Late October babies - 3

[Mc3209]

To continue our conversation! ☺️

@DressingGown87 so glad you shared your list! So helpful especially when, like me, it’s your first and you have no idea 😂

For all those struggling with hip ache etc, my coccyx is playing up massively but I was born with hip dysplasia. The midwife has recommended buying a doughnut cushion as that allows your hips to sit perfectly level as opposed to leaning on one when crossing legs etc. Fingers crossed that works!

Regarding the wine talk, I’m so glad I’m not the only one dying for a glass. Trust me when I say, you need to get yourself down to Tesco for a bottle of their NEW Nosecco. Sweeter than Prosecco, bubbly and just like having a glass of wine at night. Plus at £2 a big bottle I might just stick with it post baby 😂😂

Felt baby boy kick so strongly last night in bed, first time I’ve felt him properly and have told myself it was to say Happy Birthday to his Daddy for today. 🥰

@FirstSurprise001 I had a glass of wine last night, sitting out on the terrace with some cheese and crackers. I've only had a couple throughout this pregnancy and only very small glasses so I don't feel any guilt. It was AMAZING.

Has anybody decided when they re going on maternity leave? Originally I was thinking September but with baby brain and how uncomfortable my joints might get I m considering taking it in August.

@1990shopefulftm I've been wondering this too. Originally I was thinking of starting it two weeks before my EDD, then I was considering taking two weeks annual leave before the mat leave kicks in, so that I'd be off for a month potentially before the little one arrives. But now Im thinking, if I'm still going to be WFH I may as well save the annual leave and just work as long as I can!
My brain's a mess already haha

@KitKatKit is there a date at all you have to know when you might have to go back into work?
I have no idea so considering taking it earlier in case I d be expected to be back in the office but if not then I m happy to be at home longer, but then it's 28 days notice to change the start date so it's certainly a tricky decision.

@FirstSurprise001 thank you! I will have to try that drink a go. My friend is making me some non alcoholic raspberry gin 😍 Lovely that you felt him kick last night, happy birthday to your DP!

@1990shopefulfrm my EDD is 20/10. My MAT leave starts on the 12/10, I’m taking 2 weeks of annual leave before that. But I’m part time furloughed from July, so work 2 days a week from home, which I can do whenever. I’m take full leave, plus 6 weeks unpaid, and 2 weeks annual at the end. So expected return date is the 7th September 3.5days per week.

Maybe have a chat with your manager and see why your working arrangements may be before making a decision? Whether you will be required back in the office or not. I’ve already said that my date might more forward if I have ECS at 34 weeks, but will add this on to my unpaid leave.

Hi, I just wanted to see if anyone had any advice. I've been with my company since January 2019, I'm a senior domiciliary health care assistant I've always been on a 0 hour contract but worked about 30/35 hours a week. I took some annual leave at the end of March, which finished April 27th I then self isolated for a week with a sicknote. I've told my employer at the beginning of May that I would like to come back to work, he said that my round and the work I was doing before someone else is doing it and I can't have that back which is totally understandable. He said that he will sort something out with me and be in touch, I've emailed him every few days for updates and he said he's working on it. I'm struggling without work! They're not furloughing, I have no idea what to do, i wanted to work until August and then take maternity leave. Pointless applying for jobs nobody wants to employ someone 18 weeks pregnant that's if I even got a job. I have the mortgage and bills to pay I can't live in limbo I don't know what to do

I've tried a couple of non alcoholic white wines, when chilled they're just about right. The Becks blue beer isn't bad either, just tastes like a standard European lager (not usually a beer drinker but tried a friend's and was quite impressed!) Might have to try the Tesco nosecco...

I'm down to start maternity at the end of September, seeing as my first was born 2 days after finishing work I'm not wanting to wait too long... Saying that no idea if I'll actually be back at work before then so who knows!

@DressingGown87 my manager doesn't have a clue when we might be going back, I don't think the CEO has made any decision about it yet. However, the decision to have everyone work from home was a quick one so I m conscious that if I pick a date, I won't be able to change it to earlier as I won't have the 28 days warning.

I ve barely used any annual leave this year so got over 3 weeks left to use, I suppose it's I plan to take it early just in case and I ve figured out the finances for leaving in August and it's not that bad paywise for the first two months.

Sounds like you ve got a good plan for your leave sorted.

@SamK93 Arguably they've given work away whilst knowing you were pregnant and had sick leave related to it, I'd speak to citizen advice for the legal perspective as to whether they could even do such a thing.

You should be entitled to maternity allowance as you've worked more than enough in the time you would need to to get it. I'd look into payment holidays and going through everything you can get cancelled to give you some breathing space.
I'm sorry you've been treated so badly by your work

@1990shopefulftm thanks a lot for your advice, I really appreciate it. I think I will speak to the bank tomorrow regarding payment holiday, initially I didn't want to do it as I've heard interest rate is high but it's definitely something I need to consider now. I've had to cut down on some direct debits today, it just makes me feel like crap. Hubby's been self employed since september but he wasn't entitled to the grant because he wasn't self employed for tax year 2018/2019 so that was a kick in the teeth. I think my employers argument will be the fact I've always known it's a 0 hour contract so I can't do anything about it. It's a shame I enjoy my job and just want to get back into it. I've got my 8 year and 4 year old at home too, I just feel like everything's getting too much for me right now, I've just had a horrible lack of energy to do things and it's not fair on the kids either. Sorry about the moan but nobody seems to understand

@SamK93 don't apologize, it's completely understandable you re upset. The mortgage holidays don't have crazy high interest added from what I understand. Have you checked about getting universal credit? Maybe your husband could get a temp job anywhere for now for some breathing space?

@1990shopefulftm I just have these off days sometimes, the joys of pregnancy. Yeah that's what he's doing he's looking for some part time work at the moment anything he can get his hands on would help right now. I think universal credit is my only option right now so I might apply later on and see if I'm entitled because I can't carry on just waiting for a phone call from work, telling me they have something for me now. Thank you for your advice I really appreciate it

@SamK93 glad to help, hope things get easier.

@1990shopefulftm I was planning on working right up until the due date (18/10), but taking annual leave from the beginning of October so we're covered in case a little someone wants to make an early appearance. Also planning on using the rest of my annual leave to work shorter weeks in the run up to October.

That's what I'm thinking at the moment anyway...I may change my mind nearer the time!

@SamK93 I am sorry you are in such position, it's a tricky one. I would actually video call your employer to discuss your work situation. It's more difficult to wriggle out of giving straight answers face to face than over the email. And I would keep having those video meetings until he comes up with something specific. If this fails, is there a union you can ask?

@SamK93 sorry to hear that your in such a stressful position with employment. Hopefully they can find you another position, and you can return to work. I would also suggest speaking to Citizens advice, and applying for UC even if this a temporary measure. Try stay in touch with your employer, but seems like your doing everything you can, to try retain contact. Hope you managed to get something sorted, and things get easier for you.

@Mc3209 that actually sounds like a good idea, I need an actual date or something solid at least because I'm just sick of hearing "soon", it's coming up to a month now. I will ring up head office tomorrow too and just see what they say. Thank you

@DressingGown87 thank you, I'll definitely be contacting citizens advice tomorrow. I really appreciate your advice x

@SamK93 That's a horrible situation to be in. Did your employer know you were pregnant (sorry if I missed that) when all this happened? If so he's likely to be breaching discrimination laws. Have a look at the maternity action website, also the pregnant then screwed organisation might have some information for you. X

@Flora20 yes he was aware I was pregnant I told him it's the reason being I wanted to take some time off due to the corona virus we work with the elderly and vulnerable I didn't want to put myself and others at risk. Thank you so much I'll definitely have a look into those two x

@SamK93 Sorry to hear you're experiencing this.
Following what @Mc3209 said, make sure you follow up every video call with an email along the lines of "Thanks for your time over video today, as discussed, XYZ..."
That way you have a paper trail of the conversation too and they can't try and ignore it happened!

@KitKatKit I've not actually done that before, I will definitely take your advice and follow up each call just to document everything. Thank you so much for the advice.

@SamK93 I phoned the advice bureau today and they were very helpful and very prompt in calling back after leaving a message. They have logged my queries on the system and just waiting for a call now from my local CAB. Not a service I've used before.

TMI coming up:
Since yesterday I am having a brown tinged discharge, instead of the usual pregnancy white/transparent. There is no red blood/clots, but I have right sides abdominal pain which got written off as ligaments/muscles stretching when I saw GP few days ago.
I am 17+5 today, can feel the baby kick daily so far. I am very uneasy about this brown discharge, where is that old blood coming from?!
Anyone had anything similar?
I will wait until the this afternoon to see if it changes and if it doesn't I will call triage.