan's health claims.

I thought it tasted like a mix of bad wine and milk that's just on the wrong side of turning bad.

I thought it tasted like a mix of bad wine and milk that's just on the wrong side of turning bad.
I take it you won't be applying to be Tom's marketing manager any time soon then Ebear?

On the bottle it suggests mixing with banana or stevia. Going to try it tomorrow morning.

A tub of Truvia (based on stevia cost me £5 in Tesco this afternoon. FIVE POUNDS!