The Archers - What’s your poison? Alice is legless, the fish are lifeless and Pip is clueless (Discussion #85)

[DadDadDad]

Even if you don't have a leg(?), a life or a clue, Welcome to the first ever 85th Archers thread!

Wild speculation and sensible questions always welcome - especially any newcomers.

A little game for the weekend, inspired by Timetogetup0630 and Gruach on the last thread:

Invent an explanation for how your username was the inspiration for an Archers storyline, character, etc - be creative!

My username is telling the story of Toby, Adam and Ian, although it probably needs some punctuation: Dad! Dad/Dad?

dairyfarmerswife - bit too easy for you, but as professional country folk maybe you could judge the winner?

Credit to MrsGrindah for the clever thread title

Nah Bert. he'll be manager of Home Farm.

If all goes to plan, lan and Adam‘s child won‘t be related genetically to Lexi or her daughters. She‘s already stated she wants an egg donor. Lexi is a mere uterus on legs.

Ambridge is obviously a really healthy place to live as nobody much dies of disease as a younger person. We‘ve had the occasional accident like John - but l think you‘d have more accidental deaths. They have no motor bike accidents on a Sunday afternoon or boy racers on a Saturday night. We are near the A85 and A9 where sadly such accidents are fairly common. I

Jill can set up a crêche. She'll be looking after the Fairbaby* anyway.

*As long as they don't name it Grace.

True Beatrix And no falling off quad bikes into lakes! Or onto tree stumps.

I hope they don't dedd Neil. He's my secret Archer's crush for reasons I can't really explain, I like his voice and his dependability.

Neil is great.

The Ambridge childcare system again. Working from home and looking after a baby or small child? Easy. Pass him to Gran, Mum, Dad, half-uncle, cereal cupboard... or even Hayley.

I like Neil too but I find the idea of him and Susan difficult to understand.

Thanks, echt. It will have pride of place alongside, 'Keep Calm, Carry On Boozing'

Just catching up. Jolene has told Nic that she doesn't need her next week. She's told Toby he needs to do extra shifts because Nic can't do any shifts next week. That's a bit shitty. I can see that if she'd suspended Nick, she could be preserving her privacy by the lie to Toby. But I don't think she's said that to Nick, or told Nick she's sacking her. Just said she hasn't got any work for her. And I thought Jolene was one of the goodies.

Purely a plot device to make Toby 'too tired" to cover in the lambing shed . Bit shoddy because we all thought that J'lene was a pleasant type as you say.

Oh, ffs.

Poor Kirsty. Will she end up at the Feathers again.
Can't they bring back the real Tom Archer?

Strange how the words 'Will' and 'patio' seem to fit so well together.

If I were Nic ...

Remind me what happened to the Sausage kingdom.

They're out in the woods and they've probably got a lot of tools. Get on with it, Nic!

Will was unforgivable tonight. But do we want another abuse story line?

Awww...

I was all pleased for Kirsty and Phil

OMG!!!!

KIRSTY AND PHIL!!!

I now can't get the image of the Location Location Location pair out of my mind

I like Kirsty and Phil too! Both pairs.

No, we don't want another abuse storyline. This time, cut to the chase. Nic pushes Will down a convenient abandoned well in the woods and tells everyone he's moved to Aberdeen following another unexpected inheritance from Great Aunt Hilda's hitherto forgotten sister, Great Aunt Tilda. Job done.

Shula and Alistair wirst at Mr and Mrs. What a surprise!

Nic!! Take the bloody job.

Alice having an affair with Arran?

What are the Feathers and what is Kirsty’s connection to them?

Kirsty seemed scared rather than keen to kiss Philip.

Kirsty was tellling Philip quite personal stuff.

But sharing a single pair of binoculars????!!! Most keen birders I know carry their own binoculars, religiously!

Also, William Grundy is a total arse and Emma gave Nic an alternative, but Nic decided (on the spot) to be an arse too, but may well reconsider.

Both Joe Grundy and Neil Carter were set up for imminent death, last night, I found it rather gloomy.