Twins / 3rd preg / termination?

[ForLilacStork]

trying for a third but have found out it’s twins. We have a 3 and 6 year old already and twins hadn’t even crossed my mind.
I have some health issues which terrify me + the anxiety I’m already feeling which are making me lean toward termination, but I don’t know how I’m going to feel after.

atm I wake up depressed, sad and sick (plus being sick ALL day) and just want it be over and wish it would just go away but I feel so guilty because we wanted one kid, not two.

we are fortunate to have family around but I can’t help but think how much are they really going to help? People are so busy with their own lives that the help is short lived.

then there’s the issue of how I’m going to manage 4 kids, 4 schedules, working, husband that works long hours etc
hubby is happy to support me no matter what but would be thrilled to have two more.

we live an easy life right now and I don’t want to struggle (mentally, physically, emotionally, financially) but is this selfish?

I’m also entirely terrified of what it will do to my body + have had two natural births but have already been told I’d be having a C-section which I’ve already had a really hard time processing.

Is there anything that helped you make this decision?

Dear OP I have never met a woman who regretted having her children. Ever.
But I know some, who terminated their pregnancy and that completely shattered their world afterwards.

Beautufully said! Well done 💕

I really feel for you OP. I have a 3 and 6 year old and have often thought about a third. The risk of twins worries me massively. Double the cost, another car, a new house, impact on existing children etc.

Also health anxiety sufferer!

All you can do is make the decision you think you will regret the least and I know that’s so hard as there is no crystal ball.

Only you know how much you’ve longed for a third and how likely it is that you will continue to question if you’ve made the right decision.

FWIW I had a termination once and barely think of it now, it didn’t cause any mental side effects after, only relief, because I knew in my heart it was the right decision.

Every sperm has the potential to create a life, are you sobbing over your husbands used wanking tissues?

You don't get to tell women what to do with their own bodies. People are allowed to change their minds, make mistakes. Women should not have to carry a pregnancy they don't want or raise a child they don't want. Piling in on a woman who is struggling and shaming her because you have silly sentimental beliefs is a nasty thing to do. Keep them to yourself.

OP isn’t a 15 year old who got pregnant because she doesn’t really know what goes where or understand how conception works.
Her situation isn’t a mistake; it’s an irresponsible decision. And advertising that as being okay isn’t right, in my opinion.

When you’re an adult and decide to have children, you understand how these things work. The chances of having twins also increase with age.

Before we started trying for our third child, my husband and I had a serious discussion about what our lives would look like, whether we could afford another child, and how we would manage if things didn’t go as planned. We even discussed the possibility of having twins or triplets. We made our decision with all these possibilities in mind.

Not considering that things might turn out differently than you expected isn’t a mistake. It’s a failure to consider the possible consequences of your decision.

🙄
If you need to dismiss someone's post because they used a profanity, you probably don't have much of a rebuttal.
And honestly, in 2026, I would hope we are advanced enough to try to understand and support other people's thoughts and emotions rather than immediately judge them against our own.

I have worked in abortion care for years and years. I speak to 30+ women every week, I hear the reality behind the thoughts, hopes and heartbreak of having to put the reality of their own lives before a unplanned or planned pregnancy.

I'm sorry that a word has upset you but I tend to address the actual issue rather than clutching my pearls over a swear word!

I was in your shoes eight years ago, but with one other child who had additional issues. The despair I felt at times was overwhelming. I did keep them, for me an abortion was never an option. The first couple of years was incredibly difficult but after that it’s been largely wonderful. They are the loves of my life, along with my eldest. I really get the despair of where you are now and hope whatever your choice is it’ll bring you peace.

Yep, it’s INTERNALISED MISOGYNY.
Absolutely shameful.

“Every sperm has the potential to create a life, are you sobbing over your husbands used wanking tissues?”

This is a very good point @Loverurarliving01 Do you??

I have twins. I’m not sure why you’ve been told a c section is necessary at this point? I had mine naturally. They were full term and head down. Honestly it was just like my previous labor, with the exception that I just had to push twice. Think about it, your labour isn’t twice as long. It takes what it takes to get to 10 cm. Then you push. That said, I’d not have hesitated to have a section if one or both were feet first.

in my experience, two babies weren’t twice as hard. Maybe one and a half.

I too, am in the best shape of my life, and got there post the birth of all of my kids. I’m 58. I adore them.

I think it is totally normal and reasonable to feel a bit scared and overwhelmed upon finding out that any pregnancy is twins, and your body, your choice. BUT I would say that IMO this is a wanted pregnancy and once you’ve had the chance to adjust and adapt to this news of twins then you will feel better and would really regret terminating.

Pointless post. Other women’s fertility issues have nothing to do with whether or not another woman should have an abortion.

God this is such rubbish. Of course you’ve met women who occasionally regret having their children, they just won’t have said it out loud because it’s not acceptable for women to voice that they wish they hadn’t had children.

On the flip side, I’ve met plenty of women who had abortions and it was the best decision they’ve made for themselves.

@Sittingonacloud

plenty of women regret having children but it’s socially unacceptable still to articulate this aloud.

It definitely depends on the circle you're in!! The women I know absolutely adore their children

This is a ridiculously weak argument. Comparing a man’s used wanking tissues to a woman willingly opening her legs to welcome a sperm, knowing full well that her egg could be fertilised, is a false equivalence.
How can you not comprehend the difference between sperm on a tissue and a woman who has engaged in sex that can result in pregnancy?

The fact that sperm is necessary to create human life doesn’t mean every sperm cell is a potential baby. There is a fundamental biological difference between sperm and an established pregnancy. If you’re going to argue about abortion, at least have the intellectual honesty to acknowledge that these are two entirely different situations.

@Loverurarliving01

sorry but all of that is irrelevant. At the end of the day, it boils down to- woman’s body, woman’s choice. End of.

I’m sorry you’re struggling OP.

I’m not sure who told you that you’d definitely need a c-section but I find that surprising - I know someone who had breech twins vaginally, so I don’t think a CS is set in stone.

Are you anti abortion people like...OK? Are you men? I see a woman posting for help and support and I see some disgusting messages on here. It's OK to have different opinions but when you know they're going to cause distress to someone else that's not OK. Go touch some grass/ find a hobby. Her body. Her choice and you can tell how distressing this is for her.

I see. So, when you can't address the actual argument, suddenly it's all irrelevant?

And this ‘my body, my choice’ argument isn't the conversation-ending statement you think it is. Your choice doesn't exist in a vacuum; abortion involves medical professionals, ethical considerations, and, yes, other people having opinions on the subject. You have every right to hold your position, just as I have every right to question it.

Having the right to make a choice doesn't automatically make that choice right. The right to choose and the morality of that choice are two entirely different discussions.

Christ there are some right twattish posts on this thread 🙄 OP if you don't want to continue this pregnancy then you don't have to. End of discussion. This isn't Gilead. Being faced with two newborns is very different from one. Four children is very different to three. Twins are HARD, even if they're easy babies. I know a family who had 3 kids, the younger two were twins, very much wanted via ivf. Everyone healthy and financially secure. It absolutely destroyed them. Their relationship fell apart and they divorced when the kids were about ten, the mum confided in me once when she was incredibly upset that having the twins just annihilated their marriage.

Take a few days to see how you feel, maybe speak to your GP about this, whether they can give you anything for your nausea. But at the end of the day it's up to you.

And whoever posted saying they don't know anybody who regrets their children/number of children is frankly talking out their arse. What fucking arrogance to assume you know people on that sort of level.

If the person making the choice is comfortable with their choice, then who are you to question the ‘morality’ of that choice? It’s literally nothing to do with you. I’m a vegan, I think eating animal products is morally wrong. But that’s me, that’s my own relationship with morality. I’m not about to tell someone who eats meat that their choice is morally wrong. That’s between them and their own ideas of morality. I don’t think it’s my place to push my ideas of what’s right and wrong on another person.

@Loverurarliving01

so you debate my statement that it’s OP’s body and her choice? And that if she doesn’t want to continue the pregnancy that she doesn’t have to?

I had an abortion.
We had 3 children with what I considered good spacing. No problems during pregnancy, children were healthy, financially ok to have another one married, same father all of them.
I enjoyed having children and taking care of them. Done all breastfeeding for ages, baby swimming, baby gym, baby music, all that kind of stuff.
I didn't quite see a point of having children and then not being with them if at all possible. So I did all that. 3 times.
Next I wanted do something else.
I had plans in my head and then I got pregnant.
I thought about it, and got an abortion.
I wouldn't mind another child and would enjoy experience if magically another appeared but I preferred to do something else.
Never regretted it.
I had children. My children had siblings.
Termination was a choice and I am very grateful to live in times and society where I can do so safely.

I’m not ‘anti-abortion’ (I see we have to put a label on everything, so here we go 🙄).

I'm a woman myself, and I’m against the idea that adults shouldn’t have to take responsibility for their decisions and that abortion should be treated as an easy, consequence-free solution.

We desperately need to change this mindset of ‘oh, just get an abortion’ as though it’s a decision without potential physical and emotional consequences. Instead of simply telling women, ‘Don’t feel bad, everyone does it,’ why aren’t we putting more emphasis on education, understanding the potential consequences, and making informed decisions in the first place?

I am simply against the idea of normalising abortion to the point where any concerns or difficult feelings surrounding it are immediately dismissed.