Thread 2 for us classed as more mature pregnant ladies

[AliasGrape]

Hi everyone.
I noticed our thread was about to fill up, so thought I’d start a new one quick. Hope that’s not too presumptuous of me and have to say thank you to @Sheera1 for starting the thread.

As the title says it’s a discussion thread for any pregnant women who are classed as that bit older for a mum to be.

Copying our list over so we can keep up. If you would like to join please copy and paste the list, adding your own details in date order.

Really hope I’m doing this right! 🙈

@Liveforholidays 40. Due 01/06/20 - Baby boy born 4th June 💙
@Ethellsmum 38. Due July DC5
@fool11 45, due July, DC2
@PregnantPorcupine, 38, due 29/07/20 DC1
@AliasGrape 40 Due 30/07/20 DC1
@stairgates Age 43 Due 5/08/20 DC12
@Dufferedup 42. Due Sep DC3
@Realladymarmalade Age? Due:29/08/20 DC (darling child)?
@Ferrylass 45. Due Oct? DC2
@3isthemagicnumber3 40. Due 16/10/20 DC3
@Brightonmaman 41. Due 19 Oct DC2
@LittleMiss7 38. Due 20/10/20 DC1&2.. TWINS!
@crispaddict99 40. Due 9/11/20 DC1
@Sheera1 41. Due 20/11/20 ds10
@onlyreadingneverposting8 44. Due 24/11/20 DC (darling child)?
@Frazzlerock age 41. Due 26/11/20 DC3 - 7th pregnancy
@EveningReflection 38. Due 04/12/2020 DC1
@MariaDingbat 40. Due 07/12/20 & FTM dc3
@AuntLucy 44. Due Dec
@passthemustard Age? Due Dec DC5
@sunlight81 Age? Due Dec DC2 & 3 TWINS!
@countingblessings 40 Due 19/12/20 DC2
@LJEva 42. Due 25/12/20 DC2
@Shroppy 38 Due 31/12/20 DC1
@Kiffers 42, due 01.01.21 - first child
@Liese27 38 Due 9/01/21 DC2
@footprintsintheslow 40 Due 10/01/21 dC3
@pinklillie 39. Due Jan DC1
@sk283 40. Due 21/01/21 DC2
@Antihop 42. Due 21/01/21 DC2
@mlctobe 41. Due 21/01/21 DC2
@Dia1212 40. Due 21/01/21 DC1
@Mummymilla Age? Due 24/01/21 DC3
@Viennoise 38. Due 26/01/21
@Louscarlet 39 due 30/01/21 DC1
@Celibacydidntwork 46 Due 31/1/21 DC3

Sex?? 😁

Morning all.

@Realladymarmalade any progression overnight?

TW...

I had a horrible dream last night. I dreamt we had another MC and it felt so real. All those horrific feelings of complete despair and devastation came flooding back. I've woken up feeling relieved it was just a dream but also still have those feelings floating around in my head.
I think its because I've been thinking about our last little one quite a bit lately. He is still being kept at Guys hospital as I had planned to collect him before we got pregnant again and before lockdown happened. I was going to take him to have a short service at our local crematorium and then have his ashes made into a piece of jewellery. He was only 9 weeks but the crematorium told me they can usually get ashes at this stage and were more than happy to give us a short service for free. I was keen to do that because he was going to be our last baby. We knew that we never wanted to go through that again so I needed to have something of him. Not sure if that sounds odd but I'm told people do do it.

Then, because we miraculously got pregnant again when we least expected it, and because we had such a rocky start to this pregnancy and lockdown on top of that, I haven't managed to go down there. I'm really anxy about travelling into London but they can't keep him forever.
I don't really know what to do. I know I will regret it if I don't pick him up. They will just cremate him with all the other babies that have come in for testing then fuck knows what they do with them - I feel sad I never had the chance to collect our little boy before him (I didn't know I could). But I am also not sure if I'm ready to go through all of that and organise everything. Its kind of now or never though really.

@Frazzlerock that sounds traumatic! I've had some awful nightmares this time round. One had me wake up on the verge of a panic attack and feeling quite on edge for a few days. I'm really struggling with sleep. And constantly worried about feeling the baby move when I wake in the night. I'm now only sleeping for an hour or so without waking up, then having to wait to feel baby move then going back to sleep for a while. My anxiety is very high!

Re the ashes - I'm sure you'd be safe to drive up and collect them if that's what you want to do.

Just going back to pushchairs has anyone actually been able to go look at any? And if so - where? I always used to go look at mothercare though not necessarily buy there but it's closed down now so not sure where to go...

@onlyreadingneverposting8 I think you're right, Ii just need to drive up there but can't be arsed with the congestion charge stuff and trying to find a parking space - not sure what parking at Guys is like. I think I need to email them back and ask them about parking.
Re baby moving, I can totally understand that anxiety! I find turning onto my left side for about 5 or 10 mins then onto my back usually shifts baby and he starts wriggling around again.

Re pushchairs, I already knew what I wanted and had planned to order it from John Lewis but they didn't have the colours I wanted. Then I was going to get it directly from the brand but they were also sold out for ages. Then I found that Natural Baby Shower website who were brilliant and we received it within 2 weeks.
I was never a fan of Mothercare, I don't know why. Is there a John Lewis near you? Can you go and test drive a few prams if you're not sure what to get and then order online elsewhere if they don't have the colours you want?

@Frazzlerock if you contact a funeral director they will pick up the baby for you and arrange everything for free. This happened for us and I was eternally grateful for the help. We were going to have ashes jewellry made but in the end we buried our daughter and planted a tree.

As for second hand cot matresses I've attached the lullaby advice for second hand ones. Our mattress came from the baby's cousin. It didn't even occur to me that it was second hand as they were such a close relative and not a stranger. But for this baby I'm getting new. I can't be sure they always used a waterproof cover as per the guidance and it's not that firm. I couldn't forgive myself if something happened.

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/mattresses-and-bedding/

Do you think they would @footprintsintheslow? I wasn't going to get a funeral directors involved. Maybe I will find out. Or just bite the bullet and book the day off work and drive into London one day. So annoying they took him all the way to Guys but its the nearest hospital that does karyotyping.

I saw that on the Lullaby Trust, its why I bought a new mattress for the cotbed. I think I will get a new one for the crib.

Although purse strings are well and truly closed now as our eldest cat has just been diagnosed with bladder stones and needs an op.
£2000!!! And our insurers will only pay a max of £1000 per illness FFS.
And of course we have to pay up front.

@Frazzlerock how old is the cat?

As for funeral directors yes I believe it's quite common place for all of them to offer this service for free. We are planning on making a small donation to Tommy's as a thank you on behalf of the funeral directors.

It's all very personal but we didn't want a service and the funeral director came and talked through all our options and the law for things like burial. You can bury in your own garden even but my dad has a small piece of land so we buried her ourself there. But the funeral director even offered to arrange the burial and helped with advice about coffins and suitable materials that can be included in a cremation.

They do these things every day and their expert advice really guided us through a horrific time.

@footprintsintheslow she's 12 now so not ancient but not a spring chicken either. She's always been a sensitive bugger and gets bladder infections if she's even slightly disgruntled. Last time she cost us £500 and it turned out there was nothing wrong with her, she was just being a stress head. At least this time we can actually fix something.
We have two younger cats (2 years old) and they've been so chilled and trouble free (so far)

That's really interesting about the funeral directors. It just never occurred to me to contact one. I have only spoken to the crematorium, who have been really lovely. I'm not actually that keen on an actual service but wasn't sure how it all worked with cremation so just went along with their suggestion. Thank you for sharing x

@Frazzlerock if you need to get to guys, I can recommend parking in elephant and castle and walking (about 15 mins). I go every 8 weeks for my Crohn's treatment and as I'm classed as vulnerable I've recently driven rather than use the train. I use the just park app to find a driveway to hire, it's about £7 for a couple of hours compared to about £25 at the NCP next to the hospital. Hope you make it there.

Good tip @jalu47 thank you!

@Frazzlerock wow only one of my cats have made it to 12so that seems old to me. However I've adopted a few wonky OAP's over the years that came to me at 14 and left one or two years later.

If you want to know anything or have questions about funeral directors I'm pretty open and happy to chat.

Oh really!? I thought they tend to live until about 16-18 years old. I'm just basing that off friends and family's cats though. Maybe it depends on breed. Phoebe (poorly cat) is part Bengal and the two little ones are half British short hair. All three are tabby.

I might well bend your ear about the funeral stuff. I've not actually mentioned it to DP yet. It's been so long now (we lost baby in Jan) and so much has happened since, I wonder if he's forgotten so I feel awkward raising the subject.

My cat made it to 22! I was sure my parents had replaced him with an animatronic! Think he was an exception though. He was a big chubby black and white Tom. Amazing hunter and total country cat. Would sometimes disappear for days. I got him when I was 6 and he was still going after I got married. ❤

Any news Realladymarmalade?

Still nothing happening here so all set for induction tomorrow hopefully. DH really doesn't want a Sept baby as it'd mean an extra year of nursery fees!

Hope everyone else is well.

22! Wow @Sheera1 that was one tough cat!

I had another disturbing dream last night. I dreamt I went for a walk up the high street I grew up near and found myself in a room with a single bed and a table and chair with information on it like you'd get in a hotel room such as how to get food to your room. There was also a book on the table with information on room rates and how to pay for utilities. Then someone came in the room to talk about my stay there. She said my mum had organised this place for me. I realised I was escaping something and couldn't go home and I suddenly felt really distressed as I just wanted to go home and be with my family and I was terrified I wouldn't see them again

I think it was after the stressful day I had yesterday worrying about paying for the bloody cat! That was mixed in with DP and I chatting about his sister doing a sponsored ration challenge for refugees late last night. I think my dream had me escaping some sort of trouble like a refugee.
Whatever it is I hope these dreams stop soon. I keep waking up feeling mega anxious which seems to stay with me throughout the day.

In happier news, do we have any more new babies yet!???

I had my 28 week midwife appt on Wednesday, everything is fine with the baby although it did take her about 5 mins to find the heartbeat which scared the life out of me! I spoke to her about not feeling much movement some days and having no real pattern, she said the baby moved when she was touching my belly and I didn't feel a thing! It makes it really hard to know if I should be worried or not about reduced movement because of my anterior placenta. She also said I would be induced on my due day if she wasn't here by then because I'm over 40. I got a call yesterday to say my iron levels were quite low so I need to go on iron tablets now, at least this explains why I'm absolutely shattered all of the time!

@NaomiB79 Great news!
FWIW DP can feel movement that I can't so always worth using your hands to feel around for little bumps.

I worry about reduced movements too. Gosh we can't get a worry free period can we. Thankfully I can feel lots of movement so once it starts up again I get some relief. It is an active baby so when it goes quiet I worry.

@naomiB79 I have a fungal anterior placenta so up high on the front. I find if I lie on my side and place my hand on my side rather than at the front I can feel him/her moving and will respond to me giving a wee stroke or pat but might be you placental is just in the way?

Weirdly my bump feels smaller. I also feel less huffing and puffing when turning in bed etc. Pretty sure it is meant to get harder not easier?? I wonder if because my bump popped out so quickly I have now developed some muscles for manouvering it?

I have my 28 week appointment on Wed and clexane fun at the hospital this morning. My midwife told me to take iron from 22 weeks as often by the time we need it it takes so long to build up we don't get much benefit. I then forgot to pick up my prescription as went on holiday but DP checked and it isn't there anyway. Oooops.

@Countingblessings and @onlyreadingneverposting8 are you the two worh clexane joys too? I remember the ice pack advice and going to try my belly I think as plenty padding there!

Fungal anterior placenta??? 😊🤦‍♀️😂😂 Damn autocorrect. Fundal. Fundal!

@NaomiB79 there is no real pattern to my baby's movement either! (27+3 here). I used at @Frazzlerock's trick last night though of shifting onto my back and then back onto my side when I woke in the night and that got baby to move (I can't get back to sleep until I feel movement). I also have an anterior placenta - I know when baby gets into certain positions I find it harder to feel movement - I'm guessing when baby gets behind the placenta!

Yes @Sheera1 I'm 12.5 weeks into doing the clexane injections now just put in a lovely repeat prescription 😬 I do mine in the tops of my legs. Do you have to continue postnatal? I do - for 6 weeks.

Hi @onlyreadingneverposting8 yes I think so. I am having a c section too so would get them anyway I think? So does it not matter where you inject them?

The nurse just did it near my belly button but actually there is not a long of fleshy bit there and it is quite hard in that area. I have plenty flab lower. She said 4 finger widths to either side of my belly button.tbh my bump make it hard to see what I am doing. Might need to get DP to do it.

It was stingy after! They only gave me ten so need to get prescription to the GP quickly. Hoping they give me at least a month supply.

Will def try your technique of the ice.

@Sheera1 I think you just have to do it somewhere fleshy. I was originally told not to do my stomach as I didn't have enough flesh there but I know most do do them in their stomach. Yes having a c section you'll have them whilst you're in hospital at very least. They are a bit stingy - don't rub it - it makes it worse!

Hi everyone!

@Sheera1 no injections here, although now I'm wondering if it's something I should have? My community midwife is a shocker so it wouldnt surprise me if it turns out something is missed. One of you other ladies told a story about your midwife earlier on this thread (sorry I forget who) and I was actually wondering if we had the same one!! I totally feel like she's just ticking off a checklist when I'm there, there's nothing personal about it at all.

Anyway back to injections... I got a supply of injections after my last c section, one a day and alternate sides of my tummy. It was to stop clotting? Is that the same as clexane?

@Frazzlerock sending you huge hugs. What a tough thing to deal with re: funeral. I dont have any advice but hope you find a solution that works for you and know we're all virtually holding your hand

Nothing exciting to report here. Feel like I've got mahooosive all of a sudden and today my lower back is really dull and achy and its travelling down my legs so feeling a bit sorry for myself. Still got 15 weeks to go, what state am I going to be in by then?!

Hope everyone else is doing well and we get some new baby announcements soon. And hope the new mums are settling into their new life ok. Oh, and I watched a youtube video on crochet just to see if I thought I could give it a go..... still dont think I'd be any good. I bet it's dead relaxing to do as well! Take care everyone xx

@Frazzlerock hope you get things sorted. Sending hugs.
@onlyreadingneverposting8 I think it was @Realladymarmalade who was taking clexane too. All gone quiet there. Things must be happening. Sending you good labour vibes Reallady.

I am getting clexane due to high BMI and age and so a moderate risk of VTE (blood clots). It is more the BMI I think. Going to try the first one myself today. Eeek. I am with you on the midwife care. Mine is lovely but seems really scary and feel I need to prompt her about things. Got 28 week check up this week but I had to tell her to book one in! 🙄. She thought I was seeing consultant but it was just daycare to get clexane. Going to ask about gestational diabetes test.

Also I am sure my bump is getting smaller and def no bigger than it was weeks ago. Things are getting easier to manoeuvre rather than the opposite way! It has been years but were they not normally seeing you every week or so and measuring fundal height? I have the chart in my pack but no-one has done it.