Due February 2025 - Thread 5: IT'S TIME

[UrbanSquirrel]

Creating this as a space to continue the Feb 2025 chat - quite frankly it's all starting to feel very, very real right now!

@retrievermum are you ok?
Don't know if you're on the fb group and I've missed messages in there?
If it's any conciliation I'm the same, they've pushed for a c section or induction and I said no to both. I have small babies, I'm having a home birth, I'm not prepared to fill my body full of adrenaline to kill off my oxytocin by going into hospital.
Even if they try to replace it with a chemical substance, it's a big fat no from me.
Here for the anti coercive support if you need me x

@apple67cherry I had a hot curry on Saturday, back pain bad,
Felt rather rank for a few hours, had some contractions
Sunday morning it was back to normal

The nausea has been past two days now and contractions have been on and off last few days so we will see. Baby wasn't engaged at all though when I saw midwife 2 days ago :(

I had very twinge-y abdominal pain today and thought, "Is this it?!"

But it was just really bad gas. 🙃

I wonder how long it takes for them to be engaged. Like could you wake up and they have wriggled into place.
My little ones engaged now, has been for 3 weeks, so don't know how long they sit in position for

@Toriiaa first borns usually engage weeks before but my little one hasn't as yet and I'm induced in 10 days so hoping it doesn't mean he's not at all ready to come out.
But was told babies can engage very quickly and some don't do it until labor

@apple67cherry both my babies were engaged for weeks. Must just be a personal thing.
Eeek 10-15 days time you'll meet your baby.
I'm full term on 28th according to the nhs so my little ones hopefully makes an appearance soon

@Toriiaa exact same situation here. They’ve booked me in for an appointment every week (some weeks twice!) until 42 weeks and I’m thinking of telling them I’m not going. I don’t see the point going to an appointment where they’re trying to force me into something I don’t want! If I get to 42 I’ll have a think about it, but I don’t want to ruin my chances of going into spontaneous labour by worrying about it before then.

I felt very pushed into things with my first labour and I’m so determined not to let that happen again! I hope you’re okay too, it’s not a nice situation to be in 💕

@retrievermum
Small baby as well? Or just because you're not scared of their tactics?
See I've just told them straight, don't book me loads of appointments because it's a waste of precious nhs time. By attempting to grind me down will merely cause a free birth on their hands.
Baby 1 was a free birth by accident because they didn't take me seriously as I was only in labour for 3 hours. - because I was at home, with my dog, my boyfriend, strays movie, pizza, my favourite snacks and drinks (lucozade raspberry is mint for labour)
Candles, dim lights, blinds closed

I was an oxytocin queen and baby Lola entered the world perfect .

I would like to repeat that,

I had a growth scan this week and they stopped to the cerebral paulsy card as baby is small so they assume my placentas not providing enough oxygen

Sorry but people do drugs, smoke, drink throughout their pregnancy and birth completely healthy babies! He's just small, like my first born, leave me alone.

And you have to manifest this in your mind, otherwise they'll get in to your intuition and try to redirect you to abide by their risk averse, heavy handed coercion.

You got this mama!!!!!

@Toriiaa and @retrievermum I hope you both get exactly the births that you want - although it sounds as though you are both perfectly capable of resisting any unnecessary pressure, which is great 🤞🏻

And the same to anyone else feeling pressured, in whichever direction that may be 🤗 x

Wow. Another new thread.

Does feel like everyone is very close now 😍

I've developed a rash all over my bump and legs, driving me nuts.
Doctors have given me hydrocortisone cream and antihistamines so hoping that helps

@Piluka every Trust is slightly different in terms of the complaints process. Best thing to do is to go on the hospital’s website and search for ‘complaints’ or PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Service) although for example in the hospital where I go there are posters everywhere with a QR code you can scan to give them feedback there and then which is useful.
Failing this you can also call the ward and ask them who to raise it with :).

I have a question about colostrum. Those of you who managed to get some - when did you start noticing that you’re producing it? I’m 35+4 and still nothing and I’m worried I will have none :(. Not a drop in my bra or anywhere.

@QuantumPanic i’m giggling about your gas comment over my porridge 🤭
@Toriiaa your last labour sounds lovely. When you say free birth you mean you got to the hospital or you had baby Lola at home?
@SBelfast congratulations for the arrival. How are you both doing today?

@Kumquat89 I had the baby at home with no midwife or any supervision. Just me and my boyfriend delivered her

@ThisLimeDeer I didn't leak any in my first pregnancy, I had to hand express

Note to everyone wanting to save their liquid gold

Hand express on to a teaspoon and then pull it with the syringe off the spoon, it's so heartbreaking to miss a drop with a syringe and it feels so wasted

@ThisLimeDeer I never had any leaks or anything but was still able to harvest 😊. I started at 36 weeks and started off with just a tiny bit but now can fill a couple syringes at a time. I was given an NHS leaflet about antenatal expressing which said to massage the breast and then express. It said it can take a few minutes to get going. Also, make sure you're in a relaxed atmosphere!

Thanks @UrbanSquirrel for setting up another thread! 37+4 here and still working…I mostly work as a freelance illustrator and have a book deadline on the baby’s due date 😳 so I’m frantically trying to get the artwork in soonish before I go into labour. It’s so different to my first when I was still in my primary career as an oncology pharmacist - I went on mat leave at 33 weeks and was then twiddling my thumbs until 41! I hope the stress isn’t going to mess too much with my oxytocin…

Baby was 3/5 engaged on Tuesday (which doesn’t really mean anything but got me excited!) so we’re moving the bedside crib into the room this weekend. We’ve also set up the buggy board for our older son and are trying to ease him into the fact that his life is going to change (hopefully for the better!) pretty soon. Feeling a bit of mum guilt and trying to squeeze in as much as I can with him while it’s just him.

@ThisLimeDeer Just to add solidarity. 38+4 here and had no luck at all with colostrum despite following recommended procedures in videos etc. I guess some of us just don't get lucky - and again it's nothing we can blame ourselves for. 😘 It's just the way things work (or not!). I'm still hoping the baby might be able to persuade a bit out in the first day or so, before we move on to formula, but here Chez Squirrel we're running out of time x

@MyHappyNewt What a wonderful job you have (and, taking your previous career into account, what an amazingly multi-talented person you are!). Would love to see an example of your work if you're up for sharing by DM (reasons: a) am art historian so love seeing other people's art, and b) MIL is illustrator and I'm always blown away by her work) x

Thanks everyone, I will begin hand expressing next Tuesday I think (I have a midwife appointment in the morning so I’ll see if she has any tips for me). We talked about it at the NCT class but other than squeezing a knitted nipple I have no experience and I feel like I’ve forgotten what the tutor told us 🤣. I’ll have a look at some videos as well.
@UrbanSquirrel thank you for your kind words, you are right, if we can’t then we can’t and shouldn’t blame ourselves at all ♥️

@MyHappyNewt that's so cool. I worked as an illustrator for a while (freelancer) but I found ppl doesn't appreciate the work behind each illustrator (and not well paid, unfortunately) so ended up going for a Graphic Design degree as it was more a Mon-Friday job. As @UrbanSquirrel suggested share something! 😊

Ha ha @Piluka then you have to share too!

So impressed by people's artistic talents 🤩

On a more serious note, @ThisLimeDeer's suggestions about how to approach your growth-scan complaint via PALS sounds spot-on. If you don't feel comfortable 'complaining' per se, you can present it as a 'systems failure', because it's a larger issue beyond a single person - the hospital should have checks to ensure that patients are getting all the appointments they should have, etc. And you can make the point that you have fortunately not been disadvantaged by this, but you wish to raise the issue to avoid harm coming to more vulnerable patients in the future.

I love writing a good letter so would be happy to read over anything you come up with, if that would be helpful 🤗 xxx

@MyHappyNewt Being an illustrator sounds like a wonderful job (although obviously there are stresses, like with any job). Did you make the change from pharmacist to illustrator during your first mat leave?

I ask because I'm considering using mat leave as an opportunity for a career change. I'm in a very niche, insecure industry at the moment, with very long hours - not ideal with a young child. Also I don't have a job to go back to 😅 so it seems like a good time to make the leap. Just need to gather the courage!!

Hi everybody. I know I'm Very late to the party but do you mind if I tag on?
I was technically a March member but now have a February section date! Xx

@ThisLimeDeer @UrbanSquirrel I didn't manage to harvest anything at all last time, I did try but tbh it freaked me out a bit and made me a bit squeamish 😂 but once baby was born he went onto the boob and all was well. So if you did want to try and get baby to latch when they are born then you can do! I think expressing is hard when you've never BF before. I actually had a dream last night about collecting colostrum so maybe il give it a go today 😂 see how I get on.