The Cheese Queen needs to tread Caerphilly. Camembert the tension? Join The Archers thread and hope it gets Feta from here on.

[PseudoBadger]

Sorry but I couldn't resist an opportunity for puns galore

One direction mainly. But this skanky starbucks comes a close second

I've just had a three hour marathon session to finish Mad Men - I feel bereft.

Good god why would he eant damien Henry. He could have had Ethan.

But what I meant in previous thread is I don't think she is playing it very confused at the moment. The acting is seething with resentment and a bit of manipulation. She doesn't seem confused or in doubt anymore. I do know also from bitter experience that it takes a long time for the scales to fall from your eyes but what i was trying to get at was she seems to have 'woken up' very suddenly rather than going into the is it him no its probably my fault stage. Although I do agree that other people's opinions are causing her doubt. And possibly shame is what is keeping her there.

You don't want to admit that kind of treatment to yourself let alone anyone else. Its true

Carol's flaky friend was Virginia McKenna! Did everyone know that but me?

It was revealed towards the end of the last thread, Bertrand, but yes, nobody else seemed all that stunned. I was. As somebody either here or on the BBC blog said, is it no longer possible to get a part in TA without being either very famous already or closely related to someone very famous?

DDD, if the cheese puns continue, this thread will be toasted.

Help me! I eventually gave up on my relationship with the Archers after a long internal struggle but I just looked at the last thread for old times' sake and I know I'm going to be sucked back in by the Helen/Rob storyline (it's what kept us together for so long after the love had gone). But I've missed so much! Are they really married now? And a rape, really? And why is he running Bridge Farm?
Would anyone mind doing a wee recap for me?
Love the cheesy title! I've missed these threads.

Recap: Hel got increasingly starry eyed. They went to Isle of Wight for a holiday without Henry and came back married. Any cringy remarks from Hel about marital.bliss.
Henry has started school but is not settling well.
Pat and Tony have retired

Rob gave up his job at Berriw after it emerged there were issues with the records relating to cows.
He was homophobic about Charlie.
Pat and Tony were a bit shocked about marriage but now seem to like Rob. Tom.still has his doubts
Since leaving Berrow Rob has had nothing to do but interfere in shop. Sometimes at Hellins insistence and sometimes his own. He wangled himself into being project manager for the fit out of the new farm shop in the former milk parlour. This is H and Toms project now Pat and Tony have retired.

A couple of weeks ago Rob organised a night in without Henry who was staying with Pat. After a Romantic evening there were some ambiguous but sinister sound effects and then Hel was in floods if tears in the morning and has decidedly cooled towards Rob since. He referred to how he 'got carried away'.

Rob has also mentioned babies. Hel was not wild keen.

H has had a couple of tries at saying something to someone else but hasn't yet.

Oh and Peggoi gave them ten grand. Rob appears to be planning to live off that rather than get a job.

It's going to be hard for Helen but she'll need to be a Roquefort Henry's sake.

How do we interpret Helen's rush to the loo? Does morning sickness strike that early in a pregnancy? Or was her stomach turning that Rob might sidestep adoption and have parental responsibility in a few weeks?

Both, I should think!

I think it's the eating disorder coming back again.

I hope it's the eating disorder coming back and not pregnancy as I hate the way pregnancy is always the same in the world of fiction (we don't all race off to the loo to puke so dramatically)

Eating disorder will give rob more ability to take over decision making so the pr thing could be bad. 'But darling, I thought shipping Henry off to a boarding school in Siberia was what we wanted'

Kirsty is coming back and she will sort Helen out.

Even though I'm longing for Kirsty's return I'm wondering how they're going to make me believe that, with an entire world of choice, the one place she wants to work is an obscure midlands village where every single person remembers the extreme humiliation she recently suffered there.

Surely they could have come up with something more happenstance-y? (Like poor, forgotten Doc Delish.)

And does working in a bar and a deli really qualify one to run a health club?

Is Helen crafty enough to make Rob think she's pregnant to prevent a repeat of the 'romantic' evening?

Agree grauch. Kirsty's return is totally implausible for me. And if they dare to get her back with newtom I may have to stop listening

Well there's no other reason to bring her back.

And I can't forget SOC's musing on "really testing their relationship" because the inheritance of Bridge Farm is such a massively important thing.

• So that will be another secret, out of village wedding. Poor Pat and Tony - they'll have to wait for Johnny before they ever get to enjoy a family do.

Yes, Kirsty will meet up with Hellin and be horrified that she has morphed into surrendered wife.

She will need to discuss this so will meet up with NewTom...

Knob will hate Kirsty's influence with Hellin and will try to sabotage their rekindled friendship.

But Kirsty will be the one to bring him down and ensure he gets his just deserts.

And it will be the Best Christmas Ever

Thanks Gruach It's me early bedtime and watching the box in the pm and I try not to read the thread until AFTER I've L.A. !!!!

Thanks for the new thread Psuedo fgs 44 posts already .

Hooray for Eddie and Anneka!! Two fingers to Justin Elliot He can put his money where the sun don't shine !!!!

Oh dear Helen why didn't you take a morning after pill? Maybe she'll have a secret abortion?

Oh dear Helen why didn't you take a morning after pill?

Because there is no pharmacy in Ambridge and for some reason Rob let her have a lie-in while he took the car to fetch Henry and stayed chatting at Bridge Farm. Remember the frantic phone calls while he tried to track her movements?

Well it still works 2 or 3 days afterwards (oh god Iam over infested).

Does it? I thought that it was a shorter window than that.
But he is always there. She can't escape him these days - even on the school run!

Said it before and I'll say it again - Helen will not submit to hosting spawn of Titchner. It will be a classic EE sneak off to the "clinic" with a fistful of cash (because that's obviously what happens in RL) and Rob racing against time to find her and stop her.

Tell you what Carol's potions would come in handy. I study herbals and there's a fair number that that need to be avoided in early pregnancy