prep school have withdrawn my son's place in year 2

[rosaura]

i am in complete schock. we have been invited to move our son's from his prep school because he does not reach their academic standards!!! i have been in shock for 2 days... my son is only 6 and in year 2. they sad that they do not have the staff to support him next year to reach the standards set by the school. has anybody got any suggestions or similar experiences you can share? how can a school reject a child at 6?

[DustyGold]

Think difficult for community schools to discriminate against for example children with SEN.
However, academies and free schools maybe differnt ball game.

[Michaelahpurple]

I have some experience of this as during a very rocky reception year at a small Chelsea independent we had a few "he may do better elsewhere" and (the sign they really mean it) "if you want to move him mid year we will repay your deposit".
However, we didn't have a lot of choice and he was tricky at first so I had to stick it out and with some satisfaction moved off to westminster under (selective prep) for year 4

It did involve some tongue-biting - there are some obvious tart responses to complaints like "when he is bored he sometimes lies down or insists on reading a book" but I resisted.

He'd have been better I a. Reception class with some room and access to outside space, but equally, eventually he has to get with the programme enough to get to a school which does suit him

You have a term and a half so have a good look around. Use the input from the school to the max, but don't be swayed too much as it can suit them to push such children in a direction which suits them and their "story" - my one had me looking at special schools

[Lonecatwithkitten]

It happens in state schools too, but they make the parents life a misery. Comments like ' it's bad parenting' for a child with HFA or they need to be in a special school, but then no support for this. Parents eventually move because the lives of their children and them are so miserable.
Bad schools in both sectors use various techniques to get rid of children who are challenging for a variety of reasons for the school.

[bearleftmonkeyright]

This is a poor show and I feel pretty angry on your behalf. You have had an ed psych assessment. Surely they should have given the school strategies to help engage your son? I think its disgraceful you have to start again whenyour son will have to reform frfriendship groups. I am a newly qualified TA and work 1 to 1 in a state school with a year 2 child with similar issues. It is possible to resolve this and in my opinion the school is being narrow minded and lazy.

[OddBoots]

It probably starts earlier than that Tiggytape and I think I may be unwittingly (until now) part of the issue.

I work in an Early Years setting and we have now and have had over the years a number of children with mild to severe additional needs. When the time comes for them to go to school we often support the parents in their applications (with a statement (as was) wherever we can get one) and I confess I do recommend schools where the SEND support is better. I've only been thinking of what might be best for that child but the wider implications have passed me by.

[Opopanax]

A friend of mine's children went to a very highly rated state primary in Sheen, west London, and she noted that all the academically weakest children gradually disappeared over years 1-4.

This could easily be the same one I mentioned earlier.

[rosaura]

@ Campbellblack my ds school is a small independent non selective prep school. They have offered small group support but not one to except for reading which they do with all children. They said that from next year there are no provision for this small groups support teaching. As mentioned my ds has been assessed by a specialist and he has not behavioural problems as you suggests. My ds also attend another prep school during holidays where they have an holiday camp and we have spoken to them and they confirmed there is nothing wrong with our son. They have invited us to look in to another school based on his complete boredom and daydreaming in the classroom when he is not interested in the subject and they have described him as a very bright able kid. I may have been naive (as mentioned I was not educated in this country) but the teacher also emailed me 2 weeks before they told us to search for another school to tell me that my ds had been much better this term and his work was improving.... So I wonder what can have happen in 2 weeks for them to come to this conclusion??? btw I have now found out this has also happen to another boy in the same class and I suspect perhaps one more too. The school is advertised as non selective but in actual fact it is and possibly they should consider just having the girls as it seems they cannot engage boys very well. Let me also tell you that at the end of last year my ds was the only one in his class to receive an award from the headmistress and last term his creative writing was the one chosen to enter a competition.... Puzzling....but now I know this happens on a regular basis... Stil I find it absolutely shocking that a child at 6 can be rejected, some say prep school are a business but children are not shares or sports cars yet to many it seems this way....

[SunnyBaudelaire]

those little prep schools are a business nothing more nothing less.
'Bright' engaged hard working children are seen as shares yes, all the others can get lost.
If I were you Rosaura I would be looking at your local state options.

[rosaura]

Deewee really???? Get lost! IF you are not capable of suggesting anything useful refrain from commenting.

[CharlesRyder]

I do find it a little difficult to imagine a school asking a bright, well behaved child to leave purely for being a bit of a daydreamer. Is that really all there is to it?

[rosaura]

Charlesryder his daydreaming and lack of interest make him stay behind compared to his peers and what they are saying is that from year 3 there is no support for children like mine. He is also the youngest in the classroom and he is definitely mentally as old as a 6 years old...

[DustyGold]

rosaura, it is shocking that a child young in the year is not supported.
I hope you manage to move on from this to a better school. Nothing about what you say would make me class this prep school a good one.
Tiggytape, you have a point re state schools. My children attend a community school that does well by children with extra needs.
You remind me by your comments of a parent who walks miles to the school. I asked her why she didn't apply for her catchment school a stones throw from her house. She said her ds went to that school's nursery [Cf E school] and they said our community school could support his needs better. Mmmm....

[CharlesRyder]

Could you move him to the prep with the holiday camp if they already have a more positive attitude about him?

Do you think he doesn't want to pay attention or can't? If the latter, has he been assessed for ADD (quite different presentation to ADHD)?

[Viviennemary]

I agree that it's the fault of the school and their selection system. It's horrible that they have come to this decision. I'd send him to a more supportive school. If that's their attitude I wouldn't want my child there no matter what.

[MarshaBrady]

A non selective school that removes children to maintain standards is just using a drawn out process of selection. It is a far more unsettling one for the dc and families.

Select at the start (or don't but realise what that means) then everyone can commit to it. I also much prefer reassessing at 7+ or 11 / 13 to keep a healthy movement between schools to get best results for dc who didn't get in earlier.

[rosaura]

I am looking to move ds to a boys prep school able to give more support. I am going to meet the headmaster next tue. The other prep school is close to my husband office but he travels abroad too often and it would not be possible for me to take him there. I think that ds can focuse incredibly well is he wants too but he can also switch off if he is not interested. I am trying to speak to him for him to improve. And he does work better in small groups rather than a big class. There are only 15 children in his classroom. By all means he will need to pas an entrance assessment in this other school so it will be interesting to know what they think. I am also going to see 2 other prep, less academic and more arty/sporty.

[MrsCampbellBlack]

Good luck in finding a new school Rosaura - I hope your DS has a better experience at his next school. And I would closely question them about their selection processes too - not just on joining but further up the school.

As I said earlier, I would also interrogate the current school more closely - it just seems utterly bizarre to want a child to leave who is a bit of a daydreamer.

[rosaura]

Michaelapurple good on you!!! Well done!! I am pleased for you. Xx

[CharlesRyder]

rosaura have you already been on your DS's case to make sure he's doing his best at school?

[LadySybilLikesSloeGin]

He sounds like a typical little boy, rosaura. They often need time to mature, especially if they are summer born. Chances are that a different teacher will engage him and work wonders, it's just a shame they have 'written him off' so early

IME church affiliated private schools are far more nurturing, rosaura, and see a child very differently.

I hope you manage to find something.

[rosaura]

Thank you ladysybil, I have just spoken to another mum and although she was not told anything she has received a letter from the head mistress telling her all support to her ds will be stopped from this April ( they told me from next year...) even the one she is privately paying!!!! How very sad

[MrsCampbellBlack]

Perhaps the school is in trouble rosaura? I do think you've had a lucky escape.

[cece]

I was also going to ask whether he has been assessed for inattentive adhd?