Thread 2 for us classed as more mature pregnant ladies

[AliasGrape]

Hi everyone.
I noticed our thread was about to fill up, so thought I’d start a new one quick. Hope that’s not too presumptuous of me and have to say thank you to @Sheera1 for starting the thread.

As the title says it’s a discussion thread for any pregnant women who are classed as that bit older for a mum to be.

Copying our list over so we can keep up. If you would like to join please copy and paste the list, adding your own details in date order.

Really hope I’m doing this right! 🙈

@Liveforholidays 40. Due 01/06/20 - Baby boy born 4th June 💙
@Ethellsmum 38. Due July DC5
@fool11 45, due July, DC2
@PregnantPorcupine, 38, due 29/07/20 DC1
@AliasGrape 40 Due 30/07/20 DC1
@stairgates Age 43 Due 5/08/20 DC12
@Dufferedup 42. Due Sep DC3
@Realladymarmalade Age? Due:29/08/20 DC (darling child)?
@Ferrylass 45. Due Oct? DC2
@3isthemagicnumber3 40. Due 16/10/20 DC3
@Brightonmaman 41. Due 19 Oct DC2
@LittleMiss7 38. Due 20/10/20 DC1&2.. TWINS!
@crispaddict99 40. Due 9/11/20 DC1
@Sheera1 41. Due 20/11/20 ds10
@onlyreadingneverposting8 44. Due 24/11/20 DC (darling child)?
@Frazzlerock age 41. Due 26/11/20 DC3 - 7th pregnancy
@EveningReflection 38. Due 04/12/2020 DC1
@MariaDingbat 40. Due 07/12/20 & FTM dc3
@AuntLucy 44. Due Dec
@passthemustard Age? Due Dec DC5
@sunlight81 Age? Due Dec DC2 & 3 TWINS!
@countingblessings 40 Due 19/12/20 DC2
@LJEva 42. Due 25/12/20 DC2
@Shroppy 38 Due 31/12/20 DC1
@Kiffers 42, due 01.01.21 - first child
@Liese27 38 Due 9/01/21 DC2
@footprintsintheslow 40 Due 10/01/21 dC3
@pinklillie 39. Due Jan DC1
@sk283 40. Due 21/01/21 DC2
@Antihop 42. Due 21/01/21 DC2
@mlctobe 41. Due 21/01/21 DC2
@Dia1212 40. Due 21/01/21 DC1
@Mummymilla Age? Due 24/01/21 DC3
@Viennoise 38. Due 26/01/21
@Louscarlet 39 due 30/01/21 DC1
@Celibacydidntwork 46 Due 31/1/21 DC3

Antenatal care was shocking for me until.i started making noises about it, about being on the red pathway and my h/o severe PND. I have to say since 24 weeks or so they have upped their game . But its shocking and what if you are a ftm fir instance who cant self advocate ?

Naomi where are you in Scotland? Theres a few of us here :)

Re MIL sheera that's appalling..bastards !
I agree its the lack of loyalty shown in the face if these situations that I'd damaging.
My last MIL was bonkers and was not happy when I asked to cancel her visit in the dreaded day 3 post dd- whom she had already met ! The resultant affect was that exdp threatened to leave me as I was 'hogging the baby" . She would also say mad shit like how exdp was better with his ex wife than with me. Whilst I held our newborn baby. But exdp never ever called her on it and mi in laws were also a factor in our relationship breakdown.

Dp and I have just had a lovely chat about mil dynamics and he has been super understanding. He has sort of put her back in her place and said 'my partner knows her own body best so we are just listening to that , and the professionals '. I think mil feels threatened by the fact that I'm old hand at this so dont need to be patronised/given unsolicited advice. I think many mils can be difficult so it's just about whether your partner can hold the boundary and gave your back I guess. Also sheera how is that tooth socket?

Hi ladies,

I've just found this thread and am myself a slightly older FTM at 38. I'm currently 24 weeks and our little boy is due on Dec 13th.

I've got the added complication of Crohn's disease so might well be induced at 38 weeks but with the gaps in care and communication, I'm running a bit blind re everything at the moment but trying to just go with the flow. Seems you are all suffering from that..

Seen quite a bit of chat re the diabetes test - mine is at 28 weeks and seems standard rather than tied to age or weight in my hospital. Need to look at the details at some point but there was some instruction about consuming half a tonne of lucozade tablets..

@jalu47 welcome to the group.

@Realladymarmalade I live in Edinburgh quite near the infirmary we are only 10-15 mins away so nice and close when it's time to have the baby.

Sounds like you had a nightmare with your ex mil, glad your dp is more understanding this time about potential issues. My mil is absolutely fine it's my own mother who can be a nightmare, she's booked two weeks annual leave off immediately after the baby is born and is planning to come and stay with us. On one hand I know she'll be helpful around the house and cook etc for us whilst we are grappling with being first time parents but on the other hand we don't always have the best relationship so I'm worried I find it quite stressful having her here.

@jalu47 welcome and congratulations. This is a lovely thread.

Here's a list of all of us in date order that you can add yourself to if you want to....

@Liveforholidays 40. Due 01/06/20 - Baby boy born 4th June 💙
@Ethellsmum 38. 💝
@fool11 45, 💙
@PregnantPorcupine, 38, due 29/07/20 DC1
@AliasGrape 40 Due 30/07/20 DC1
@stairgates Age 43 💙
@Dufferedup 42. Due Sep DC3
@Realladymarmalade Age? Due:29/08/20 DC (darling child)?
@Ferrylass 45. Due Oct? DC2
@3isthemagicnumber3 40. Due 16/10/20 DC3
@Brightonmaman 41. Due 19 Oct DC2
@LittleMiss7 38. Due 20/10/20 DC1&2.. TWINS!
@crispaddict99 40. Due 9/11/20 DC1
@NaomiB79. 40. Due 13/11/20 DC1
@Sheera1 41. Due 20/11/20 ds10
@onlyreadingneverposting8 44. Due 24/11/20 DC (darling child)?
@Frazzlerock age 41. Due 26/11/20 DC3 - 7th pregnancy
@EveningReflection 38. Due 04/12/2020 DC1
@MariaDingbat 40. Due 07/12/20 & FTM dc3
@AuntLucy 44. Due Dec
@passthemustard Age? Due Dec DC5
@sunlight81 Age? Due Dec DC2 & 3 TWINS!
@countingblessings 40 Due 21/12/20 DC2
@LJEva 42. Due 25/12/20 DC2
@Liese27 38 Due 9/01/21 DC2
@Clarkel1 39 Due 10/01/21
@footprintsintheslow 40 Due 10/01/21 dC3
@pinklillie 39. Due Jan DC1
@sk283 40. Due 21/01/21 DC2
@Antihop 42. Due 21/01/21 DC2
@mlctobe 41. Due 21/01/21 DC2
@Mummymilla Age? Due 24/01/21 DC3
@Viennoise 38 Due 26/01/21 DC1
@Louscarlet 39 Due 30/01/21 DC1
@MaryShelley1818 Due 09/02/2021 DC2
@Chickoletta* Due End of March DC3?

Tooth socket is doing good actually. Feeling g much better although horrible taste in my mouth. Paracetamol helping. Bit knackered at times. On the mend for sure 😊

Yes MIL's can be so awful. DP's mum died about 11 years ago. His step dad is lovely though and would never impose. He was so lovely over the weekend with the tooth drama and car drama.

I don't understand woman who have been through childbirth and having a newborn can be like that. I would never tell someone what to do with their baby and be so respectful and would never insist on visits and especially staying over immediately after the birth or even for weeks. If I stayed fsr away I would get a B&B or hotel close by.

Thanks @footprintsintheslow - I've added below

@Liveforholidays 40. Due 01/06/20 - Baby boy born 4th June 💙
@Ethellsmum 38. 💝
@fool11 45, 💙
@PregnantPorcupine, 38, due 29/07/20 DC1
@AliasGrape 40 Due 30/07/20 DC1
@stairgates Age 43 💙
@Dufferedup 42. Due Sep DC3
@Realladymarmalade Age? Due:29/08/20 DC (darling child)?
@Ferrylass 45. Due Oct? DC2
@3isthemagicnumber3 40. Due 16/10/20 DC3
@Brightonmaman 41. Due 19 Oct DC2
@LittleMiss7 38. Due 20/10/20 DC1&2.. TWINS!
@crispaddict99 40. Due 9/11/20 DC1
@NaomiB79. 40. Due 13/11/20 DC1
@Sheera1 41. Due 20/11/20 ds10
@onlyreadingneverposting8 44. Due 24/11/20 DC (darling child)?
@Frazzlerock age 41. Due 26/11/20 DC3 - 7th pregnancy
@EveningReflection 38. Due 04/12/2020 DC1
@MariaDingbat 40. Due 07/12/20 & FTM dc3
@jalu47 38. Due 13/12/20 FTM
@AuntLucy 44. Due Dec
@passthemustard Age? Due Dec DC5
@sunlight81 Age? Due Dec DC2 & 3 TWINS!
@countingblessings 40 Due 21/12/20 DC2
@LJEva 42. Due 25/12/20 DC2
@Liese27 38 Due 9/01/21 DC2
@Clarkel1 39 Due 10/01/21
@footprintsintheslow 40 Due 10/01/21 dC3
@pinklillie 39. Due Jan DC1
@sk283 40. Due 21/01/21 DC2
@Antihop 42. Due 21/01/21 DC2
@mlctobe 41. Due 21/01/21 DC2
@Mummymilla Age? Due 24/01/21 DC3
@Viennoise 38 Due 26/01/21 DC1
@Louscarlet 39 Due 30/01/21 DC1
@MaryShelley1818 Due 09/02/2021 DC2
@Chickoletta* Due End of March DC3?

sheera ..great re the socket.

Naomi it's difficult if they are that far away that you have no option but..
Mum and I have a good relationship and when my other two were born I valued her staying with is for 2 weeks ..but exdp went back to running his business 2 days after the births and I needed her . If we didnt get on so well - I'd be tempted to suggest a hotel. Sometimes my dad stays in a hotel for this very reason.

Nowt happening here. More fanny daggers bump.pain and sore back.. no contractions though. Cant wait to be freed from the bump 😆 and meet him..

Morning all.

Welcome @jalu47

Looking at this list, I wonder where everyone else is. At least half of those people never post in this group.

@Sheera1 good news about your socket.

@Realladymarmalade Oooh only 3 days until due date for you! Exciting times, I hope he doesn't keep you waiting too long.

Nothing exciting happening here. Just boring work mainly. Boys are with their dad this week so we have a quiet house.
We picked up a cotbed yesterday so that's now in bits in the baby's room. I can't wait to get that room ready.
The cotbed came with a mattress (second hand). I know you're not supposed to use second hand mattresses but the whole cot is in such good condition I'm wondering if we should hang onto it. I did tell DP not to bring it back with him but he forgot I'd said that, so we have it now.
Would you dump it? The recycling/eco side of me feels twitchy about throwing it away to go to landfill. Maybe I could give it to an animal shelter or something... Or we could keep it?

@Frazzlerock I'd just keep the mattress as a spare if you have room to store it, incase your new one gets pee, poo or puke on it. You could use the spare whilst the other one gets cleaned and dried. My friend gave us her Moses basket with a mattress in it and we bought a new one but keeping the one she gave us as a spare.

Good idea @NaomiB79. No idea where we'll store it but its a good plan. I've just bought a new mattress

Thanks @Frazzlerock.

Tricky to know what to do about mattresses. So many must go to landfill along with car seats as there isn't really a second hand market. Like you I hate the idea of the waste.

Even though I'm FTM I've picked up lots of things second hand, a baby bath, a sleepyhead and a bumbo seat. I've also been given a car seat from a friend - it's in really good shape and I know it hasn't been in an accident so I'm fine with it.

We've bought a new pram and crib as think we'll have a second so seems a good investment.

@jalu47 yeah... I think if we can keep the mattress as a spare then that would be a good compromise. Or give it to a shelter or animal rescue if its in our way.

I think I still have DS2's Bumbo from 11 years ago in the loft somewhere. And we have a spare now too as the previous owners of our house left their behind - it was (weirdly) under the bath. We didn't notice until we took the bath panels off to redecorate the bathroom. Such a strange place to keep it as the panels don't come away easily
Re car seat, I think I would if it was from a friend I trusted. I wouldn't from a stranger. In fact we did use a second hand one from family with DS2.

I'm also looking out for preloved cloth nappies as they're so expensive new - mind you, they do hold their value so not that much cheaper second hand tbh. Just received a couple in the post the other day, they're immaculate except for a bit of greying on the velcro and they smell strongly of washing powder but I'll be strip washing them anyway.

Oh dear, I tried so hard not to go crazy in the nursery but I really wanted a glider chair and guess what arrived this morning? Yep, a glider chair!

Realladymarmalade are you still getting induced tomorrow? Very exciting.

Still nothing happening here...

We have one @DufferedUp. I'm sitting in it now in fact. We've kept in downstairs as I think I'll be spending a lot of time feeding and watching telly throughout the day.
We've had it a few years now so its lovely to finally be able to use it and its extremely comfy!

@Frazzlerock @DufferedUp I was thinking about chairs too but don't love the look of the gliders / rockers. Have seen this armchair on made.com and considering it.. just think it will have more use post feeding but a bit concerned about how practical it is for feeding / comfort

Gorgeous chair @jalu47 the only thing is the arms are quite spaced apart. I like the way the arms on a glider are close together so you can easily switch sides when feeding. However, I do prefer the look of that Made chair and it would be used for many years

We had 2 chairs already that would have been perfectly fine for feeding, one from Ikea that looks quite like that Made one and a reclining one that we've had to find temporary homes for. I think I'm over compensating from when I had my twins and didn't get to do all the single baby things!

@jalu47 I bought a nursing rocker 2nd hand. Hoping it is ok but does feel quite tight and think I want more room when breastfeeding tbh. That chair looks amazing. One thing I would say is it looks very low and if you have a c section it will be hard to get up from especially when holding a sleeping baby, but only for the first few weeks. X

I have a 2nd hand and hardly used co sleeper. I think I will get DP to use his steam cleaner on the mattress just in case. It should be fine??????

I think I feel a bit less twitchy abut co sleeper crib mattresses @Sheera1 as the max a baby is ever in it is 6 months. We've not bought another mattress for our second hand Snuzpod as it is in extremely good condition -although I've thought about it. But a cot/cotbed mattress is likely to have been used for several years.

duffered how old are you twins ?

Sore back all night and practice contractions this morning on and off on my back. Had a 12 hour latent labour with DD so wondering if this will be the case again ?

Induction tomorrow but if I can progress hopefullly theyll just burst my waters and I won't need the pessary 🙏🙏🙏🙏

Realladymarmalade they are 15 so a huge gap! DH #2 is younger than me and had no kids of his own hence this one.

Yep I have a new DP also who was sooo broody..hes 37 to my 42. I actually only thought I'd have one DC...each time I swear it's my last..but this time medical procedures will ensure that !

My last dp was 12 years older and we were his second family.

Fucking mild contractions appear to have stopped..took a walk , had a warm hot tub, haven't had one for an hour..

Anyone got anything to say to impart some hope 😪🙈?