Do we dare have a thread about all the weird things that happened to you in pregnancy that they don't tell you about but then

[Twiglett]

when it does happen they nod sagely and go 'oh yes.. this happens to 1 in 100 pregnant women'

(and why is it always 1 in 100)

I am awaiting your opinions before posting the bizarre things that occurred during my otherwise totally healthy pregnancies

Oh another one too. They dont tell you whether or not you have to pluck your nipples if you want to breastfeed. I want to ask my mw that but i'm too to even attempt to ask her!!

Susie -

I don't really know when it starts; but within about 20 mins of me being admitted to the birth room, my mat was covered in blood...the midwife said it was because I was dilating. So I wouldn't have been very far along (2cms?)

You bleed during delivery too, of course

GOD I LOVE THIS THREAD. .

I was scared of the kitchen! ! Could only eat raw food, the washing made me wretch, had horny thoughts about any man, any race and frighteningly any AGE.

Dreams included not being able to find nappies in the supermarket, giving birth to many babies at the same time, husband giving birth and telling me I was not the mother, the worst one giving birth but not being able to take the baby home, cant think why now.

The smell of alcohol and beer made me turn green and the worst thing, could not say the word milk or describe it without wretching.

I still have problems dealing with milk, and hated it when stopped breast feeding as the formula would make me heav too.

And I am thinking of doing it all again soon

Oh and i am covered in skin tags around my neck, can they be removed i wonder

the FARTING!!!!

Oh the smell of the farting, what is THAT all about

and that's got worse since I was prescribed pregaday for low iron... almost scary!!

Had to bump this thread, as I seem to discover new and weird and unexpected things about being pregnant everyday:

The way you don't feel very intelligent - how your formerly inquiring and incisive mind turns to mush, needing no more stimulation than (wonderful) daytime telly (Charmed on Living TV is a particular favourite of mine.

The fact that your baby thinks your bladder is a space hopper/a trampoline/ a punching bag.

Feeling sleepy all day and then not being able to sleep for more than a couple of hours at a go at night.

Hunger - a very primal, driving sort of hunger which means that the only thing you can focus on is how to get hold of food - especially at 3 am.

Everyone telling you how you should be feeling now you're pregnant (even if you feel totally different) - and everyone telling you stories of their own pregnancy and/or that of someone they know and expecting you to be interested.

Feeling very self absorbed and introspective...

Feel totaly the same as you Lightwind. LO just loves headbutting my bladder!!

Oh and you hear loads about needing to pee all the time, but no one tells you that as you get further on in your PG that althought you will still need wee all the time you cant actually empty your bladder.

Lots of night orgasms and seem to be growing some kind of ginger-ish forest on my tummy that DP insists I shave as he is outraged. How does he think I feel about it.

So pleased I am not alone in the hairy tummy thing. DH keeps stroking it and saying "No, really it's sweet, you're like a little bear!" It's not THAT MUCH!
Also, waking up one morning at about 14 weeks to find that NOTHING fits. NOTHING. Went to bed a size 10 and woke up a 14 with a bump. Had to wear DH's tracksuit bottoms next morning to quickly buy some clothes!

Night orgasms! I had them too with DS (tho sadly not this time) accompanied by bizarre sexual dreams like a threesome with the Beckhams, or being a man and having homosexual sex!

Never expected colostrum at less than 4 wks PG - even before I got a HPT+. Even went to Dr thinking I had a tumour in my pituitary gland (damn internet self diagnosis sites!) and he didn't even ask if I might be PG but did the nodding yes-its-unusual-but-it-can-happen thing.

Oh, and I had the big lips too (not oral ones!)

Also grateful for an excuse for my always hairy tummy PG or no PG!

Ooops meant to say.... did the nodding yes-its-unusual-but-it-can-happen thing when I went back a week later with a HPT+!

Oh I had to go to the loo I was laughing so much at these!

Isn't it great to know we're not freaks afterall?!

I've had:

sexy dreams
chronic dribbling
swigging Gaviscon from the biggest bottle available
hairy tummy
achey and swollen hands
swollen feet and ankles
slower growing leg hair
wierd dreams about the baby. The worst was that after the first night home, I realised I hadn't fed the baby all night, and it was in it's own room, so I was convinced it would have starved. So I went in and it sat up and said 'Good Morning!'...!!!

But... I have not had:

stretch marks - I'm due today so hopefully I won't get them at all!
lina negra
no idea about changed skin colour - there's no way I can see and dh hasn't mentioned it...!

Oh yeah and although it's great to have a cleavage for once, I keep finding the remains of my dinner down there when I go to bed...

OMG! Another tick for the hairy tummy. I hate it!

Was a long time ago, but on DS2 as an older mum, I had so much of the hormone that loosens your muscles floating around my blood stream that my pubic bone loosened and went walkabout.
Craving Grannysmiths apples and mint imperials. Heaving everytime I smelt larger.
Boobs that went so big the tape measure wasn't big enough to around, over 60".
Dreaming that there were fairies dancing in a ring around the light shade and actually waking DH up to get them down before 'they hurt themselves'.
Being proud of the fact that I was still supple enough at 38 weeks and over 17stone to be still able to touch toes. But not easily enough to cut toenails, had to get DH to do that.

I forgot, having my very own wine glass holder by standing the base of the glass on my bump and propping the stem between my boods. Not being able to reach the dinner plate in last month and having to prop the dinner plate on bump and hope the it didn't get kicked off.
Always smelling buring insulation.

Moles get bigger!

All day sickness (but without actual vomiting) that sends you from 'can't eat a thing' to 'eat everything in sight' in the 5 minutes it recedes, making everyone think you are just a bit fibber and attention seeker!

Relief to see other 'sleep orgasms'! In fact orgasms in general, bigger and better than usual!

I'm feeling cheated as I have the sleep orgasms but I used to get them before anyway & they're not as good now. Darn it.

More weird stuff...

Skin tags
Spots
Feeling totally uncommunicative and not picking up the phone when people call, even close friends
Greasy hair
Wanting to go right back to bed after the exhausting process of having a shower
Wind - lots of it...
Itchy bits... in unmentionable places
Night sweats, and dribbles
Lying down for a much needed nap, then trying to get up only to find that my hips and legs have 'frozen' and I can't move - probably spd
Walking like a telly tubby once I do get vertical
Feeling the urge to cook things I've never cooked before... and spending an awful lot of time doing it.

Hairy EVERYTHING. And it never goes away. And RGpargy, you can pluck nipples if you want to breast feed. It's obligatory!