Pregnancy after Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Starting a new thread for all of us that find ourselves pregnant again after one or more heartbreaking losses. I know it is really hard to join a pregnancy thread after miscarriage and we all fear the worst will happen again, but let's go on this journey together and hold hands along the way.

This is a safe place for all the ladies on the first pregnancy missed miscarriage thread and for any newcomers who want to join - you are all most welcome! All of the ladies on here have suffered one or more miscarriages and most of us have had particularly difficult losses, such as mmc and other complications. You don't need to be pregnant again to join - you are also most welcome if you have had a loss and are trying again. But we will be sharing scan photos and details of the new pregnancies, in case anyone might find that to be triggering.

Tagging @Catconfusion @Amanda81 @Kiki061190 @3204ECL @Babypending @Ginmonkey84 @MrsMGE and please add anyone else I may have left off. Without further ado, let's start the roll call.

About me: Age 31, trying for my first baby. Previous mmc at 12 weeks in February (hb stopped at 9+4), this turned out to be a partial molar pregnancy and I was monitored by CX hospital for three months. CP in March.

Now 9 weeks, EDD in March, if I make it that long. Oscillating between hope and extreme anxiety every day!

Hey @sadtoday21 we got it for £800 on buy now pay in 12 months from Very. I had a 20% off voucher. The lowest quote we got elsewhere was a local pram shop for £900 but they don’t deliver or do the credit. Our parents are going to give us some money towards it. As I have a back problem the height is really important. The Egg has height adjusters. We bought these for £18 off Facebook. It’s the best one we’ve seen. Most of them give me back ache just pretending to pick baby up. It converts into a dual pram too if we are lucky enough to have another.

The John Lewis consultation is totally worth it, even just for the information if you don’t plan buying anything. They price match too. We have £250 of vouchers for JL from DHs mum so will probably get the bedside crib from there And maybe the car seat.

As for the anxiety, I logically know there’s reasons why I’m not feeling anything yet and most people wait until the 20 week point. It just built up yesterday as I was really struggling with the round ligament pain and it was getting me a bit down. Then I read that story and it made it worse. I spoke to DH on the phone and feel a lot better now. It was just so strange to suddenly feel like that as I’ve felt pretty good up until now emotionally. I talked about having a scan with DH but we both agreed we don’t want to go back to the clinic we got the bad news or pay £80 at the other one. I’m sure I’ll be ok.

Sometimes it’s really hard to miss the sad stories, especially on that very positive happy thread I’m part of. All ladies with babies due at a similar time. There’s lots of really helpful engagement each day so don’t want to leave. I guess statistically it’s going to happen to someone. Still a very upsetting but rare event and I really feel for her. xx

Thanks @Kiki061190 DH just went to our local one but nothing much on sale as yet. Will keep an eye out though.

It’s horrible isn’t it @bananamonkey but sometimes difficult to avoid these stories.

I don’t google anything regarding baby loss just engage with a few threads on here and a couple on Facebook. It still crops up from time to time though. It’s hard after mmc because with my first pregnancy I drummed it into myself it was such a rare thing because statistically it is. Now I’ve had it happen I know it’s not. I wasn’t spotting or cramping so assumed it would be fine. I know later on loss becomes even less likely and it’s normal and natural to worry so I’m just trying to let any negative thoughts wash over me. It’s amazing how helpful DH is. He’s literally been able to talk me round. He’s now sending my pictures of cute baby outfits as he’s been in Mothercare to cheer me up. I guess I was bound to have a wobble! Hope the rest of you are ok and my anxiety hasn’t set anyone else off. We’re overwhelmingly likely to have healthy babies! Xx

@Catconfusion I'm so glad you spoke with DH and are starting to feel a bit less anxious now. And you are totally right, it's hard to avoid sad news altogether and your thread does sound lovely and positive. It's so nice to be able to share the journey with someone who is at the same stage as you. I tried joining the March thread on here for that same reason, but at the end of the day I find it most comforting to talk to you ladies, who were there from the very beginning! I can't wait for @Amanda81 to be the first.

Also, hope I didn't come across too lecturey on the movement front, what I meant to say is that I've been there and (still kind of am, even at 22 weeks), so I totally get the anxiety! I've promised myself a scan at 24 weeks if the movement doesn't ramp up soon. It was a long way of me saying that generally movement conversations make me anxious too - sorry!! I do feel a surge of relief though every time he gives me a quick nudge and its absolutely lovely, just wish he would do it more.

I understand why you would go for the egg, given your back condition, and I do really love the quality and look of it. I think I would also go for it if we had the means. On a student budget though, so I definitely need to get something more in the 200 pound range. I'm shocked by how expensive these things are. Hoping family will help pitch in just a little bit.

What cot are you going for? I might get a 3-in-1- travel system pram and then use the carrycot for naps in the daytime and get a cheaper next to me cot for bedtime.

Hey guys, had a few days off the thread due to feeling a little low. Back on my game now and feeling more positive. Catching up on all of your news...pranks! Yey. Ours was delivered yesterday and DH couldn't wait to start putting it all together. It's now taking up part of the living room, as are all the boxes. We also got the car seat delivered, so the base will be going in soonish.

Try not to worry about the movement. Although, I feel like a complete fraud saying that! I don't think the worry ever leaves you...I guess we all need to find our ways of managing the anxiety as it can jump out at you out of the blue. Mine is usually triggered by hearing sad stories about loss and it's hard to completely close yourself off from these.

I had my MW appointment on Wednesday, I was 32+5 (33 weeks today). Baby is still in breech position. I next see the MW at 34+6 and she said we can see where we go from there. Sounds ominous! Of course I've been doing my research on breech babies...at this stage of gestation there are only 3-4% of babies with feet down...and if it's your first, it's unlikely to turn. I will keep hoping as I would really like to have a natural birth, but don't want to put baby or myself at risk.

Feeling pretty heavy now, starting to adopt the pregnancy waddle at the end of the day 😂 I had the first of the NHS antenatal classes. All worthwhile, but can't say I learnt anything new from the information. It was nice to be in an environment with a load of other pregnant women. I think I have watched too many 'one born every minute' on the tv and know the basics about the birthing process. We talk about breast feeding next week, which I think I will find my useful as I haven't a clue where to start with feeding etc.

That should have said PRAMS not PRANKS 😂

@Amanda81 so glad your appointment went well, but sorry to hear baby is still in breech. Does that definitely mean c-section then? She still has time to turn and hopefully that will still happen soon, even if you read that it's rare! I'm ignorant of these things, but heard women do swimming etc. to try to turn baby. Also, many women say c-section is better than natural birth, although I can understand why you would prefer the latter. Congrats on reaching the 33 week mark and thanks for the info on the antenatal classes! You are our trailblazer on here :)

Out of curiosity, which pram did you end up getting? We've been looking at Hauck Pacific 3 - its a 3-in-1 travel system with pram, carrycot, carseat for only 179 pounds. Looks lightweight too. But there is no way for us to test it around here so really unsure!

Hey @sadtoday21 not lectury at all. I completely see where you're coming from. Sometimes the voice of reason helps. I'm usually pretty good at providing it for myself but the last day or so it's been tough. DH is amazing really. He totally gets me and knows what to say. It's astounding since we've not been together that long. So glad to be doing this with him.

I really like the snuzpod I have to say. Its so difficult with Prams and carseats. We looked at a few second hand ones and its hard to find one that's not been battered by use with several kids. With car seats new is best in case they've been dropped. We are however getting a car seat from a friend but I know she's looked after it. It also plugs into the Egg pram. We might get a second hand snuzpod and buy a new mattress. They are always coming up on Facebook. In that case we would use the John Lewis Voucher for other stuff. xx

Hey @Amanda81 really nice to hear from you. Wow 33 weeks. That's amazing news. Shame about the breech but I know baby can turn quite suddenly. My sister and I were buggers and both born naturally breech back in the days where it was nit grounds for a c section. The more I hear about c sections the more I feel it will be the right course for me with my dodgy hips. You have a great attitude to the birth so I'm sure either way you will be fine.

You're so lucky to get NHS antenatal courses. In our area they have been scrapped. The NCT ones are 270 Pounds so we've found a private course run by not trained instructors for 130. I'm looking forward to it even though like you say I'm expecting to know a lot of it as I research the he'll out of most things. Good to have the opportunity to ask questions though. xx

Hey,
I had a miscarriage at 7/8 weeks, 3 years ago.

Currently 5weeks +3 days, extremely nervous about it, can’t stop thinking will it happen again, had a tiny bit of spotting, nothing major, I know the signs and what to look for in a miscarriage.

How does anyone who has been through a miscarriage in the first pregnancy relax with the second?

@sadtoday21 - we went for the mamas and papas ocarro special edition in grey twill. It's a complete travel system and will see her through for many years. I've been practising how to use it today, and it's super easy to dismantle which will make a lot of difference for us as it will be constantly in and out of the car (we live in the country). Regarding the c-section, if she doesn't turn it's likely to be a CS as they don't like to deliver breech babies with first time mums. She has time yet, so I'm not writing off my pool birth just yet. If it is CS, they do it at 39 weeks...that's only 6 weeks away! Eek! Xx

It does sound like you have some poorly hips @Catconfusion and perhaps a CS might be best. Have they started taking about it with you yet? I guess the bigger you get the more pressure you are going to feel on your hips, have the health providers considered how they are going to help you with this? I hope you don't get too limited with moving around xx

@Beckiboo42 - welcome and sorry for your loss. Many of the ladies on the thread have experienced a MMC during their first pregnancy and have now progressed to progressing through their pregnancy...we are all at different stages and are managing the anxiety in different ways.

I had a MMC first, followed by a MC...I'm now happily 33 weeks pregnant and still find that the anxiety creeps in nown again. The first trimester is the hardest, keep yourself busy, try to stay positive, eat healthy, look after yourself and know that you have no influence over what is to be.

I'm 34, trying for 1st, had 3 mc, I'm 9+1.
I've had 3 scans already, saw babies heart beat as early as 6+3 and again really strong at 8+4. Trying to keep it quiet but I can't help telling people. Am terrified but want to celebrate the life I am growing inside me. This is the furthest I have carried a child and I pray this will be my rainbow baby ❤️

@Amanda81 it sounds like it could go either way. Hopefully she’ll turn but you sound well prepared and open to the c section. I can’t believe it’s only 6 weeks ahead.

My hips and back were really bad. I could barely walk yesterday. Luckily it’s much better today. I’ve started nhs physio and they’ve been brilliant. I’m going for a 1:1 appointment next week and we’ll take it from there. They’ve said I can have hydrotherapy after Christmas so that will be good.

I’ve also arranged to see my orthopaedic surgeon as I’m concerned I’ll need surgery. I also want his take on the birth. I know they can’t X-ray me but I’m hoping he can examine me and assess how bad it is and what the repercussions of a natural birth might be. My bump is huge, even though I’m only carrying about 6 pounds more weight so the exercises are important to build so he strength up.

Like you I’m starting to feel like just one child might be sensible for us with my underlying issues with hyperemesis, age and arthritis. I’m exhausted already and I can’t imagine going through this again. Maybe we’ll feel different after the birth.

Keep us posted on how baby girl is doing! Xx

I've found the pelvic girdle pain hard enough @Catconfusion - I can't imagine how you must be feeling with the hips. Sounds like you have great care. I guess you have to consider the long term health outlook. It's difficult to know what to do about the future and having more children. I do think we will be happy and blessed to have one, but you never really do know what life has in store for you. Currently...it's just the one. But she may change my view on this when she arrives. It's the age thing which makes me think this more than anything else.

Keep us updated on the 1:1 appointment next week xx

@bananamonkey I loved the Uppa Baby too! It was one of my final two. How have you been? Has the anxiety been any better?

@Catconfusion @sadtoday21 I also need a pram to be quite specific because I’m am so short ladies! I need something light I can clip on and off and fold down easy. We narrowed it down to Uppa Baby and a Silver Cross pram. Both very similar! I was there for hours pushing everything around, including and taking the prams down. The Maxi cosi ones are quite good price wise @sadtoday21. I agree about the price of baby stuff, it is extortionate! We picked the chicco next to me magic as the bedside crib as well. I also seen a nursing’s chair I liked there too! Hoping to wait and see if any of it goes down in Black Friday! As for nursery furniture does anyone have recommendations on where to look?

Hi there - sorry I haven't caught up with all 33 pages, but it sounds like lots of exciting things going on!!!
I'm 25+2 today after 5 years of TTC, 3 having horrendous infertility treatment including a miscarriage in march this year - yesterday was my due date for that pregnancy so I've been trying to keep busy and not think too much.
I have an anterior placenta so only feel the odd kick which worries me, but I tend to get a good few in the morning when I wake up and some before I go to sleep which keeps me just about sane. Also my midwives have been utterly wonderful and I can pop up whenever to hear the heartbeat and get checked over which has significantly reduced my anxiety (I had a massive bleed at 15 weeks which put me in a&e for a day before they scanned and found it was all fine so I've been on constant constant pantwatch)!

Am also hoping that Mothercare will have some bargains - I'm thinking of popping in at about 9am tomorrow to see what's about!

@Catconfusion Have you felt any movement yet? I was so convinced I could feel the baby squirming for days there and then nothing yesterday and now I’m anxious in case something is wrong!

Hi and welcome @Beckiboo42, @TongoP and @Bipbop2020, so sorry fr your losses. @Beckiboo42 I'm afraid I really struggled with anxiety up to the 12 week scan but Amanda81 has some good advice, it did ease after this although there a good days and bad days, I find I worry so much more about tiny things.

I'm having a couple of days without feeling any movement which is obviously freaking me out but just trying to remember what the MW said about when to be concerned about patterns and assume little jalapeno has just moved into a different position. Having a lot of stretchy type pains in my back, sides and under bump.

Sorry to hear about your pain @Catconfusion, hope the physio is helping x

Love the shopping @Kiki061190! I can totally recommend the Uppababy, it really is lovely to push and easy to use, plus you can fit a weekly shop underneath. I have a maxicosi pebble carseat that clips on to it, and you can use the carrycot as a mosebasket/crib. If your husband is tall then the adjustable handlebar is great, we're both tall and found a lot of them too low down. We were given a cotbed and my other furniture is IKEA, the poang chair makes a good nursing chair.

@bananamonkey I have just been worried about the same thing! I’m 17+5 and swear I could feel the baby squirming about for a few days until Sunday and I’ve felt nothing since. Don’t know whether to be concerned or not because it’s still so early!

Hey newcomers. I’m so sorry you find yourself here. I’m sure you’ll find it a great source of support.

@kiki061190 I haven’t felt anything reliable yet but I have an anterior placenta so have been told it might be as late as 22 weeks. My understanding is that movements are not reliably regular at this stage so try not to worry. I can’t wait to feel proper kicks.

Thanks @bananamonkey and @Amanda81 it is quite painful but I’m trying to do as much light exercise and physio and I can without pushing it. I want to make my core stronger but I’m not going to go crazy.

A friend of a friend had a really bad birth experience. She had a natural birth but couldn’t walk for a week because of being in stirrups for a long time and passing the baby has irritated her hips. She has no underlying issues. It makes me feel a c section will be best for me.

Hope you’re all doing well! Xx

@Catconfusion I know you are totally right. I thought I could feel baby this morning which was nice. How have you been? Is your 20 week scan next Friday? I’m sure mines is one week after you. Have you had an anxiety? I completely understand why @sadtoday21 felt anxious at this point. It’s odd when you don’t have regular movements and you’re just waiting. I also have a tiny bump. I just want an obvious one now!

Hey @Kiki061190 glad you felt something again. It should get more regular soon. Baby does a massive growth spurt between 18 and 19 weeks which apparently is why movements are generally felt around the 20 week mark.

I’ve been good thanks. I don’t feel pregnant any more apart from the big belly so enjoying it more than I was. My hips are pretty sore though so focusing on getting some physio done to strengthen my core. Scan is next Friday so literally cannot wait. After my wobble last week I’ve been feeling more positive and not as anxious. It’s frustrating not feeling anything but I’m trying just to go with the flow. I bet your bump will just pop soon as the baby is likely to grow a lot before your scan. I hope you’re having a good week and are able to keep busy! Xx

@Catconfusion It’s a funny stage right now when you don’t feel pregnant. I’m not feeling anything regularly but hoping my little lady is ok in there. How have you managed without a scan for these past few weeks?! You’re a rockstar! I had one last Monday and already have convinced myself baby isn’t ok. I think it’s mainly down to lack of bump growth! I’m still comfortably in my jeans which seems odd for 18 weeks xx

It is a funny stage @Kiki061190 and very different from early on when the chance of loss is greater. The stakes are much higher now so although highly unlikely to have problems it’s still terrifying. I’m not sure how I’ve got through the past month.

I guess I just keep thinking that years ago people didn’t have scans. Even when they first scans came in 20 weeks was the first one. Also with the internet we are so much more aware of what can go wrong. Years ago unless you knew someone who’d had a loss it wouldn’t have been on the radar. Even then people didn’t talk about it so much. Knowledge and information can be helpful and reassuring but can also cause anxiety. We’re lucky as well to have had the scan at the EPU at 15 weeks so not quite as long as stretch as it would have been.

Try not to worry about the lack of bump. I’m convinced the hormones affect people differently. I’m huge and getting told I don’t have long now by strangers. They are then surprised to hear I have 21 weeks left. I don’t mind, it’s quite funny. I’m also very sensitive to the hormones. I’m really prone to bloating before periods so it makes sense progesterone would make me look bigger. The baby is actually still relatively small.

The lady who did my flu jab said with both her pregnancies she didn’t show until the 20 week mark. I’m sure your body is just doing it’s thing and you’ll pop soon.

I also keep reminding myself if there is something wrong there are very few issues not compatible with life. So many surgeries can do done to fix problems.

It’s a bit like flying on a plane. Most technical issues can be fixed before a crash but in rare circumstances the plane comes down. Most of the time the plane flies without any problems.

In the next couple of weeks I’m pretty sure we’ll both have good news and can relax a bit! Xx

I know it’s so funny how people only had one scan back in the day. I keep thinking it’s only been 11 days since my last scan and only 2 weeks until my 20 week scan. This scan feels like the big one!

I can’t wait to hear what you are having! Only one week to go 💓

Just found out a gal in work is now 12 weeks pregnant. She’s super chill and said she never showed till 20 weeks.