Pregnancy after Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Starting a new thread for all of us that find ourselves pregnant again after one or more heartbreaking losses. I know it is really hard to join a pregnancy thread after miscarriage and we all fear the worst will happen again, but let's go on this journey together and hold hands along the way.

This is a safe place for all the ladies on the first pregnancy missed miscarriage thread and for any newcomers who want to join - you are all most welcome! All of the ladies on here have suffered one or more miscarriages and most of us have had particularly difficult losses, such as mmc and other complications. You don't need to be pregnant again to join - you are also most welcome if you have had a loss and are trying again. But we will be sharing scan photos and details of the new pregnancies, in case anyone might find that to be triggering.

Tagging @Catconfusion @Amanda81 @Kiki061190 @3204ECL @Babypending @Ginmonkey84 @MrsMGE and please add anyone else I may have left off. Without further ado, let's start the roll call.

About me: Age 31, trying for my first baby. Previous mmc at 12 weeks in February (hb stopped at 9+4), this turned out to be a partial molar pregnancy and I was monitored by CX hospital for three months. CP in March.

Now 9 weeks, EDD in March, if I make it that long. Oscillating between hope and extreme anxiety every day!

Thanks @Catconfusion, you are the voice of reason as always! I've decided to do just what you suggested after much consultation with DH and other family members. Will pick up some baby aspirin today and take it at night (with food?) and tell midwife about it when I see her next Tuesday. I'm sure she won't object, since she wanted me to take it from 16 weeks. How many weeks now until your 20 week scan? How have you been feeling?

@Kiki061190 it's so lovely to wake up the next morning and now what you are having, isn't it? I know the phase you mentioned, I was in it too around your time where I didn't feel really pregnant (did I ever though?) and didn't look too pregnant either. I started to "pop," at least in my mind at the time, around the 16 week mark, but other people didn't seem to notice at all. Now I think that wasn't really popping after all, as my bump is much larger since around 18 weeks or so. Now at 21+5 my husband likes to tell my baby that "he's huge" every morning and then laugh hysterically. But honestly my maternity jeans are still falling down too @bananamonkey! The 8-10 size fits fine, but the 10-12 is way too lose (comfy though) and my bump can't quite hold it up yet. Sweaters etc. all still fit as does everything else, but I can't zip up my winter coats! Everyone is different, depending on a lot of factors, but you will be showing soon, don't worry!

Thanks for the advice on the snuzpod @bananamonkey! It's good to hear that you used it before and liked it. It seems like the best option for me too, just concerned about the price really. But you make a good point about looking out for sales, maybe black friday would be a good time to buy? I'm not in a rush or anything. Didn't even realise Boots sold that, I guess it must be online. Good luck with your midwife appointment tomorrow!

Hey @sadtoday21 sometimes it just good to sound out how you're feeling. Loss just makes the worry more intense I think. I got the gastro resist aspirin and just take it with a drink before I turn the light out at night. A thrombosis is more likely to form at night so I think that's why they suggest taking it then. Maybe try without a snack and if you have any tummy problems you could take with a cracker. I've not felt it's make my sickness problem worse.

I'm a lot better thanks. Feeling very tired at times but not really sick any more. It's 2 weeks on Friday until my scan. We literally can't wait now. Xx

@Kiki061190 great you're feeling better. It's so lovely to feel like a normal human being again albeit a tired one. We will be finding out and literally can't wait. If the gender scans weren't in the place we got our bad news last time I'd have probably caved. Now I'm just focused on saving the money and waiting it out.

We have a boy and girl name and being a bit geeky they have literature references. I just can't wait to bond a bit more with baby once I know the sex. Xx

@bananamonkey good luck with the midwife tomorrow. Hopefully she'll let you have a listen in. It definitely felt more real talking about the birth at our appointment. Xx

I spoke to my GP yesterday about the birth and she's referred me to my orthopaedic doctor to talk about whether my hips would withstand a natural delivery. A lot of my friends are mums and a couple have been very negative when I said it might be a c section for me. It feels like some people see c sections as the easy way out of the pain. One friend just told me to get an epidural but it's not as simple as that. My pelvis is unstable and I'm worried if I have a prolonged labour it will lead to needing a hip replacement sooner rather than later. I'm not worried about the pain. I know I need my hip replacing at some point but I don't want to end up doing it with a new born baby.

Has anyone else made a decision about the birth? Xx

@bananamonkey Amazing that you are feeling flutters. Your 20 week scan will be here before you know it ♥️

@sadtoday21 I’m thinking of getting a snuzpod as well but I’ll wait until a discount. Potentially Black Friday/cyber Monday or even after Xmas! I’ve seen them with 20% off before. OH and I have an appointment with John Lewis on Saturday to look at prams. I want to really shop around and get the best option for me.

@Catconfusion I know how you feel, I couldn’t have went back to where I got the bad news. I actually got my scan yesterday at a different clinic and it was so much better. A colleague had recommended this clinic to me. I can’t believe it’s only 2 weeks until your scan! I’m one week after you ♥️

We went for the Hush by Venture next to be cot - similar thing to the snooze pod @sadtoday21. We are quite happy with it. The antenatal classes should be offered to you nearer the end of your pregnancy and is something the NHS offer. They talk about birth, breast feeding etc.

Thanks for your kind words @Catconfusion @sadtoday21 - the anxiety I think is linked to my mood. Tomorrow is the day when we heard those dreadful words at the dating scan for our first MC. Its not something I'm dwelling on, but is something which is clouding my judgement. She is definitely still kicking, but it would appear that my brain has some kind of block which is not believing the movement. It's hard to describe. Almost as if I don't believe what I am feeling. She has definitely changed positions, I think she has moved to face my spine and she is kicking into the placenta, but is still feet down. I'm with the MW tomorrow and will get the HB tracked which will hopefully give me the reassurance that I need to kick my anxiety to the touch-line.

Hope your appointment goes well today @Amanda81 and she is moving in the right direction 🤞🏻

My MW appointment was nice and boring although I felt really anxious about it for no good reason. Got to hear the heartbeat which was lovely. Because it’s my second I don’t have another appointment till 28 weeks which seems like forever away! Just got to book my whooping cough vaccination and GTT (joy!).

Hope everyone else is doing well x

@bananamonkey I never realised you never got an appointment until 28 weeks if it’s your second!

I’m 17 weeks tomorrow and finally bought my first sleepsuits today. I have been holding off buying anything for baby just in case but I desperately want to actually enjoy the pregnancy. I think I’ll feel it’s real once I see a bump!

@Kiki061190 Yes 3 less overall (skip the 25, 31 and 40 week ones).

Aw lovely, sleepsuits are so cute 😍 Don’t think I’ll be convinced a baby actually is coming till after 20 week scan!

Thanks for your advice on the cot @Amanda81, that also looks like a good option! The design is great and an excellent price. I think I will go with something similar, though I like the rocking feature of the Snuzpod if I can get it much much cheaper. I haven't seen other next-to-me cots that also rock. How did your appointment go today? Hope you are feeling better now!

@Kiki061190 congrats on your first baby purchase! I still haven't bought a thing and I'm 22 weeks tomorrow. I cannot believe you are looking at prams already too - very jealous, let us know what you choose! I'm debating on whether we need to buy a pram or can just get by with a sling for the first six months. Prams seem really expensive and bulky, but probably also easier to push around if you do a lot of walking and don't have a car (which applies to us). What are you looking at?

@bananamonkey glad your appointment went well! I need to book my whopping cough vaccine too, not sure whether they do it at the gp or I have to go to the pharmacy again? Are your flutterings getting stronger?

Well, I decided to take your advice @Catconfusion and I'm on the 75 mg aspirin now, as well as reducing salt in my diet and increasing exercise to try to prevent preeclampsia. The whole family history thing really scared me. I also bought a blood pressure thing on amazon to monitor it more closely. After a lot of research today, I think that's the most I can do and will have to hope for the best!

@sadtoday21 I’ve booked it at the GP, they don’t have an appointment till 23rd Dec but it’s not essential till 32 weeks so I’m ok to wait for this one.

I don’t thing the fluttering are stronger as such but they are a bit more definite if that makes sense, it kept running away from the MW yesterday when she was trying to listen to the hb. Sounds like you’re doing all you can for the blood pressure, well done x

Hi Everyone, I’m new to this thread but I’ve been googling my head off! I had a miscarriage at 6.5 weeks in September and just found out I’m pregnant again this week. I’m absolutely terrified, worried my lines aren’t dark enough (they have progressed) worried that I don’t have sore boobs like last time etc. I should be excited but can’t yet! Can I ask you guys if you had different/later symptoms? I’m usually an 11 day luteal phase, I’m now 14 dpo and I’m temping - temps still very high and tests getting darker but still not as dark or darker than control line. I guess I’m just looking for any reassurance in these early stages, as my GP is absolutely useless 🙄

@Bettybird welcome and I'm sorry about your loss. My symptoms were almost identical with the pregnancy I lost as a mmc at 12 weeks, baby was 6 weeks and my current pregnancy healthily developing at 17 and a half weeks. Your body will probably respond to the hormones in a similar way. It's good the lines are getting darker. It can take a while for the line to overtake the control. You might not see much difference in the tests if done daily. I stopped testing at about 17 dpo and waited to have an early scan at just over 6 weeks where we saw a heartbeat. My advice would be to keep busy. Try not worry if you get a bit of cramping as it seems normal as long as not severe. It's a very difficult time getting through the first trimester but it will pan out how it will pan out. There's not much you can do. Relaxation and taking care of your mental health will help. If you have an anxious day don't beat yourself up because it's so tough. I really hope this is it for you. Your chances are very good! Xx

Thankyou so much @Catconfusion sorry to hear about your MMC but congratulations on being in your second trimester! I’m going to do a CBD at the weekend to see it in words and then stop until 6 weeks and get an early scan like yourself. Last time I realised I was miscarrying due to a decrease in CBD weeks last time, as soon as it went down I had bloods done and it just plummeted. My husband understandably now doesn’t want me to focus on those! It’s just so hard, I should be excited and I can’t feel that yet! So sick of seeing TV shows where someone gets a positive test and that’s that, when in real life it’s much more difficult! 🙄

Thanks @Bettybird that sounds like a really good plan. Just take it day by day and get a scan in a couple of weeks. Your chances are very good as recurrent miscarriage isn’t that common. If there’s a heartbeat on the scan it’s even more likely to be ok. There are some lovely ladies on this thread and we’re all happy to support you on this difficult journey. Xx

@sadtoday21 I have no idea! I wanted to book an appointment to speak to someone about what I need from the pram to make sure it’s the best choice for both me and baby. It’s so much money to spend so I want to make the right choice. Then I’ll think about furniture which is another matter! A sling is a nice option for baby too. Every mum is different, I definitely need a pram because I’ll be taking baby out a lot so it’s handier.

@Catconfusion Have you had any thoughts about prams?

Hey @Kiki061190 we did a John Lewis Nursery Advice appointment. You get two hours of 1:1 advice and free tea and cake. They go through everything you need.

Funny you should bring up prams, we bought ours today. We found a ridiculously good deal that was time sensitive. It’s the Egg stroller with added carry cot. We just figure if something goes wrong it can go back. We’ll wait until the twenty week scan to buy anything. Xx

@Catconfusion I have an appointment with John Lewis this weekend! I’m looking forward to getting some information about what I need to buy. Going to make a list and start picking it up in December!

@Kiki061190 it really is worth it. You’ll find out loads you didn’t know. There’s not many places near me where you can look at prams so it was nice, even though we went with the egg in the end.

Well the anxiety has finally kicking in. Feeling frustrated to have not felt anything yet even though anterior placenta. Also someone on my Facebook group just lost a baby at the same point I’m at. Two weeks today until the scan so I’m just trying to hold on in there. My tummy is getting bigger each day so I’m taking some solace in that. Also still getting waves of nausea. Just hope all is ok in there! Xx

Omg @Catconfusion that is awful! Can I ask how she discovered the loss? I understand anxiety, even though I seen baby 4 days ago I’m worried now for the 20 week scan which is 3 weeks today. I just hope everything is ok in there. Have you felt any movement? I’m 17+1 now and I have been feeling some odd things but to be honest could just be gas I’m not sure 🤔

@Kiki061190 she literally got worried she’d felt no movement. Her work thought she was being over cautious but there was no heartbeat on an emergency scan. She had to deliver baby. It’s awful. Though I will add quite rare. She’d also had a later loss before.

No I’m not really feeling anything. I feel a sort of pulsing sensation but it could be gas or blood flow. My placenta is at the the front though. The sonographer who did the last scan said it could be as late as 22 weeks before I feel anything And not to worry.

I’ve honestly not felt that anxious until last night. I’m getting some quite severe round ligament pain too which isn’t helping. My tummy is getting really big and seemingly growing each day so the stretching pains make sense. Then I read about that poor lady today and it pushed me over the edge.

We could just go for a scan but I don’t want to go back to the place I got the bad news the first time. However it’s the only place I can afford. There’s another clinic but it’s far more expensive. My DH can’t understand why I’m suddenly so worried as no reason to be. But as we all know there doesn’t necessarily need to be signs something is wrong.

Anyway I’m sure I’ll snap out of it. Our chances are fantastic now we’re this far along. Sometimes I think about how different pregnancy would be without loss before and it makes me sad. Xx

@Catconfusion had she had a scan since her 12 week? That’s so awful and shows your gut instincts are right!

I know it’s awful when you read things like that, I read someone had a loss at 20 weeks recently and I was so anxious. My midwife said she wouldn’t expect me to feel a thing until 22 weeks as well. I think it’s common to worry about now. My bump has finally started to pop a wee bit which is nice. It’s certainly larger at night, do you also find that?

Scans are so expensive! I got my gender one for £35 which was great but I went to a different clinic than where I got the bad news about the MMC. This one was nicer and quite affordable.

I can’t believe we have gotten this far. We have done so well and I’m so glad we are at the same point in pregnancy. It’s great to share this with you!

@Catconfusion @Kiki061190 wow, cannot believe you are both looking at or buying prams! You are both a lot braver than me, I’m 22+1 and still have not bought even a small piece of clothing yet. Literally nothing at all. Is a John Lewis appointment actually useful? I figured it would all be too pricey for us and most of research on things you need can be done online, but now unsure. A little overwhelmed by all the things baby seems to need - DH and I both thought we would do things simply, since neither of us has income coming in right now, but it seems baby things are really expensive! I looked at egg strollers and couldn’t believe they are 1k pounds plus! @Catconfusion how did you find one that was affordable? DH and I are thinking Black Friday sales in 2.5 weeks for the crib and pram, just to get the larger items for less. Will be curious to see what else you ladies buy after the John Lewis appointments!

As for the discussion on movement, it’s really normal to start feeling anxious about the stage you are at. You read things and think movement should start from 17 or 18 weeks and get worried but let me tell you that it’s absolutely not going to start that early, especially with anterior placenta and first baby. Even 22 weeks, forget about it what the midwife said! I’m 22+1 with anterior placenta and first baby and I do feel small very very small squirms now and then, but it’s not what I would have expected at this stage honestly. It’s still faint and sporadic and not what I imagined movement to be like. Just don’t expect anything until 24 weeks, which is perfectly normal, and then you won’t feel so worried all the time like me. I’ve seen many ladies online say they felt nothing and by 24/25 weeks the kicking is finally going strong. Here’s hoping! But seriously don’t start worrying at 17/18 weeks like I did, it makes for a very long couple of weeks and very frustrating and difficult. Get a scan if the anxiety is bad or go have a listen to the hb for free and keep looking at baby things, we really should be able to enjoy our pregnancies too it’s just not fair and terrribly stressful nine months otherwise. And avoid those posts on MN or social media! Terrible things can happen at any stage, but all you can do is make sure that you are doing your best to keep baby safe and there’s nothing more you can do than that. I totally understand the anxiety and I feel the same way as you ladies, even after the 20 week scan, so I know the anxiety never really goes away. Just make it to the next milestone and take one day at a time Xxx.

@kiki061190 I’m not sure if she’d had any scans post 12 weeks. I look back to my first loss and although I was very hopeful I think I knew deep down something was wrong. Currently I know it’s probably anxiety because it’s three weeks since the scan. Great you found one for £35. It’s £55 near me and £85 at the more expensive clinic. There’s nothing else nearby.

Great your bump is popping. I do like my big bump even though I’m a little worried I’ll need bigger clothes again later on. The maternity bands fit nicely though I know I’ll be much bigger than this. Yes I do feel bigger at night. I had to get maternity pyjamas as all my bottoms dug in the wrong place. Got Jo Jo Maman ones off eBay as they at £40 new.

I think it’s great we got this far and absolutely no reason to worry despite other people’s sad news. It’s still very uncommon to have an issue this late on. I love we’ve all sharing the sad times and the happy ones. It will be surreal yet lovely when we all start delivering! Xx

That’s so awful @Catconfusion, that poor woman ☹️ I keep reading about late losses and having to stop looking, I feel selfish but it’s just too unsettling.

That’s so exciting about the prams! I loved the look of the Egg ones @Catconfusion. @Kiki061190 if you can, park your car in the JL car park and they will let you try them in your boot so see how they fit. I didn’t get any furniture from there but they really know their stuff about prams and will price match if you find a deal elsewhere, we did this and saved about £200 on an Uppababy Vista (which I still love, I’m so sad 😂).

Waiting for Black Friday sounds like a great idea @Sadtoday21, hope you can find some bargains! x

@sadtoday21 We’re heading to John Lewis just mainly to get some information about different prams etc and the features. I’m definitely going to shop about and am aiming to have my pram ordered after Xmas. @bananamonkey @Catconfusion my mum called me this morning at work to let me know Mothercare has just announced they’ve went into full clearance and it’s everything must go all over the shop today so I’m going to head down after work as there is one near me in town and have a good look about!