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How to muffle toilet noises?

138 replies

WhoStoleMyTiddyOggy · 28/03/2023 20:22

Our bathroom is straight off the landing. When we re-did it the wrong toilet was delivered, but because one of our dc was in hospital at the time we let it go and the loo was fitted. It's a 'comfort' pan, meaning it's higher than normal for elderly people to sit on it easier. It also has no shelf inside. We've since found out that anyone doing a no.2 results in a thunderous splash as it's a long drop. This is VERY audible from the landing which our teen dc are horrified about. Replacing the loo is not an option at this point. I was wondering if I made a heavy lined floor length curtain for outside the bathroom door, do you think that would muffle the noise a bit & give more privacy? I'm imagining something like our gran would've had over the front door back-in-the-day?

Any other ideas welcome.

OP posts:
Findyourneutralspace · 28/03/2023 20:24

I think a poo curtain would be equally mortifying. ‘Ey up, dad’s pulled the curtain….’ 👀

Just put a bit of loo roll down before you do the business?

Maireas · 28/03/2023 20:25

Just before you go, flush the toilet. The flushing covers the sound.

Seeleyboo · 28/03/2023 20:25

Line the loo with paper before you poop

Mixedin · 28/03/2023 20:26

Findyourneutralspace · 28/03/2023 20:24

I think a poo curtain would be equally mortifying. ‘Ey up, dad’s pulled the curtain….’ 👀

Just put a bit of loo roll down before you do the business?

Poo curtain 🤣👏🏻

PinkLemonadee · 28/03/2023 20:26

Maireas · 28/03/2023 20:25

Just before you go, flush the toilet. The flushing covers the sound.

What a waste of water though!

Couple of sheets of loo roll stops the splash.

Maireas · 28/03/2023 20:27

PinkLemonadee · 28/03/2023 20:26

What a waste of water though!

Couple of sheets of loo roll stops the splash.

What a waste of loo roll, though!

onepieceoflollipop · 28/03/2023 20:29

Music? I hear this is popular in Japan.
perhaps play music randomly through the day so it doesn’t become a “poo announcement”

Mark19735 · 28/03/2023 20:29

Decent door. Fire door spec. Draught excluder across the bottom.

rewilded · 28/03/2023 20:33

Brilliant! Thread of the day. Post of the day goes to...@Findyourneutralspace 😂

WilsonMilson · 28/03/2023 20:39

Firstly the noisy plops and secondly the poo curtain have both got me in knots. Sorry op, but that’s bloody hilarious.

Why don’t they just play loud music on their phones to drown out the noises, or flush as someone suggested, or run the tap. Using loo roll lining also might help.
I’d suggest an excluder for outside the door, but that’s just a trip hazard.

Maybe you could just make it more funny rather than mortifying. Maybe create a pooing playlist.

PinkLemonadee · 28/03/2023 20:39

Maireas · 28/03/2023 20:27

What a waste of loo roll, though!

Clean water is more precious than a sheet of toilet roll.

Maireas · 28/03/2023 20:41

PinkLemonadee · 28/03/2023 20:39

Clean water is more precious than a sheet of toilet roll.

You're not putting down one sheet though, let's be honest.
Probably a fair bit. Wasteful.

WilsonMilson · 28/03/2023 20:41

Findyourneutralspace · 28/03/2023 20:24

I think a poo curtain would be equally mortifying. ‘Ey up, dad’s pulled the curtain….’ 👀

Just put a bit of loo roll down before you do the business?

Can we make ‘poo curtain‘ the new ‘penis beaker’? Grin

Mifflesniffle · 28/03/2023 20:43

Find a designated poo glove. Catch the poo upon exit and place gently into the bowl. No splash!

YouveGotToGrooveIt · 28/03/2023 20:43

I mean, you can do like we do and ask Alexa to "play Rock FM" just before we go Grin

Bobbybobbins · 28/03/2023 20:43

I want a poo curtain! 😆

TinaYouFatLard · 28/03/2023 20:44

Sounds preferable to it skidding along the pan on its journey downstream.

SpicyMoth · 28/03/2023 20:44

Never did I think I would read "Catch the poo" But I'm so glad I did tbh :')

rewilded · 28/03/2023 20:46

Anyone else see Sean Bean pulling the curtain?

AxolotlEars · 28/03/2023 20:46

sing...loudly!

HealthyFats · 28/03/2023 20:47

When I got married we hired a loo block and were offered a choice of music to be playing in there at all times. When we said that we would prefer no music in the loos, the guy explained that you had to have music, otherwise people lined the loos with paper so much that it completely overwhelmed the basic plumbing. With music people still lined the loos but it was bearable for the pipes.

Not much help to you, OP, but it's what your post reminded me of. Sonos in the loo and play "Under Pressure" and "Push It" on full blast when anyone's in there?

Findyourneutralspace · 28/03/2023 20:49

@YouveGotToGrooveIt i think you’re local to me judging by your radio station.

I’m dying to know what goes on the poo playlist. Any suggestions?

Gazelda · 28/03/2023 20:50

Poo fabric

Gazelda · 28/03/2023 20:51

Oh. The pic didn't attach. How random!

PinkLemonadee · 28/03/2023 20:54

Maireas · 28/03/2023 20:41

You're not putting down one sheet though, let's be honest.
Probably a fair bit. Wasteful.

Would you like a pic next time I go to the lav so you can check? 🙄 I know what I'm using.