The Archers - What’s your poison? Alice is legless, the fish are lifeless and Pip is clueless (Discussion #85)

[DadDadDad]

Even if you don't have a leg(?), a life or a clue, Welcome to the first ever 85th Archers thread!

Wild speculation and sensible questions always welcome - especially any newcomers.

A little game for the weekend, inspired by Timetogetup0630 and Gruach on the last thread:

Invent an explanation for how your username was the inspiration for an Archers storyline, character, etc - be creative!

My username is telling the story of Toby, Adam and Ian, although it probably needs some punctuation: Dad! Dad/Dad?

dairyfarmerswife - bit too easy for you, but as professional country folk maybe you could judge the winner?

Credit to MrsGrindah for the clever thread title

And Haley could come back to manage the village children. ( not a gay group)

Harrison is lovely. He should leave Ambridge and get his own tv series, Midborset Murders or something.

Why on earth should Hayley come back? Surely there is no childcare needed in Ambridge. They've got Jill. And the after school cereal cupboard.

Surely they'll need a speech therapist to prevent them developing Silent Child Syndrome or SCS. Jack is already showing signs of this baffling affliction and it's not just the under sevens who have been struck dumb. George's middle class accent could have been an asset in raising the tone of the affordable housing development and seen off the riff-raff but he hasn't uttered a sound since he doped Will's pheasants with alcoholic raisins.

Ben and Rauiri are already experts in sign language but nobody's noticed.

Pip is such a twat. She really needs taking down a peg or two or five million

Well said Ruth. God I hate Pip. I was hoping they'd have a lethal car accident.

Yay Ruth!

And how lame is pip - she's so pathetic. Ruth hardly went in hard

Or they could pay for a childminder, like normal people with full-time jobs.

Nice to hear Pip getting a few home truths for once. I do actually feel a little bit sorry for pip, she's so naïve. She probably hadn't even thought about needing help with night feeds or what she'd do without all day baby sitting.

They have always pandered to her.

Did she really think her mum and dad were going to do nights with the baby? And her 87 year old granny would be looking after the baby all day?

Yes - because up to now they have rewarded her for doing farm stuff over and above anything else, and have gone into a massive sulk if she tries to do anything independent, like moving out or talking to her aunt about the pregnancy.

When Ruth said she'd almost hit her I almost assumed she meant in the last 12 months

No doubt pip will run off bitching about how howwible Ruth has been

I like the way Pip's egocentric ways came out via the design of the milking parlour, the one her middle-aged parents would be freezing their arses off in, the perfect segue into getting her to think about the tasing of her baby. Silly mare.

Well done Ruth. Very touching and convincing about the nearly hitting her.

:o TheAntiBoop

I thought it was great that Ruth gave her some home truths, but I also thought it was odd that Ruth only talked about how hard it was when she had Pip, yet again no mention of Josh or Ben.

"Tasing"???? Too blood close to tasering.:o

Good point about Josh and Ben, though his GCSE results, if good, may result in his being released from his cereal cupboard hell.

I got slightly hopeful at, "Pip, watch the road." But no. Damn.

Now I think Pip hit Matt 😂

Cart her off to prison please!

Maybe it really was more difficult with Pip as a baby than with Josh and Ben. Frankly, I'm amazed Ruth only wanted to hit her once, I want to slap her on a pretty regular basis.

There was one decent bit of acting from pip (never thought I'd type that)

Her last ditched attempt of 'but Toby will help' was delivered in a way that clearly showed she didn't believe it!

So, Academic Archers con today?

Hope those of you who are going will keep us updated with behind the scenes gossip. (I gather it's being live streamed but, y'know ...)

I’m going to have a peek at the livestream if I can find it. All I’ve found so far is some odd YouTube channel. Does anyone have a link?

Ps glad to hear Pip finally being given the truth. Besides anything else, I was getting fed up with the lazy writing that entailed Ruth starting to point out how ridiculous it was to plan to dump the bay be on an 87 year old, and Pip supposedly not hearing her.

Livestream is at www.youtube.com/channel/UC51mZcUjzfQiAUjs_Lk9cfA/live

First babies are often more difficult. Parents are more nervous.
By the time the third one comes along, you can just shove it in the cereal cupboard until it's old enough to go out cycling for months or years at a time.

If anyone's at the conference - it would be awfully nice if the livestream camera could move round so we could see the slides ...

I have got such a crush on Phillip, and have just played Thursday's podcast for a third time! Why can't I be Kirsty?

Please talk some sense into me. I am 46, and need to stop day dreaming, and get on with today's very significant list of chores......

That was a good scene in the car with Ruth and Pip, the actress really got her discomfort and disillusion (closeness to tears etc.) over.

So do we reckon that Annabelle is Justin's next squeeze? Talk about Machiavellian he's quite a shxx.