Thread for mooching around on and whinging about being overdue

[FrannyandZooey]

come and join me in my pit of gloom boredom and a little bit of excitement

I am 2 days over now and no signs whatsoever

I'm sure sweetkitty will understand.
I am willing to bet that mid contraction you are unlikely to be gleefully thinking "Ha! Those poor overdue cows lying around eating chocolate when here I am shitting a melon. Suckers!"

You're not a horrid lady.
Though you are very big and fat.
Hope this helps.

"Ha! Those poor overdue cows lying around eating chocolate when here I am shitting a melon. Suckers!"

LOLOL I bet I will

Hatrick let's get together and form a plan for being bitter in really twisted ways

oh I like this prayer I saw at the midwife's yesterday:

Grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change
the courage to change what I cannot accept
and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill today because they got on my nerves

in fact I think this is the motto of the thread

I am ELEVEN DAYS OVERDUE
I am SO MUCH WORSE OFF THAN EVERYONE ELSE
oh woe oh woe oh woe oh woe

Are you really sure you're pregnant?

Maybe it's just trapped gas?

Message withdrawn

Yeek, is it 11 days Franny?
Are you the most overdue on this thread?

I think you people need to start tickers.

Number of days overdue:
My pelvis feels like:
I'm so pissed off I could:
These people are now looking at me with fear in their eyes:
What I want to put on our outgoing telephone message:
Today's fuckwits who have said 'Haven't you had that baby yet?' or something witlessly similar:
What I want to do to the above people:
How many years in jail that will get me:
On balance, it's worth it: y/n

Still here. More sex last night.

Far TMI but sex definitely didn't feel as uncomfortable as it did when it brought on labour with DS1. That felt like DH was about three times his normal size.

Last night was just really nice unfortunately.

As a consequence, no movement.

Sweep at 2:30 today.

Eek.

I have had ruddy awful sex all week
last night was the worst
it doesn't achieve a thing though
and I HURT

franny - stop having sex dear. Tis not doing much and if you aren't enjoying it, and it hurts - well, what's the point?

Number of days overdue: 7

My pelvis feels like: it is crumbling

I'm so pissed off I could: shave my MIL's head and stick a dead bird on the top (oh my god - where did that anger come from!)

These people are now looking at me with fear in their eyes: DH

What I want to put on our outgoing telephone message: I'd like to take this opportunity to tell you all how much I hate you now please just f*ck off and stop ringing.

Today's fuckwits who have said 'Haven't you had that baby yet?' or something witlessly similar: Quite early so just my poor DH before he had even opened his eyes.

What I want to do to the above people: see MIL reference

How many years in jail that will get me: 0 - they wouldn't catch me, in this state I'd kill them all

On balance, it's worth it: y

Franny - maybe we should swap husbands. DH told me this morning that he was being gentle. Damn him.

lol a lot springerspaniel

esp at poor MIL's new do

There are so many ways for people to get to you:

in person
phone
text
email
facebook

and bloody MSN - someone just bing-bonged me:

• "No baby yet? I bet you are sick of people asking?"
• That's correct.

Just remembered another one - sodding snail mail. Got a card the other day:

• "Thinking of you."

AARGH - don't bloody think of me. Get on with your own life.

I like the answerphone messages:

"you don't need to phone back" ....but if you don't I will ring again and again sounding progressively more agitated

Yeah - I hate it when people leave whittering messages like "Ooh, you are not there, maybe that means that you are in hospital. Ooh, maybe you are there but having contractions, etc etc. etc."

Aha - just thought what I could change my answering machine message to:

"I have caller id. I can see it is you so I am not answering."

evil

even dp was at it this morning
"well I am sorry I have to go to work this morning" (ie that you are NOT in labour yet again)

"well I hope I have to come home early"
(ie that you phone and tell me you ARE in labour)

fuckwits all

[lurk]

F&Z - my DH was the same. "I could really do without going to work today."

Franny - I know you're sort of in my area, but is Bury St Edmunds too far for you to travel? I know a reflexologist who specialises in induction who works in Bury on a Friday.

Obviously I can't say it will work for you, but it did for me. It's not cheap (approx £50) but I went into labour the next day.

If you are interested let me know and I'll give you her number.

hahah I was just searching for FRANNY'S BIRTH STORY but it turns out you are STILL pregnant! Dear me Franny!

can I kill morningpaper? is that allowed?

fifty quid dear god
dp will go spare
yes I am interested, let me think please

prod's Franny tummy and runs away

IS THAT TWINS IN THERE?
NO BABY YET?
HOW'S YOUR STRETCHMARKS?
HOW'S THAT GOING TO GET OUT OF THERE?
I BET YOU'RE etcetc