prep school have withdrawn my son's place in year 2

[rosaura]

i am in complete schock. we have been invited to move our son's from his prep school because he does not reach their academic standards!!! i have been in shock for 2 days... my son is only 6 and in year 2. they sad that they do not have the staff to support him next year to reach the standards set by the school. has anybody got any suggestions or similar experiences you can share? how can a school reject a child at 6?

[cartoonsaveme]

It's incredibly lazy for a school to try and blame a 6yr old boy for not engaging. Is that not their job??? Different DC mature and develop at all different rates. I assume they have had him and your money for 3 years so have had a long time to work with him to bring out his talents. I would be asking for a refund !!!! The upside is he will settle in a state school in no time at all and love it I suspect as state school teachers are skilled at dealing with a huge range of children.

[Ohmygrood]

That's really awful. Results before children.

[MrsCampbellBlack]

Whilst parents judge schools on results as many do - then this is what happens.

As others have said - this is a real issue in preps which aren't selective at age 3 or 4 - they then start to filter the children out as they move up the school.

However, I do think it is unusual to do so in yr2 unless the school thought there were significant additional needs or behavioural issues which they couldn't handle.

[LIZS]

I've known this happen at the transition from pre prep to prep or even around year 4 if it is evident that they won't pass entrance exams at 11/13. However it is usual for potential issues to be flagged as you go along and I would suspect they may have hinted at issues but op didn't register the significance.

[EdithWeston]

I've heard of schools which weed between pre-prep and prep, but it's well known to parents that this happens (and in practice very few leave - most years none - because nearly all children can reach the required standard n pre-prep to transfer).

Parents should be given plenty of warning, and help in finding another school. Is it definitely out, or 'we think there's a problem, and you need a plan b if not to standard by end of next term'?

Be aware that it might also be code for behavioural issues (including persistent low level disruption). But again, that really shouldn't be coming as a surprise out if the blue with a request to leave.

[rosaura]

There have been few meetings with the school/teachers this year to raise concerns over low concentration levels and day dreaming which led to a children psychologist assessment during school hours (privately paid of course) which has reported no behavioural issues, an above average iq but potentially a trait of dyscalculya. We had discussed some other strategies like a private tutor which apparently most parents have had since last year but then this was served to us without even exploring other options. Hints were given but the escalation has been inadequately fast....

[cartoonsaveme]

Is he bored and do you think he has issues with basic maths? I am amazed at how quickly some private schools can classify such young children as failing and tell parents they need expensive tutors and assessments. These just don't seem to occur in good state schools who just work with each child as an individual.

[Opopanax]

If he doesn't want to or cannot fit in with the expectations of the school, it is not a good place for him to spend his weekdays. Find him a school that fits his personality and abilities.

[MMmomKK]

I am sorry you have to deal with it and your school's way of delivering the message is hurtful.

However, being at the bottom of the class and not being able to keep up is not great for any kid. And it would only get worse as the pace of learning picks up in Y3.

Sounds like your prep is attached to a rather academic middle (or secondary?) school. At this point it seems that it's not the best school for your DS, so finding him a more relaxed school, where he would have a chance to grow up and mature on his own terms may be best for him.

In many countries kids only start school at 6 or 7. So, he still has time!

[Sunflower123456]

I am disgusted with this school, as it gave up on a child of 6 with above average IQ and no behavioural issues. This school is comparing him with other kids that are having private tuitions in addition to the school lessons. It has failed its prime responsibility, to educate your son (to their standard) for the agreed fee. Not having enough staff is no excuse.

Private schools are businesses, and they are totally heartless as we have found. All they want is kids that can achieve good grades to promote their schools. They won't cater for children with the slightest additional educational or medical needs, as that would reduce their profits. Such private schools (and there are many) should be named and shamed.

If you think your son is being unfairly expelled and their action is putting your son at risk of a gap in his schooling, then there are solicitors that will take your case up.

[Snapespotions]

It's clearly a rubbish school, OP. It probably gets decent results, thanks to excessive tutoring and because it weeds out those who won't make the cut, but it doesn't sound like the teaching is up to much.

Your ds will probably be much happier elsewhere.

[fluffymouse]

Op see the positive in moving your ds as obviously this isn't the right school for him.

This is unfortunately quite common in the private school sector. I know of children whose families were advised that 'their children would be better suited in a different school'.

[manicinsomniac]

This is so sad. And I'm shocked to hear how common this is in prep schools. I've never come across it and wouldn't work in one that did this.

OP, where do you live? I work in a Prep School in the home counties which has children in every year who win academic scholarships to Eton/Radley etc and children with significant learning difficulties working years behind their chronological age. And every other type of child in between. Some of our children can't get enough of academic learning and others need some really creative management. But they are all catered for and thriving and they are all successful at moving on to a senior school that is right for them. If you're anywhere near me I'd be happy to give you more specific information.

I'm guessing this may be a city school though?

[CharlesRyder]

I do not necessarily agree with the implication in some PP that all prep schools will be like this and the answer is a state school. Believe me, children fall through the gaps in state schools too and there are plenty of state schools out there too focused on getting their data right to actually treat children as individuals. This is an attitude I deal with daily in my job. In my 'good' school there are children who are 'difficult to engage' sitting in corridors, or outside the offices of SLT, with meaningless worksheets every single day.

The prep my DS is at is much more along the lines of the one manic works in. They dealt brilliantly and sensitively with some early behavioural issues while DS was settling in and are now working miracles over his near refusal to learn to write. The only child I know of that has moved to a different placement from his school was a child with ASD who has never developed much functional language, and that child stayed to the end of Y3.

Ever school is different. The OP needs to find the right one for her DS. This search should not be limited to one particular category of school.

[BossWitch]

They recommended a tutor for a six year old?? And said most other pupils had them from aged 5?! What the actual fuck?

That is insane. And I would want to make the point to the school that if the majority of pupils are needing additional tutoring to meet the academic standard of the school, the teaching of that class is clearly woefully inadequate.

[GratefulHead]

Awful, your poor DS.

This is what I hate about the private school system, they dint give a shit about the children, only their results. If your child doesn't reach their standards then it doesn't matter how much disruption it causes them they will be out. Results before the welfare of the child...lovely, you've had a lucky escape imho.

[BerylStreep]

Both of mine go to prep schools, and thankfully they seem to be very inclusive. DS's school in particular emphasise that they are an all ability school, and that they will help every single boy to achieve his potential, whether that is academic, sporting, creative arts.

I am aware of one boy who left (persistently disruptive, appeared to have some form of attention deficit disorder, but don't know if he was asked to leave or if the parents decided).

Sorry you are going through this, but your DS will be happier in a school who will make the effort to engage with him and bring out his best.

[Ubik1]

God just find him another school. That one sounds dreadful.

These poor kids in these flipping exam factories.

[OddBoots]

It sounds like the school want to take the credit for high academic standards that are obtained by private tutors instead of the school.

I've heard of teenagers being 'encouraged to leave' if they aren't going to get the school the grades the school want and that is bad enough but that seems to be happening younger and younger.

All very manipulative.

[MyOneandYoni]

I'm very sorry that this has happened to you on a personal level, OP.

This is the point of private schools, though, isn't it? People send their children there for social selection, to keep them away form the riffraff. And they can ask anyone who doesn't fit there mould to leave at any time.

Ask for your money back. They have obviously been crap teachers.

[Heels99]

I know someone this happened to, now in a different school still private but less academic.
Onwards and upwards, there will be a school for your sons needs. Good luck

[Heels99]

Look for schools that are non academic selective. I.e they don't select on academic grounds, if you can pay the fees you are in. There are two in our town they are both lovely nurturing schools.

[Pagwatch]

God yeah, 2 of mine are in private school so to keep them away from the riff faff I just don't let them talk to their brother. Or me and most of their relatives. Quite a few of their friends too.

It's not easy but it works.

[MrsMaturin]

Care to name and shame OP? This is truly shocking. Of course some schools will suit some children better but you are describing a bright 6 yr old with some issues with getting engaged in the work. It is entirely the teacher's responsibility to engage said child. Their reaction - get rid.
Meanwhile they are happily taking thousands of pounds from other parents who think they are getting value for money whilst also paying for a tutor!
This is terrible.

[Ubik1]

Yes I know a child who was asked to leave the 'kindergarten' at our local private school because he didn't fit in: behavioural issues, ESL etc

But if you are running a business - sorry 'charity'- then why make things more difficult? Just cream off the top.