Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

[BertieBotts]

Welcome everyone :)

I am feeling much more positive today, how is everyone else?

Thinking of you kirin 😊

I had a miscarriage last January I now suspect I'm pregnant again. Both unplanned keep getting BFNs but I'm so crampy and nauseous

So far so good. Baby alive and heart looks fine. Haven't actually seen the baby yet but heard heartbeat. Currently waiting for anomaly but considerably more relaxed than I was 40 mins ago.

Really glad to hear news good so far, Kirin. I haven't had the best morning - at my routine appointment to downgrade me to low-risk the doctor heard an irregular heartbeat when listening to the baby, so I had to go for extra monitoring, and they want me to come in twice a week for that. They kept saying that it was nothing to worry about, but obviously I am, and twice a week certainly feels like, whatever they say, they do think something's wrong or at least could be...

Good news kirinm. Aw lisa of course its such a worry, why cant things just be plain sailing, at least they are keeping a good eye on you.

I of course had bit of brown staining this morning on pad, hoping its nothing & it was just after had inserted the cyclogest. Panic stations of course!!

Lisa sorry to hear about the heartbeat-scare. Just wanted to share that this was also found in my previous successful pregnancy, and I had to go back to the hospital for an additional check. For me the heartbeat was normal at this next check-up, and the specialist I saw explained that it is very common, and in most cases means nothing. However, should there be a problem, they really want to know before the birth so they are prepared, and I think this is the reason as to why they follow things so closely. But I get why you feel worried, I felt the same at the time, and that was even before I had been through a loss.

Kirin hoping for a good scan for you!

And welcome to new people! I am rubbish at posting atm, so busy at work, and still falling asleep early every night. But reading and cheering along when awake

Kirin, fingers crossed for a good anomaly scan, glad the heartbeat one was okay!

Thanks notparticularly, that's helpful - they did keep stressing that it was no cause for concern, and I'm not too upset (though obviously it would have been nice if everything had been completely problem-free), but I can't help but be suspicious about why they want all this monitoring if it's the not-at-all-an-issue thing that they kept insisting... I'm also (and obviously this is a very minor issue, the main concern is the baby's health) a bit worried about how disruptive these twice-weekly monitoring sessions are going to be if they go on for the rest of my pregnancy - I'm already massively behind at work and getting stressed about it (and then getting stressed about getting stressed and the impact on baby!). I have so much to do today, but all I've done since I got home from hospital is Google 'irregular fetal heartbeat' and fret...

Hi all,
Great to hear about all the positive scans and sorry about the heartbeat scare Lisa.

I finally faced reality and gave the EPU a call today about an early scan. I’m currently 6.5weeks and they won’t give me one until 9 weeks, despite 2 missed miscarriages. The last one was at 9 weeks and found that the pregnancy stopped at 6.5 weeks...... Not sure whether to go privately before this or not.
Also, I have had really good experiences with the EPU before this but the lady I got this time was really quite dismissive and quite negative, ‘don’t get excited yet’ ‘it’s very soon to be expecting again after your last miscarriage’ - January. She doesn’t need to tell me not to be excited, I am anything but! Is it really such a problem being pregnant so soon?

Oh @Anxiousfeelings she sound horrid. I can't understand how receptionists can be so cold hearted sometimes.
I think if it were me I'd get a private scan. It would put mind at rest especially since what you went through recently. X

I'm sorry I've been away, work! I really need some support though if you don't mind.

I went to the epu today, based on ov I think I'm 5+1. During the scan they said they could see a gestational sac but no yolk sac and no fetal pole which I have heard else where is ok for 5 weeks. But in the debrief they said they can't be sure because it is 5×5×7 mm so it could be a miscarriage or ectopic. They took blood to test hcg and will repeat on wed. I have just bought another frer and digi to see if my line has progressed and it has so it will be ok? DH burst into tears when he realised I'd hear the result over the phone by myself at work.

All was good with the anomaly scan thankfully. We found out that we are having a girl. I'm in the post scan anxiety free glow which I know will pass but it's so nice to not feel so anxious even if it's short lived.

Wonderful news @kirinm, especially after all the stress you've had. I'm team pink too! 

@peachesarenom I had a scan at 6 weeks and there was no heartbeat detected or fetal pole. I had a yolk, but I was a whole week ahead of where you are now based on OV. All of the 'oh there isn't this, there isn't that' immediately made me think the worst, but the heart was beating away at 8 weeks. It's so so tiny at that stage it's hard for them to measure/see anything. Really hope your bloodwork is good. 3+ on a clearblue digital is reassuring.

I'm really sorry you were spoken to like that, anxious. She sounds completely unhelpful. For what it's worth, I got pregnant three times in quick succession and the expert at the recurrent miscarriage clinic assured me that there is no problem with getting pregnant again quickly after a miscarriage - it's not why any of the pregnancies failed. If you can afford it, I probably would go for the private scan (I had two in the first trimester in addition to my two NHS ones), as it sounds like it might really help you.

Peaches my understanding is that hcg is a better indication that scanning at this stage, so I hope you get a really reassuring result from the test on Wednesday. Will they tell you same day?

@Anxiousfeelings that's awful! How unsympathetic. Some attitudes towards MC are terrible. You'd think someone working at an EPU would be more understanding.

peaches everything crossed for good news Wednesday.

anxious I had a negative response from my EPU when I called the first time and then a much better response when I was armed with the right info from my midwife. They said at first I couldn’t have an early scan (also 2 mc) then my midwife said I could because she’d had an email to say so because I was over 38. Perhaps chat to your community midwife or doctor and see if they can help refer you?

Hi, I was wondering if could join you as I'm struggling to relate to the ladies on the due in August board.
I'm 21 + 3 and expecting my first (live) baby after my daughter was stillborn last year. I'm excited and terrified all at the same time.
I'm so sorry for all the heartbreak and loss people have had to go through on here x

@peachesarenom That is a huge line progression there! Sorry you're suck in limbo, really hoping you get the news we all want you to get.

I'm assuming the scan was internal?

Thank you for the responses- really reassuring. I don’t think I’ll have a scan before the 9 wk one. I think if it were positive I’d probably just get more worried before the next one as the first loss was at 8.5 wks. Thanks for advice about midwife/doctor @Nocats. I’m 39 years so will see if I can get some more support.

Welcome @iamloading. So so sorry to hear about your daughter and congratulations on this pregnancy. 💐

Congratulations kirinm I always wanted a girl but I'd be delighted with a healthy baby this time round.

Thank you Flatwhite32 that does make me feel a lot better. If they offer me a scan next week I might say I want to wait for two. Had enough of this rubbish.

Thank you LisaSimpsonsbff I'm having the blood teat at 8.30am and they say the results will be available from 1pm. I think I will phone from work all alone But I will get a colleague to hold my hand.

Thank you NoCatsHere.

Hi iamloading

Yes UnicornsandRainbows1 I think line progression is also positive, it has helped DH. I can't believe he cried, he is the stiff upper lip kind of guy. Scan was internal, really sick of being poked and prodded!

@iamloading so sorry for your loss last year and congrats on your pregnancy now. I understand as many on here do about feeling hopeful and excited then guilty then worried about tempting fate by being so positive that you go all negative again because if you expect the worst you can't be surprised by it.

Are you consultant led now? How are you feeling? X

iamloading I'm so sorry for the loss of your little girl. I really hope that you're having supportive medical care?

I missed a lot yesterday! Kirin I’m so pleased all went well, and lovely to know you are having a girl. Peaches I’m sorry EPU were discouraging, hopefully the hcg will be reassuring. iamloading I’m so sorry to hear about your loss, I hope you are getting the best care possible this time.

As for me I’m still in disbelief a bit. I’ve taken my second frer and my CB digital (even though I hate them) and have a barely visible control line/3+ which has reassured me for about 30seconds! Have not cancelled my surgery or contacted preterm clinic yet but think I should get on that today. I’m 5+2 I think today, and the beginnings of nausea getting me. Gagged on the toothbrush this morning and the smells on the tube turned my stomach.

Hi loading, of course you are welcome. I'm due in August as well. Are you not due in September, or are you having a planned section this time?

Hi everyone. Just over 10 weeks and feel out of sorts today. Another week till next scan. Its just waiting waiting trying not to think about it but at the same time hoping. Just want to moan :0(