Pregnancy after Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Starting a new thread for all of us that find ourselves pregnant again after one or more heartbreaking losses. I know it is really hard to join a pregnancy thread after miscarriage and we all fear the worst will happen again, but let's go on this journey together and hold hands along the way.

This is a safe place for all the ladies on the first pregnancy missed miscarriage thread and for any newcomers who want to join - you are all most welcome! All of the ladies on here have suffered one or more miscarriages and most of us have had particularly difficult losses, such as mmc and other complications. You don't need to be pregnant again to join - you are also most welcome if you have had a loss and are trying again. But we will be sharing scan photos and details of the new pregnancies, in case anyone might find that to be triggering.

Tagging @Catconfusion @Amanda81 @Kiki061190 @3204ECL @Babypending @Ginmonkey84 @MrsMGE and please add anyone else I may have left off. Without further ado, let's start the roll call.

About me: Age 31, trying for my first baby. Previous mmc at 12 weeks in February (hb stopped at 9+4), this turned out to be a partial molar pregnancy and I was monitored by CX hospital for three months. CP in March.

Now 9 weeks, EDD in March, if I make it that long. Oscillating between hope and extreme anxiety every day!

Hi everyone, new here, I was in a ttc after a loss thread but left due to being in a bad place. A year after my suspected ectopic I am 5 weeks pregnant.
My head is all over the show, I can't switch off and the next 2 weeks I have to wait for my scan is feeling like 2 years. Wish I could shake this bad feeling and be slightly happy about this. Anyone relate?

Hi @Tiniestsky so sorry you're feeling anxious - I genuinely think the first trimester is just so so hard! Really hope scan goes well! I had an epu scan at 6 weeks due to spotting and saw the heartbeat then so you might be able to see on a private scan, but I know the early ones aren't as cheap as later on because they're transvaginal!

I only had the one private scan at 10 weeks as then I bled massively at 15 weeks so had 2 to check everything was ok (apparently you can bleed massively at that point and baby literally not care in the slightest!). Then from 17 weeks on I've seen my midwifes weekly to listen to the heartbeat which has stopped me freaking out all the time!

I also have an anterior placenta so even now at 25 weeks I barely feel any kicks - I just really really want things to settle into a pattern so I know he's ok in there!

@Tiniestsky Welcome! Congrats on your new pregnancy. It’s amazing news! I think all the ladies here understand the anxiety around a new pregnancy.

@Catconfusion I’ve just realised I never tagged you in my last message 😅 5 sleeps now until your scan 💓

@sadtoday21 Hey gal!? How are you getting on? Have been thinking of you! How’s the anxiety? Have you felt any more movement recently?

@Kiki061190 thanks for asking after me! I'm doing ok, starting to feel baby 3-4 times a day now and monitoring him as much as I can. Had a moment of anxiety where I thought he was moving less, but I think I was just tired and busy (some sweets and lying down got him going again). The movement thing is both stressful and reassuring. Hard to believe I'll be 24 weeks on Thursday, its a scary milestone to reach! How are you doing? How's baby girl? Your 20 week scan is coming up, right?

@Bipbop2020 I have anterior placenta too, how do you do kick counts? When did you start monitoring movements?

@Tiniestsky sending you hugs and thinking of you!

@Catconfusion what are you up to these days? Hope all is well and you are feeling good!

@bananamonkey have you found out the gender yet? How are you feeling?

@Amanda81 how are the antenatal classes going? Have you learned anything useful? Do you use a kick counting app by any chance?

I'm 23+3 today and starting to feel baby a bit more frequently during the day. I bought my first two things for baby - a cute stuffed rabbit and a ten pound changing table! Also went to John Lewis and looked at all the cribs/prams - so expensive, but I found the same brands cheaper online. Think we will go with the schnuggle moses basket and rocking stand in the end, I really liked how much you can rock baby in it and we don't need a next-to-me cot since our bed is in a loft anyway. Will hold off on buying bigger things for awhile still, but it was fun to take my mind off worrying for a minute.

@sadtoday21 Oh it’s so hard to know if they are ok in there! Glad you’re feeling movement now. I’m sure I’m feeling movement but it’s so hard to know if it is for sure. I could definitely feel baby girl squirming around this morning. My stomach went harder at one side so I’m assuming her head or bum was curled up there! I don’t think I’ve felt proper kicks but I have felt little pop like feelings which I’m hoping is baby! So sporadic though and when I’m at work I’m so busy I wouldn’t even notice if baby was moving!

I think it’s amazing you are now buying things. I’ve picked out the silver cross pioneer and the next to me magic bedside crib for baby. We’re waiting until after the 20 week scan which falls on Black Friday to see if all is ok first. I have been guilty of buying baby girl lots of little outfits though. Can’t help myself!

Hey @sadtoday21 - so pleased to hear that you are feeling movements...and almost 24 weeks! Wow! Amazing! Also busying equipment! You've got this nailed. Have you started counted down yet? Only 16 weeks to due date, and will be here before you know it. I know exactly what you mean about movements, equally wonderful and anxiety fuelled at the same time. My little ones movements have not really ever been in a pattern which has caused much worry, but once the movements get stronger it does help. I also found as she has grown the movements have changed in sensation...prepare yourself for the changes and try not to worry, he will have less room to move as you get beyond 30 weeks. Also, look out for repetition in movement as you might be feeling hiccups...mine currently has these as I am sitting writing this.

I'm 34+2 today. Have the MW on Thursday where I will be 34+6. It's getting very close now. Her kicks are still low and I can feel her head and body towards my ribs and left hand side...she is still feet down. I think the MW will start to plan for a scan at 37 weeks to confirm her position. One step at a time, but I am starting to consider that this may mean that they will be considering a CS. My bump is all baby aswell, doesn't feel like there's a lot of room for her to move around in there. Preparing for either scenario is a little tough, but have got myself into the mindset that you just have to give yourself over to it and what will be, will be. The antenatal class was good on the second one, we covered breast feeding. I would like to attempt to breast feed. Are you considering BF'ing? Xx

@sadtoday21 so glad to hear you are feeling better and getting some movements!

Don't know the sex yet, holding out for my 20 week scan which is 2 weeks today, so close yet so far! I really can't wait to get it out of the way, don't know if this makes any sense but it feels like the next big milestone after which I can relax a bit more. At the moment I still can't think about an actual baby being here, I keep catching myself feeling happy/excited and feeling guilty about it, like I'm not allowed to until I know the scan shows everything OK, even though my brain has already lined up the next thing to stress about (pre-term labour/stillbirth). I can't wait to actually enjoy it.

I'm so jealous of your tiny bump @Kiki061190 I feel like I look like a whale . I've also developed a lovely rash on my bump today

Hi @Tiniestsky! Congratulations, I think everyone here has felt exactly the same. I'm still struggling to let myself feel happy instead of anxious but the scans have helped a lot, hope you can keep your mind busy while you wait.

Hi @bananamonkey I think it’s amazing you’ve held out until the 20 week scan. I know what you mean about the next milestone. I’m nervous for the 20 week scan which is next Friday. I think I’m starting to feel baby girl squirming about which is an odd sensation! I feel like I just look bloated but I can still get in my jeans. It’ll come though, I can feel it growing and I know I’ll be pulling out the maternity jeans soon enough. This is your second pregnancy so you’ll be showing earlier. I bet you look fabulous!

@Catconfusion Hey gal! How are you? How’s bump doing? Scan in only 4 sleeps!

Hey @Kiki061190 bump is great thanks. I had physio yesterday and I already have pelvic girdle pain due to my underlying issues and the size of bump. Really looking forward to Friday now. It’s been so nice the last few weeks to do more and enjoy being pregnant. We even went to London for Secret Cinema. I’m waddling and not able to walk too far but coping pretty well. How are you feeling? Not long until your scan either. So good you’re feeling squirming.

Hey @bananamonkey great to hear from you. It’s so hard to not worry about the next potential things that could go wrong. Not sure if you saw but two celebrities had second trimester miscarriages this week. I won’t go into details but people say how uncommon it is and then someone else has one making it seem more common. I still think it is pretty unlikely though social media makes it seem more likely. I think I’m just going to stay away from any sources that might make me anxious as I’m feeling good at the moment.

I hear you on the bump front. Mine is massive which is surprising since it’s my first and I’m not weighing much more than I did before. The lady at physio said I might not grow too much more. Maybe you’ll be the same.

@Amanda81 thanks for all the information on later movements. I’m still not really feeling much other than a little popping and pulsing. Just can’t wait to feel something more definite. You’ve got such a good mindset about the birth. It’s tricky to prepare when it could go either way but it sounds like you’ve covered all bases and are as ready as you can be. Keep us posted.

Wow @sadtoday21 it’s fantastic you’re nearly 24 weeks. Hopefully it will be a relief and ease some anxiety knowing baby is fully formed. Your chances of something going wrong are so much less now. I know the anxiety won’t go away completely but hopefully with the movements and getting to this point you’re feeling better!

As for me, I’m doing well. Just navigating the few days we have left until the scan. I’m keeping as busy as I can. Our pram came the other day so that was exciting. We managed to get the carry cot and change bag for £50 on eBay barely used. So it’s £1000 worth of pram for £650. We’re pretty pleased. Some friends have given us loads of baby stuff so we’ve stored it all away for now. It’s odd having the stuff before the scan but I’m not superstitious and should the worst happen we’ll deal with it. It’s just nice to live in hope rather than fear. Hope you’re all doing well! Xx

@Catconfusion I’m looking forward to hearing what your 20 week scan is like! I know they check everything but it will be so interesting to hear. It’s a shame you have PGP already, I hope it doesn’t continue to give you too much hassle for the next 20 weeks. Amazing deal with your pram, I am hoping if all goes well next Friday I can order mines before Christmas. I read about Hilaria Baldwin this week which was such a horrible loss. She’s at the same point as us in pregnancy and i would be lying if I said it didn’t make me nervous. I’m determined after the 20 week scan to enjoy the rest of the pregnancy if all goes well. Time is certainly passing quicker now. Are you planning on revealing the sex of the baby to your family?

@Kiki061190 I will let you know how it goes. TBH it’s pain I’ve had before the pregnancy due to my hips but a little worse now and called PGP because I’m pregnant. They gave me a tummy band and that’s really helping to support the bump. Hopefully it will be ok. It’s difficult to say with my underlying issues but might be absolutely fine.

It’s a great time to order baby stuff. The Egg hardly ever goes in sales so we took the deal while we could.

I think it’s great that celebrities are being so honest. James Van Der Beek’s wife just lost her baby too. It was due in April so must be similar to us. It’s so tragic and unlucky. DH was saying they’ve both had a lot of kids so surely unlucky to happen to us first time round. I explained to him it can happen to anyone that late on regardless but thankfully is uncommon. It sometimes worries me how excited he is about baby. He literally won’t entertain any worry about it not working out.

I feel like I’m in a good place with it. I’m pretty confident it will be ok but also just keep in mind there are still risks and hurdles to get over. I’ve just come to realise worry and anxiety makes it difficult to enjoy pregnancy so I’m letting it wash over me as much as I can and enjoying baby. Xx

Thanks @Catconfusion I had seen brief mentions of them but hadn't paid attention to the details so didn't know what stage they were. TBH I think it's great that it brings MC out into the open more, I really struggled when it happened with not feeling like it could be talked about openly, then you find out it's affected so many people you know but it's still taboo, it's crazy. Like you say I will try and stay away from anxiety sources and try to focus on the positive, I'm really enjoying feeling the movements as it's so different from my previous experience. Think I might join a pregnancy yoga class after the scan, I won't have an antenatal class group this time so will be nice to be sociable after feeling like hiding away all year!

@banamonkey I think it’s amazingly brave of the celebrities concerned. The backlash both have received is awful at such a difficult time. We all have the ability to switch off social media if we’re feeling vulnerable or unfollow. There is so much stigma about mc and some people still think the woman must have done something wrong if it happened. It’s nice to see celebrities showing the general public they’re just people trying to build a family and not exempt from the personal tragedies we all face.

I’m so pleased you’re getting movements. I’m loving the little pops I get now and again. Yoga sounds great. I’ve been told by physio I can’t do yoga so I’m looking for an aqua fit class. We’re doing antenatal in February so looking forward to that. Xx

@Catconfusion I agree with both you and @bananamonkey, I think it’s great celebrities are being more open about the subject. It’s so hard going through a loss and so many people do it in private. We’re almost at the 20 week mark ladies! I can’t believe we are at that half way point already. I found the first 12 weeks a drag and since then it has been so quick! @bananamonkey are you finding out what the sex of the baby is? I can’t wait to hear what both of you are having.

Yes I’ll be finding out @Kiki061190 although my parents don’t want to know 🙄 They didn’t last time but my DB spilled the beans. They live far away so it makes it easier but still it’s a PITA!

@Kiki061190 we thought we’d do some kind of gender reveal for family on Christmas Day. Not a cheesy one with confetti, something else. Not sure what. Xx

Aww @bananamonkey my in laws thought they didn’t want to know and now that we know and my mum does they are desperate to know. Well do the same as you @Catconfusion and do an Xmas day reveal for them!

Ladies, can I ask how my much maternity leave yous are planning on taking and when you are planning on finishing up?

@Kiki061190 I’m not sure how they expect my 3 yo to keep a secret though 🤔

I’m taking a year I think, probably from the end of March if I can take some annual leave first. DD was a few days early so I’m expecting the same. Last time I had nearly 5 weeks off before the birth as I had tonnes of holiday to use and it was bliss. Lovely to have time washing and sorting all the baby clothes, batch cooking for the freezer and the luxury of naps.

Hi all. Hope you don't mind me joining this thread. Can I ask everyone how long it took after there MC to get pregnant again? I had a MC over 2 weeks ago so still all very fresh and raw x

@bananamonkey haha that’s true about your three year old! I am also thinking about taking a year. My maternity package at work is not the best but also not half bad either. I could definitely manage and I’m sure I’ll want the time with baby girl.

@mlax hi there! Welcome, sorry for your loss. It took me 2 months to get pregnant after a MMC. I had my first AF 35 days after MMC.

Hi @mlax, so sorry for your loss It took me 6 months but I had a few chemical pregnancies in between as I think my uterus needed some time to recover from the surgery, I think I’m in the minority though and most women catch sooner.

Hey everyone, just checking in to see how you all are doing.

@Catconfusion is your 20 week scan today? If so, good luck!! Will be thinking of you Xxx.

@Kiki061190 I have a feeling your scan is approaching too, are you feeling regular movements now? On the topic of leave, I'm not actually planning on taking any, but I mostly work from home. Not sure if this is too ambitious, but I figure if I can be really productive now, then it will make up for slowing down a bit later. How much time are you taking?

@bananamonkey how are you doing these days? Have you bought anything for baby yet or do you already have everything you need? Do you have a scan coming up soon too?

@Amanda81 is your hospital bag all packed now! Just thinking of you and how close you must be getting now, very exciting! Has she turned at all since your last scan?

I am 24+1 today, definitely a bit of a milestone, but also somewhat anxiety inducing as I feel I need to monitor baby boy's movements even more closely now. I use an app to track the patterns and he is definitely moving four times a day - usually around 10.30-11.30 am, 2-4 pm, 6-7 pm, and 11-1 am. I'm so in love with his movements, I just wish I didn't have an AP to block them. Convinced DH to get a private scan tomorrow for just forty pounds - I want to see baby boy and check on his growth since its been about a month since the anomaly scan. I still feel the need to check on him every two-three weeks, either at the midwife or with a scan. Not sure this is normal, but my attitude this whole pregnancy has been to monitor him more than NHS thinks is strictly necessary. Still haven't bought anything beyond the changing table and rabbit yet either, but I'm feeling ok with this.

Hi everyone...thank you for the mention @sadtoday21. Pleased to hear all is progressing well, but I completely understand the anxiety around movements and the 'need' to closely monitor...exactly what I am like. Well done on convincing DH on getting the scan! Keep us updated on how it goes.

I forget who asked about mat leave (@Kiki061190 ?) - I will be working for as long as possible up until birth and then having a short period of time off afterwards to get settled and will decide when I get back to it once she's arrived. Currently, I think I will have a soft start, perhaps 2 to 3 days of work within the week after a 6 week period off...it's my own business so can be quite flexible and would prefer it this way. Not sure how this will work out, but it's a start. All my clients have said bring her along to meetings...so that helps!

I'm 35 weeks today! OooooMmmmmmGgggg! Had the 34 week MW appointment yesterday and she is still head up. Which I knew because I've got used to the feelings and sensations now. They've started the formalities of considering the CS now, starting with getting a scan next Thursday to confirm that she is breech and to confirm what type of breech position. I'm very much going with the flow, as all of this may be subject to change as she may flip around. It is however only 3-4% of babies who remain breech at this stage if it's your first baby (I think). So odds are she won't move because she's comfy...or her cord might be short, or I may have an abnormal shaped uterus...or my placenta might be blocking her...who knows! My BP has gone up, from a low 100/70 to 140/75. Still Normal, but they want to monitor me, so back with the MW on Wednesday next week. I've also got really bad heartburn and indigestion. I've never had heartburn before, it's bloody awful. Until now I've tried to avoid taking anything, but I'm going to the chemist tomorrow to see what I can have as its waking me up in the night. I've packed the basics in my hospital bag @sadtoday21, but will most likely finish it off after next Thursday once they've given us a plan on how we are to go forward with delivery. Her bag is packed though, and I've used the changing bag from the pram and it all fits perfectly for a one night stay in the hospital. DH will need to come back home and pick up more supplies if we are in longer...as he won't be able to sleep over once I am on the ward.

Hi @mlax - Really sorry for your loss. I had a MMC in Nov 2018 (surgical management), a MC in March 2019 (Natural) and fell straight away with this pregnancy in April 2019. Now 35 weeks. I think it depends on the individual situation on how long it takes for AF to return and for your body to heal. Take care of your physical and mental health and you will no doubt be pregnant again very soon.

Oooh @Amanda81 35 weeks! She’ll be here so soon! How exciting!

@sadtoday21 @Amanda81 Maternity leave is so hard to decide on. My work is thankfully pretty flexible. I’m thinking of finishing up 2 weeks before and taking a year off with baba. My 20 week scan is one week today. I am so nervous yet so excited. I have been feeling movement but I wouldn’t say regularly. I feel something most days but I can’t really feel it to touch my tummy yet. My bump has definitely made an appearance this week. It’s still small but it’s nice to wear a tight top and look pregnant now!

@Catconfusion Thinking if you today!! How was your scan?