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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

prep school have withdrawn my son's place in year 2

154 replies

rosaura · 19/02/2015 17:00

i am in complete schock. we have been invited to move our son's from his prep school because he does not reach their academic standards!!! i have been in shock for 2 days... my son is only 6 and in year 2. they sad that they do not have the staff to support him next year to reach the standards set by the school. has anybody got any suggestions or similar experiences you can share? how can a school reject a child at 6?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

DustyGold · 19/02/2015 17:10

I would be angry I think and also feel that the school was crap and be looking elsewhere.
Clearly this school likes academic little robots in a box.
Good luck finding a kinder more inclusive school.

mummytime · 19/02/2015 17:11

It sounds a bit harsh. Have they given you any hints before?

I would try to get him into a good State school (can be easier in year 3 because the class size rules are less strict).
What do they have problems with? Ability? Speech? Behaviour?

DustyGold · 19/02/2015 17:13

Agree with mummytime at checking out/ visiting local state schools.

DancingDinosaur · 19/02/2015 17:15

Have you been invited to remove him or have they told you to?

DustyGold · 19/02/2015 17:17

I presume you pay a lot of money for such a rubbish service.
Obviously they are only capable/ willing to educate within a narrow range.
I feel angry on your behalf rosura.

Bowlersarm · 19/02/2015 17:20

Yes, I do know a few people whose sons have been asked to leave at the end of pre-prep/Year 2.

Sorry it's happened to you OP.

Bluepants · 19/02/2015 17:24

I wouldn't want my child to be in a school where they didn't want him/her. Look around at all other options - both private and state and ask all of them are they able to help your ds who has presumably fallen a bit behind in Y2 (or perhaps not behind, just not to the standard they want).

Some private schools are not set up to give much extra help. Others are, it varies, so ask them directly. State schools generally have a bigger SEN budget but sometimes if your dc is in a class of 30 and there are say 5 or more considered "worse" then your DS may not get any help. My friend's DS is in this position - needs extra help but there are 5 in his class needing the help more than him so he doesn't get it. Again, ask for that specific year group what they could do to help your DS.

But above all, don't worry. He is only 6.

CharlesRyder · 19/02/2015 17:28

That is a really horrible thing to have happen. I feel for you OP Did you know of it happening to other families or was it completely out of the blue? A relative of mine live on a knife edge because she know this happens at her prep and isn't sure one of her DC is in the clear.

I would look for a more inclusive, family orientated school. It doesn't mean your DS will not be a complete success further down the line. Selection at this age is quite bonkers.

DustyGold · 19/02/2015 17:31

I am not familiar with the private system but feel it is a fault of the school not a problem with your little boy.
Please look for a kinder school; how awful to be on the sort of knife edge CharlesRyder describes.

Lorelei353 · 19/02/2015 17:41

Agreed Dusty The school have failed to teach him in a way that allowed him to meet standards. Best rid of that school. Consider this a lucky escape.

Killasandra · 19/02/2015 17:43

Unfortunately this is a real danger with private schools.

They do this to many children, that is how they get such good grades.

You're not at all alone.

MrsCampbellBlack · 19/02/2015 17:45

Did the school discuss this at all as a possibility when you joined? For example, when my children started in the nursery class it is made very clear that this does not guarantee them a place at the senior school.

I think a lot of private schools are becoming increasingly selective and some which go through to senior seem to be 'weeding' out children earlier and earlier.

Have they said they think your child has additional needs at all? I would have expected this to be the final conversation after many previous ones to be honest. If this has come as a total bolt out of the blue then that is really very poor of the school.

And to be honest any school that didn't want my child - well, I wouldn't want my child to go there.

DustyGold · 19/02/2015 17:48

Have you any plans Rosura?
Guess half term for you too at the moment.
Any other options?

3littlefrogs · 19/02/2015 17:48

He is only 6.
He will probably be perfectly happy in an ordinary state primary school.
Have you looked at your local schools?

The prep school sounds horrid IMO.

Original poster

rosaura · 19/02/2015 17:52

Hi mrscampbellblack no they have not said that when my ds started nursery there and they have not suggested he has special needs but they said he is not interested and unless he likes something he is very difficult to engage. And don't get me wrong I know that he is stubborn and hard work but it seems very harsh... Now that I hear this is prep school normal practise I should indeed take it as a blessing and move my da to a school where he can be motivated and engaged!!

OP posts:

DustyGold · 19/02/2015 17:55

Ahh sounds like a lazy school rosura.
Turn the difficult to engage thing round; maybe they don't have the skills or enthusiasm to engage your son.
Good luck and goodbye to the pooey prep that can't educate....
[sorry, being childish I know...]...

mummytime · 19/02/2015 17:55

It is often said in very subtle ways, usually in terms of "if it isn't the right school for your child..." Or "if our school cannot meet a child's needs..." or "there is a mismatch between a child and our school...".
Which if you don't know the code can be over looked.

Sometimes they don't say this unless asked by a parent.

MrsCampbellBlack · 19/02/2015 17:57

I don't think it is normal to be honest. I have known children where it has been made clear that they won't be able to go onto senior school but there have been conversations for years between school and parents.

I think you've had a lucky escape to be honest - good luck in finding a nicer school - assuming they've given you to the end of this school year to find one.

I would though ask for a meeting for further clarification of the issues.

RandomMess · 19/02/2015 17:58

I was outraged when my then local independent school introduced this policy - no allowances for young in year boys etc. can't bear that dc are written off academically at 6/7 years old!!!

All the best at finding him a school that suits him

wandymum · 19/02/2015 18:01

Sorry to hear this OP. It does seem to be getting more common in the prep schools near me anyway. As someone else has said though, when it has happened at our school the school have always blamed either serious behavioural issues or an SEN they couldn't cater for.

Seems very fishy to me though that it always seems to happen at the end of yr 2, just when the pre-prep only schools finish and there are lots of parents looking around for yr 3 spots.

Have they given you much notice? In some areas finding an in-year place can take quite a while.

AllYourBase · 19/02/2015 18:10

I think most selective schools will do this, but they're usually fairly open about it. Have they been telling you in his reports and at parents' evenings that he isn't keeping up? Or has this been out of the blue?

campaignsandgrey · 19/02/2015 18:16

So sorry to hear that, rosaura. It must be very upsetting to be told that your son has not met his school's academic standard and thus has to leave.

This is the reality though, especially if the school is non-selective at 4+ entry - they can't tell if a child has the ability and potential to keep up with their academic standard. Most decent private schools have a higher standard set than state primaries with transfer exams in mind (Common Entrance etc) and traditionally private schools really outperform state primaries. Hence bitter as it may seem IMO (I may get shot for this) private education is not for every one.

wandymum · 19/02/2015 18:23

Also, I know you probably don't want to have to deal with the school ever again (understandably), but it is worth asking them whether they are able to help you find a place more suited to your DS.

Stress that this is their failing not your son's. They should have been able to 'engage' him and if they haven't then they've let him down.

Prep schools are so reliant on their reputations that they will be keen to do anything they can to keep a lid on things so you should be able to pressurise them to provide the most positive report on him possible and put in a good word with local registrars etc... IF you decide to stick in the private sector.

mummytime · 19/02/2015 18:35

Amazing really how many children transfer from state schools to private every year...
But even "selective at 4" private schools do "encourage out" pupils who don't fit.

Original poster

rosaura · 19/02/2015 19:30

Mummytime you are right that's how they have spoken to us. And they have been calling other school themselves to check for places so it's either they want to get rid of us asap or they are trying to help.... They have given us time to the end of the year fortunately. Thank you all for your comments it has really helped me to understand the system much better.

OP posts:

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