Do we dare have a thread about all the weird things that happened to you in pregnancy that they don't tell you about but then

[Twiglett]

when it does happen they nod sagely and go 'oh yes.. this happens to 1 in 100 pregnant women'

(and why is it always 1 in 100)

I am awaiting your opinions before posting the bizarre things that occurred during my otherwise totally healthy pregnancies

I had a bulging throbbing vein in my nethers that itched like mad. I was forever finding a quiet place so I could shove my hands down my pants and give it a scratch.

stuffed up nose generally
more colds than I've ever had in my life before
itchy eyes
had to stop wearing my watch because it made my wrist itch
sleep orgasms me too but brought on lots of BH so a mixed blessing
and slower growth of body hair towards end of pregnancy

My feet have got wider!

sometimes dd kicks and I think I here a sort of clicking sound - don't know what that is?

stuffed up nose/lots of phlegm - snoring!
dh had to sleep on couch for most of pregnancy.

feet got bigger - arches fell. ouch.

patches of darker pigment on face that never went away. dh STILL keeps telling me i have a dirty spot on my face.

hot flashes. heartburn all day every day for 9 months.

baby kicking at cervix endlessly.

never want to have sex again!

ahem

hair, um , growing..you know.. down there..

anybody else? couldn't see it because of the enormous belly then felt something in the shower one day almost down to my knees! almost died off!

pregnancy brain!

Sleep orgasms

hideous leg cramps while sleeping. Used to wake dh with bloodcurdling shrieks.

carpal tunnel so bad that i'd wake with both hands numb. Eventually had to sleep in wrist braces! Once was woken by the phone and dh died laughing at me flapping my hands like a seal trying to pick it up to answer.

stuffedup nose constantly

And my number one:

That you can get internal piles that make your poo bloody! Scared the bloody shit out of me the first time (pun intended...ewwww) and called dr in a panic.

Never wanting to see food again but still feeling so so hungry all the time. Hips feel like they are on fire, especially at night. Carpal tunnel syndrome so bad that somedays I cant hold a pen when at work. Being so very tired all the time (But am getting use to that now) Very sensitive and ocasionaly itchy nipples. Extremely dry skin on the back of my hands.

At 5 months thinking, "well arent I doing well, no stretch marks, then wake up a couple of days later and there they are!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So glad to hear that the night orgasms are a normal occurance, was a bit shocked the first time it happened!!

Good things that I have experienced are my nails are lovely and strong and grow so fast that I have to cut them down twice a week........My hair looks lovely and thick at the moment also

LOL at cold Nips. I have to go into a cold room at work and it was agony! My assistant laughed when I started tying a scarf around my chest before I put on my coat

One good and unexpected side effect was that I lost all my allergies - no hayfever, excema or migraines - bliss!!!!!!

Oh and dribbling in my sleep

Can I get some of those nocturnal orgasms cos my lack of libido has caused a distinct dearth?
Allergies a million times worse, have to massage my nipples to go back to my desk at work as someone always leaves all the loo windows wide open. People would be hanging their coats on them if I didn't.

First 2 pgs fairly straightforward, the usual thread veins, stretchmarks and leg cramps.

This time - blimey! Lumpy bumpy swollen bits (poss varicose veins but am not getting them out for MW to check, they'll see enough of that at the birth), night orgasms, SPD, painful VVs in calf, slow leg hair growth (actually had that with DS2 too), more moody (either very happy, very cross or very tearful), can't sleep, etc...

No cravings with any of them though apart from I couldn't stop brushing my teeth with DS2, especially the gums at the back!

-dribbling when sleeping
-dreaming of exDH - yuck!
-a sort of pinging sound coming from bump
-standing up in front of 170 people to do a presentation with cordless microphone attached and getting kicked in the cervix - first words out of my mouth - 'ouch that hurt' -
-sore boobs that couldn't be touched for 25 weeks
-up every hour on the hour at night to pee (getting more sleep with a 6 week old than i did when pregnant)
-hairy tummy!

I've got the hairy tummy! And I'm not even particularly hairy anywhere else - DH had a fit when he saw it!

So how d'you get these nocturnal orgasms then? I could put up with that...maybe when I'm asleep I wouldn't find the whole sex business so offputting!

I can second the sitting in a serious meeting being kicked and biting your tongue so you don't say out loud 'oi, that bloody hurt' or 'ok, I asked for movement, I've got movement. Point taken!'

knitting needles - dh almost fainted when i described to teh midwife that i felt like someone was shoving knitting needles up my fanjo and the midwife just nodded sagely and said 'ah yess the knitting needles'

anyone else suffer hideous endless burping? Great loud joke sounding burps would burst out of me unexpectedly when last pg. I counted nearly 200 in about 12 hours once. It never went away entirely once she was born and I'm pg again now...

Splishsplosh

Yep, I had the burping, really funny ones too.

I never knew that it was possible to be sick whilst driving (bowl on my lap or on passenger seat) and that I'd be having to pull over to throw up.

I din't know that you could get internal bruising from hyperemesis just because of the frequency and force of the vomitting.

I had nipples "like chapel hat pegs" as the saying goes from about week 5. They used to sting and throb when the shower water pinged off them.

baby hiccuping - atm it creates a really funny sensation in my back passage!!

Still here then floss?

runny nose
addiction to hula hoops (first time) and pink grapefruit juice (second time)

oh, i had the burping too! was like homer simpson!

My fadge went as dry as a bone and I used to tear actually tear the loo roll with it when wiping after a wee, thats how dry it was!!!!

Yup IGW - off to st M's for another sweep and baby healthy check tomorrow morning and then induction mon/tues. Seems so ironic that I'm heading for a more medicalised birth second time around somehow! My body is obviously quite thick as its showing no signs of 'remembering' last time!

I was never bit by mosquitos/insects before I was pg. Still do now unfortunately.

Shingles! (am I the only one?). The worst pain I've ever experienced (labour included), ruined a beach holiday and left permanent scars on my face....

I hope all pregnant ladies don't get anxious about this, it's obviously not very common .

Some of the above and threw up everytime I tried to clean my teeth. I couldn't get the toothbrush in my mouth without retching and choking.