prep school have withdrawn my son's place in year 2

[rosaura]

i am in complete schock. we have been invited to move our son's from his prep school because he does not reach their academic standards!!! i have been in shock for 2 days... my son is only 6 and in year 2. they sad that they do not have the staff to support him next year to reach the standards set by the school. has anybody got any suggestions or similar experiences you can share? how can a school reject a child at 6?

[MillyMollyMama]

There are decent prep schools out there who welcome everyone. My DD went to the oldest girls boarding prep in the country where loads of girls get scholarships to senior schools. She was academically ok, but the school had a no selection policy. Everyone was welcome as long as there were places. No-one was asked to leave because they didn't fit into the top tier academically. I think serious behaviour issues could have been different, but academically, everyone was welcome. It is possible to run a highly successful school and have lower achievers. Also, if the teachers have failed to engage him, their lessons are obviously poor and in dire need of an overhaul. They are admitting to poor teaching and learning. You do need to find somewhere stimulating and engaging with outstanding teaching!

[MyOneandYoni]

Oh, Pagwatch don't worry - I have connections to private schools too. But they don't have to consider every child. That's their usp. OP and her son are a victim of this system, whereas other children will be the winners. The system isn't designed to include every child. That's just how it is.
OP - I hope you find a wonderful school for your child where he can thrive as you know he will. Whether it is state, private, free or academy, I don't know, I just hope it does it's job better than this heartless one has done.

[MrsCampbellBlack]

at Pagwatch.

Reading between the lines it does sound as though there have been several conversations with the OP about the school not being suitable. I do think though that just based on what OP posted it is unusual to ask a yr 2 child to leave for those reasons. I would definitely be interrogating the school further as to why exactly they feel the school isn't suitable.

But really all private schools are not like this but if they are selective then there is going to be a minimum standard that children have to meet.

You just need to find the right school for your child and it sounds as though the current school are trying to help with this process.

[MrsTawdry]

I removed my DD from prep at the end of year 2 and sent her to an outstanding state and she has BOOMED. In all ways. Socially and academically she's really surpassed all expectation. She sometimes harks back to her prep days as though it was Doetheboys Hall....remembers how joyless and hard it was.

[MrsCampbellBlack]

Myone - you are totally right that a lot of private schools don't have to consider every child.

As with many schools they are judged by a lot of parents purely on exam results and the universities the leavers go to.

[MarshaBrady]

This doesn't sound right or normal at all. I know many that use good private schools in London and the process around being asked to go elsewhere is long and over time.

Extra help is offered first.

[MarshaBrady]

Tbh it doesn't sound like a great school. Thinking about dc at my ds' school, it wouldn't happen there without a managed and realistic process.

[MrsCampbellBlack]

Yes, I agree with Marsha. Generally what happens at our school is you're told from yr 3/4 onwards that the senior schools isn't going to be suitable for your child for whatever reason. This then gives you plenty of time to look at other options.

The only time I've seen someone leave earlier was when there were serious behavioural issues that the school wasn't equipped to deal with.

I thought most prep schools could and did provide 1:1's if necessary - of course all at extra cost to the parents rather than just suggesting a private tutor.

[julieh1]

Yes, agree that this would only happen at our school after serious issues and with lots of notice.

When they say he is 'difficult to engage' could this be their way of saying he is running rampage around the classroom rather than participating in lessons?

In the cases I've known of children being 'encouraged' out it has been because their behaviour has been disruptive to the class as a whole.

[Pagwatch]

It really does depend on the individual school and the process should be well thought out and as supportive of the child and parents as possible.
I don't know of any decent school of any type that would trot out 'most parents also use private tutors'. What an awful admission of incompetence!

At my DDs school a couple of children have left during prep. The school were fully involved through the whole process and each child had extra support for at least a year before both parents and the school agreed the school was no longer the best environment for that particular child.

The school do not seem to have handled this well at all.
I think I would consider myself well out of there.

Apropos nothing really, the worst, most incompetent and appallingly piss poor member of school staff I have ever met was the head of SEN at a prep school in Surrey.
A crap school would just want to get rid of any child who didn't fit.

[Bakeoffcake]

I wouldn't want my dc at a school which encourages a private tutor for 5/6 year olds. That is insane nonsense.

You and your DS had a lucky escape. Look upon this as a positive thing and find your DS a more suitable place to learn.

[Pagwatch]

No worries MyOneandYoni.

I just know of at least three parents as well as me who chose private schools because the huge array of in school activities, long days and flexibility for things like flexi boarding allow their child a much broader life experience that otherwise available with a sibling at home with profound disabilities. It's a bit galling to be accused of avoiding riffraff when half the world thinks our other kids are the riff raff.

[TheWordFactory]

The majority of prep schools don't do this ( for a start they need bums on seats).

And the majority of prep schools don't encourage the use of outside tutors.

You've hit a bad one.

That said, it sounds as if the school have been flagging up some issues to you that need addressing whichever sector your DS goes into ( don't assume all state schools are great at engaging pupils, they're not ).

[MrsCampbellBlack]

Ah yes flexiboarding - the holy grail when no family around to do overnighters for 3 dc's. Counts down until youngest is old enough to use it

[MarshaBrady]

yes, most schools will say no need for tutors. Ours does.

Although one part of it is for the schools I know is the selection process at the beginning - which is a way to limit this type of thing (ok a different can of worms). It's not great PR if prospective parents realise their dc could be asked to leave in a way that results in shock.

Usually it's - we'll work together over this time period etc to make sure your dc can access the curriculum. And if not.. then we'll talk about another place where they will be able to access it etc

Once you're in they usually put in a lot of effort to bring everyone up to a standard. By 1:1 if need be, and they will have the staff in place for that.

The thought of a school who feels that it's ok to say we are open to everyone then weed out as they go along, I'd be very hmm at that.

[Bonsoir]

Every year in my DD's school the headmistress has to tell some parents that she won't be able to keep their child because he/she cannot keep up. The school teaches to quite a wide range of abilities and there is one very small (12-15) class in each year group for DC who require extra attention, so being asked to remove a DC isn't a sign of failure on the part of the school IMO. Some DC just require a less enriched/demanding curriculum in order to consolidate the essentials. Be grateful that the school doesn't hold on to DC whose needs it cannot meet.

[OddBoots]

It depends on your criteria for failure.

I don't think it is a failure for a school not to be able to get 100% of their students the very top grade but I do think a school is failing if they prioritise their results over the education of each child to the best of their own ability.

[CharlesRyder]

This is what I hate about the private school system, they dint give a shit about the children, only their results.
Results before the welfare of the child...
These poor kids in these flipping exam factories

Sadly this quite accurately describes many state primaries these days.

[Bonsoir]

At my DD's school there are no exam results (French primary). It doesn't mean DC cannot fail to keep up and it doesn't mean the school is failing a DC if it suggests they should be elsewhere.

[MarshaBrady]

This is making me appreciate the selection process before an offer.

Changing schools out of sync in London is a nightmare. Another private might take the dc, if there's a space, but state - much more difficult.

[Bonsoir]

The state schools are mostly half-empty in Paris... Private schools have classes of up to 38 DC (in primary) they are so popular...

[MmeMorrible]

Having had both DC in private prep (one now moved on as in Y7, the other still there in Y3) I'm shocked at the attitude of this school. It is absolutely their job to engage your DS and put in place a plan and the resources he needs to succeed.

I have never known a child at my DCs school be asked to leave in this way and it would definitely taint my opinion of the school if I heard something like this. Also shocked that they are telling you that most children in Y2 already have tutors - why the hell do they need tutors, isn't education what you're paying the school to provide? Fair enough if you decide to tutor for secondary school entrance / 11+ later on (we didn't) but I would be seriously questioning to quality of the provision of this school given what you have said.

[MarshaBrady]

Where do the children asked to leave usually go? Or perhaps it's hard to know.

[SuburbanRhonda]

charles, except that state primaries don't ask parents to move their child out of the school because it might affect their results.

That's the nub of the OP, isn't it? Her having to find another school for her child because the school are worried he might let the side down

[Pagwatch]

My DD is still on contact with three of her friends who left.
One went to a local state school, one went to a school for children with dyslexia and moderate SEN and one went to a non academic prep school nearer her home.