prep school have withdrawn my son's place in year 2

[rosaura]

i am in complete schock. we have been invited to move our son's from his prep school because he does not reach their academic standards!!! i have been in shock for 2 days... my son is only 6 and in year 2. they sad that they do not have the staff to support him next year to reach the standards set by the school. has anybody got any suggestions or similar experiences you can share? how can a school reject a child at 6?

[ShipwreckedAndComatose]

I actually do hope there is more to this than meets the eye. Otherwise, I cannot get over the irony of a fee paying school, that is providing a service for pupils and parents, actually advising parents to get tutors at such a young age

And the idea that the report indicates ops son is above average ability with no special needs yet they blame the child and not their own provision.

It's appalling.

[Ohmygrood]

State primaries do move kids on. There's a primary near to me which is well known for 'managing' kids out to maintain their position at the top of the league tables.

[MrsCampbellBlack]

I don't think it is just about letting the side down. It is a pretty miserable place to be if you are struggling with everything. And your child won't necessarily be getting the best education they could.

Our school will suggest other schools - either non-selective or a specialist school that could help with some specific additional needs.

Sometimes I have observed that some parents don't realise when the school is laying down some pretty big hints that the school isn't suitable.

But unless schools do selection at age 3 which is just madness in my opinion - it is quite hard to manage which children may do better in a different environment.

[SuburbanRhonda]

How do they do that, omygrood?

State schools have to jump through more hoops than you can shake a stick at to permanently exclude a pupil.

[catontherun]

I'm afraid that it is possibly a case of you may have not been putting 2 and 2 together and reaching your own decision about the lack of a future for your son at the school and this is why the school have gone on to tell you outright.

There was a child at my dcs' primary school who had problems maintaining concentration for any length of time, always off at a tangent/ getting into mischief and requiring a great deal of teacher/ta time. It was clear right from reception class but the parent would not agree to consider any form of formal assessment and the situation went unresolved with each class teacher, having done their best and worked hard with them, heaving a sigh of relief as the child moved up a class each summer. Child was pretty much average for their age group, nowhere near the bottom academically and met the KS2 targets with a bit of extra help, like many in the class, in the run up to the tests. Child was very hard work on playdates too, not many parents hosted the child more than once.

The child managed 2 terms at secondary school before utter misery set in followed by bullying. The parent had done them no favours in not acknowledging the true situation throughout primary school.

Prep schools which is where your son would be headed if he stayed with his cohort (I think at 6 he'd actually be classed as being in pre-prep) do focus on preparing the dc for the entrance exams for various schools for entry at 11-13. Schools can vary a great deal in their intake and attitude to learning, pastoral care etc, you just need to take on board what the school have been alerting you to and look for a more appropriate school as they're pretty much saying they won't be offering any extra help and it seems mad to pay once for private education and then again for a tutor.

[SuburbanRhonda]

I disagree, mrscampbellblack.

The OP said she was told her child wouldn't meet the standards set by the school. What else would this be other than their exam results? So if they have one child who - at age 6 - needs support with certain aspects of his learning, they won't want him because they're worried his results will pull down the average.

As PP have said, the school will dress it up as it not being suitable for the child, and may also help to find another school - how kind! - but in the end we all know what they're really saying.

[MrsHathaway]

The relationship between a private school and the family is completely different from that between a state school and the family.

For a start, it's an organisation providing a service under contract and for a fee. In the terms and conditions of accepting the child, there will be a list of reasons and procedures for terminating that contract (eg non-payment of fees). If the school has written its contracts/Ts&Cs right, it can simply terminate the contract with the required notice.

It's considerably more complicated if the school wishes to dump one child and keep its sibling(s).

Anyway, the school is providing a service but has no legal responsibility for the provision of that service once the child has left.

The LA on the other hand has a responsibility to provide education for the child until/unless the parent actively opts out (chooses a private school or home education). That means that it will instruct its schools to hold on to pupils as long as they can, to avoid having to relocate them.

[Buttwing]

This hPpened to a friend of mine with both her boys. It's really awful but unfortunately reasonably common. The problem she had was trying to get them into a state school. The area where we live is massively over subscribed she was so lucky that a prep in the area was turning into an academy which meant there was a mad dash to get kids from state schools in. This left a few free spaces and she managed to get both her boys in.

It's the schools loss and obviously not a very nice place to be

[Opopanax]

SuburbanRhonda, there's a state primary school near me that does this a lot too. They don't exclude pupils. What happens is that the head talks to the parents and repeatedly suggests that their son/daughter might be happier elsewhere. A friend of mine has personal experience of this (she stuck it out, things improved for her son and he's still there but a less confident woman might easily have felt very unwelcome and moved).

[MrsCampbellBlack]

We don't know what the school actually said though suburban. As I've said - based on experiences I have observed in RL this only happens where there are behavioural issues or significant additional needs. It is pretty unusual at such a young age.

And the private tutoring comments seems very odd to me. At most preps you can get get additional 1:1 which is chargeable but it is done through the school in the course of the day. I am surprised to hear of any prep saying that the majority of 5 year olds have private tuition.

Of course the school may just be awful - I don't know. But in the case of schools I know - well ultimately they are selective so yes, some children aren't going to be suitable. But that should be made very clear to all parents when signing that initial contract.

[Isithappening]

The thing about tutoring makes me think the school can't be doing a very good job of teaching. My sons prep schools constantly advises against tutoring as they find that tutors often have different ways of teaching and confuse the children. They do of course continue teaching children who have tutors but they advise parents against going down this route (and the school has excellent results for entry to selective senior schools).

In the OPs schools defence though , it does seem like they have flagged up potential problems and had assessments done (at OPs expense). It is very difficult to keep a child in a heavily academically focused and prep environment if the child is constantly distracted and uninterested. It isn't the right environment for a child who perhaps needs a different style of learning. It also is likely to lead to complaints from other fee paying parents whose children are constantly being disrupted by OPs child. As harsh as it is, the school will not want to keep a child if they are getting daily complaints from other parents about disruption to their children's learning (this might not be the case with OP).

If you are paying for an education at a school where tutoring is required on top of school fees then see it as a lucky break that they have suggested you look elsewhere.

[Sunflower123456]

It seems most private schools have a clause that they can easily expel children not meeting their academic standards. These schools only care for their reputations, and not for the children's welfare. If only there is a web site to name and shame them, so they would think twice before doing such acts.

The problem with private schools is that they entice parents with amazingly good results, but they are above the law once you've sent your kids there. Their complaints procedure is not worth the paper it's written on, and there's nothing you can do about it.

I am sure private schools are no better than state schools if there's no selection, rejection, and additional private tuition.

[MarshaBrady]

I would prefer selection to any of this. If the school want to maintain results then they can work out a way to get the dc they want.

It's such a big thing to leave at year 6 or whenever with your friends.

[MarshaBrady]

Abnd that's before you get to the nightmare of finding a school in London out of intake years.

[SunnyBaudelaire]

"There's a primary near to me which is well known for 'managing' kids out to maintain their position at the top of the league tables."
I do not think that is possible surely?

[MrsCampbellBlack]

Problem is though marsha - it is very hard to accurately assess a 4 or 5 year old. I know my eldest has come on in leaps and bounds since then.

[MarshaBrady]

Dc can definitely improve or respond well to the right environment and shoot off in a good direction. I think then I favour selection at various ages.

I am used to selection process at three, even, and four for reception in Dulwich. I thought it was full on but I think my dc would feel awful if they had to leave.

I do know in some cases things are flagged, but they do manage it as well as they can. Usually to specialist school - eg dyslexia.

[CharlesRyder]

No, I'm not suggesting that primary schools can move pupils on easily. I'm just countering the view that all state primary schools are meccas of inclusivity and every child in one is getting what they need.

[LittleFluffyMoo]

An academic private prep school near me is well known for asking children who don't keep up to leave without much notice, especially if they have or they suspect that they have special needs (we're talking everything from mild dyslexia on). I know the OP's DC doesn't have special needs, but either way it's traumatic for the families involved and really shouldn't happen if they've taken on the responsibility of educating that child.

Mine have special needs but are in a state school and flying academically. We possibly could afford an independent school at a pinch, but I've decided I don't want to put them in that kind of environment. They can meet the kids from the Indies when they all go to Cambridge together

[SuburbanRhonda]

I'm just countering the view that all state primary schools are meccas of inclusivity and every child in one is getting what they need.

I don't think anyone actually said this, but what is the case in state primary schools is that they cannot exclude a pupil with providing shedloads of evidence to show what they have already tried to do to address the issue.

[LadySybilLikesSloeGin]

Ds was asked to leave his prep school. He's very bright but dyspraxic and needs support with social skills, the teachers didn't get him and would tell him off because he didn't know how to play. He's at a great school now though so please have hope. I'm so sorry this has happened to you and your son

[DeeWe]

I shall enjoy telling my ds' teacher next parents evening that it is her fault if she doesn't engage him.
Means she'll have to tailor the whole syllabus round his big interests of WWII and planes to keep him listening, but I'm sure the rest of the class won't mind.

[DustyGold]

But DeWe sounds like school your ds attends not using difficulty engaging to chuck him out....
Think this thread just confirms to me that should take little notice of private schools showing off about results, due to their inadequacy in teaching those that don't fit into their mould.
Not just private, but any school that won't include those that need more support due to behaviour or special educational need.
Pretty poor show.....

[Michaelahpurple]

I don't know how state schools do it but have also been told it happens. A friend of mine's children went to a very highly rated state primary in Sheen, west London, and she noted that all the academically weakest children gradually disappeared over years 1-4. Does wonders for the year 6 results.