Do we dare have a thread about all the weird things that happened to you in pregnancy that they don't tell you about but then

[Twiglett]

when it does happen they nod sagely and go 'oh yes.. this happens to 1 in 100 pregnant women'

(and why is it always 1 in 100)

I am awaiting your opinions before posting the bizarre things that occurred during my otherwise totally healthy pregnancies

Oh yes: I (or rather those around me) have suffered enormously with The Rage. Exhausting, especially as I'm fairly mild-mannered and polite in the normal run of things. Snapping heads off left, right and centre nowadays.

Here's my weirdest one though: rather than sinking into a comforting wash of daytime TV and trashy novels, I've found that my brain has really started firing on all cylinders during pregnancy. I've completely lost interest in Heat and Neighbours (a shocking, and upsetting, state of affairs) and have instead been binging on heretofore unread classics of 20th century American literature, feeling deeply engaged in politics and demanding that people recommend new music to me. One friend said it was like I was going through a break-up and doing the redefining of self thing. Surely I am the freakiest freak of all?!

Am I being very dense? Why are we plucking nipples?

Has no one mentioned bleeding gums? is that too boring. I got through gallons of corsodyl. THEN grew this lump in my mouth, on the bottom of my teeth so i could poke it with my tongue, that got bigger and bigger about the size of a small pea in the end, on a stalk like a mushroom. Then one day it just came off. Blood everywhere!!!

The dentist gave it a name but I can't remember now.

I got fat!

I got stuck in a change room at sports power and needed help to get out, i just wanted to hide, my face was sooo red and my husband was a little red faced too, he never lets me into change rooms anymore i have to buy and then try. My belly isn't quite as big this time round so i should be ok..

Oooh it's funny reading this - there's so much none of my friends ever told me:

• how you actually feel your tummy muscles being stretched apart as your bump grows - bloody painful
• like blousy - sleep orgasms and in general more/better orgasms than normal- why does nobody ever tell you this? it's about the only decent pregnancy side effect there is
• excruciating pins and needles in my arms at 4am, every night since 12 weeks
• excessive continual burping (ugh)
• complete inability to do any real work and just spend the day on mumsnet instead

When haveing DS got V V large and took to wearing DHs black chenile jumper. Baby bump wore away the chenile all round the bump and it became a thread bare. At this point did not really care about how i looked so kept on wearing it.

2 months later after having DS went into town and overheard two assistants in a well know clothes shop laughing at 'the pregnant woman' who was huge and went round with the threadbare jumper on and how bad she looked....!

My fadge got sooo dry near the end it would rip the loo paper when wiping....

I thought I was dreaming about the orgasms but I've definitely had them - not that I'm complaining .

Love my super-long, super-strong nails

Hate the hairy line on my stomach and the fact that I can't turn over in bed without waking myself and husband up.