Facebook status updates you wish you could write. XXXX...

[Tigresswoods]

Following the success of this thread in "Conception" I thought I would share its cathartic qualities here in "Pregnancy" too.

I'll give you a starter for ten:

Tigress has no symptoms at 6 weeks except for exceptionally sore nipples

See, you can't write THAT on Facebook!

k has just realised she hasnt poo'd in 9 days. Must break out the Movicol.

mrsbean78 is mildly horrified by her maternity bra fitting, in which last year's 34A's have morphed into this year's 40DDs. Husband is pretty thrilled, mind you..

MiniMilk thinks she has overdone the whole 'not worrying about what I'm eating when pregnant' thing...am so fed up of eating junk that I'm actually looking forward to no longer being pregnant so I can start dieting again!! until then, going to start healthy eating until craving for doughnuts becomes too strong!!

AngelaCarleen is looking forward to seeing her mummy tomorrow who she hasn't seen since she found out she was pregnant (ten weeks ago!) AngelaCarleen is also worried about the description of the cardy her Aunt is knitting for her bean, sounds awful

pyjamababe is now 14 weeks and 4 days and is looking forward to having a proper bump rather than just looking like she ate all the pies. (Which she did, incidentally).

ps HOW FANTASTIC ARE MATERNITY JEANS??!! Wish I had found them years ago, great for an emergency wee as no button or zip

Tigress wafted around Mamas and Papa this afternoon eyeing up all the gorgeous maternity wear. Soon...

GracieGirl is slightly bewildered, someone at work today ran up to me and shouted OMG you suddenly look pregnant when you didn't yesterday! (I think maybe I just needed a fart! but then again I'm 17 weeks now and this bump has got to appear at some point!)

AngelaCarleen has bought sexy new maternity bras, NOT!! They are bloody comfy though

wish I could write -

would like to tell the "friend" who said I need to get out more so I have more interesting conversation to f* off! I'm 30 weeks preggers and quite happy to take it easy!

Sorry folks, bit emotional and feel a bit let down...

MiniMilk has discovered that she cannot go to the cinema anymore - seats so uncomfortable for my back & stomach so full of gas from fanta I stupidly drank that stomach was rock hard by end so had to get DP to help me up from my seat!! sorry if that tmi?!!

lilmissmummy LOVES her new sleep bras she bought today. It was so much more comfortable to get up for my 6 wees last night

or

lilmissmummy was in maternity trousers and her hubbys t-shirts at 7 weeks and hasnt even seen the midwife yet!

lilmissmummy is SOOOOOOOO tired that she cant even be bothered to find the remote to turn the tv over and thats not because she is lazy (well maybe a little!)

lol at minimilk

Crankytwanky is one horny mama, and is going to shag Mr Twanky ragged when he gets home.

Thanks crankytwanky that is what this thread is for! Rah!

Tigress is now 14 weeks preggers and is not showing or wearing any maternity clothes. She is however very tired and had an hour long nap in the middle of the day.

Tigress doesn't feel like eating anything except toast, crackers and rice krispies.

hoops997 is fed up of having to 'hold' her boobs, when she gets up in the middle of the night for a wee....

hoops997 is turning into badger from bodger and badger.......can't get enough of mashed potato!!!

AngelaCarleen can't believe that it's another 6 weeks and three days until she can have sex. Wishing DH was home now, although still hasn't got a clue where he'll sleep, I'm rather enjoying a king size bed all to myself . Poor Dh if he comes home after 4 months and I've gone off it again

MiniMilk feels so heavy & uncomfortable...how am I going to survive the next 17 weeks til my due date when I can't even walk 10mins without my tummy muscles hurting now??! can't believe I've turned into a complete whale at only 23 weeks pregnant, was so much smaller with DC1!!

Penny needs to buy some bigger pants as she is suffering terribly from HBS (Hungry Bum Syndrome)

I love this thread!!

Tigress has had her hairy tiger's tummy waxed so she can show off her little bump which is just starting to show

GracieGirl is not impressed that she has bleeding piles already!!! Isn't pregnancy glamourous!

(I would so love to put that on real facebook just see see people's faces!)

hoops997 thanks god that she is not the only one with bleeding piles this early on!!!

is actually quite worried that she feels 'normal' today after 8 weeks of the immense pain caused an agrivated ovary, aching boobs and all day sickness.

Crankytwanky has wind so noxious, she is expecting a damning report from Hans Blix any day now.

AngelaCarleen is having a wobble and is a bit freaked out by the fact that she will never just be Angela again, ever!!!

GracieGirl could just eat some Turkish Delight....... now where do I get that from at this time on a Sunday night?????