Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

[BertieBotts]

Welcome everyone :)

I am feeling much more positive today, how is everyone else?

Thanks for the welcome. I'm due on the 31st August and the care has been amazing. What are people thinking about their delivery options? My baby died of a genetic condition at 26 weeks, but the consultants are being wonderful and offering me anything I want re delivery.
I really don't want an induction having read the horror stories and likelihood of intervention - so I'm tossing up c section at 37/38 weeks and knowing she's out safe OR waiting to go naturally but having a section of she isn't out by early sept. Plus side of that would be she wouldn't be the youngest in her school year (if she didn't come early which none of my family have) I was the youngest and hated it . Seems trivial but it bothered me as a kid.
What would you do in my situation?

Ps @Anxiousfeelings I fell pregnant again 6 weeks after losing my daughter and touch wood everything is fine so far, so that woman is talking crap x

That's a really tough decision iam. Presumably you could wait quite late (say until 34/35 weeks to allow enough time to schedule the C-section) to make a final choice? I haven't been through what you have so won't pretend I know I'd feel, but I think in your shoes I'd try and remember that both options are perfectly healthy ones for her - they wouldn't have offered them if they weren't - so you can make whichever choice is better for you. If you want to try for a natural birth then great, but if as it gets closer you feel it would be better for your mental health to have the certainty of a planned c-section then that's also great.

I'm also scared of induction. One reason I was a bit upset that they didn't downgrade me to low risk yesterday was that I'd rather go to the midwife-led unit (which is attached to the obstretrics unit of my local hospital, not free-standing) than the labour ward. Obviously all I really want is a birth, of any kind, that ends with a healthy baby, and I would of course want to be on labour ward if it was safer, but I feel a little upset at the idea of not having the choice when it seems like they can't actually tell me why I'm high-risk. I'm only 28 weeks today, though, so there's still a long way to go and time for that to change.

I lost my son at 29 weeks, he was born with complications we had no idea about during pregnancy and died at 7 days old. Fell pregnant 3 months later and that pregnancy was consultant led until 34 weeks when there was no reason to be consultant led anymore at that stage. They said whatever I did with the birth was up to me, I opted to go natural thinking of anything needed intervention, that would happen. Within a couple of hours of going into labour (at 39+3) there was meconium in my waters and I moved to consultant led again. They advised me at every stage and I ended up having a c-section after 7 hours of being admitted- at no point did I feel pressured and I felt supported and like they would have advised against anything if it was wrong.
Long winded but what I am trying to say is - no matter what you decide, you can change your mind and take the guidance of people closer to the time or on the day, and if something doesn't feel right to you, you're in control. They will be sensitive to you given the history and hopefully support you in whatever you decide.
My DD is now 2 and a bit! Hope that helps a little xx

Thank you both so much for your responses, it's given me so much to think about. My guys tells me to try for natural with c section in reserve, but I'm just so scared of something going wrong and blaming myself. @jmfw34 I'm so sorry that you went through this as well.
Anyway I'm only 22 weeks so no rush for a decision!
Does everyone else feel like they are on some sort of "hope" rollercoaster?!!

Yes completely about the rollercoaster! I wake up with dread wondering why i havw no symptoms, get a few inn the day so get positive, then remember i had awful nausea with the mmc anyway so back feeling low. I have a private scan saturday and flipping between it already being another mmc so i dont get a shock, and wanting to enjoy being pregnant because this will all being well be my last baby.

@BloominMoomin89 how many weeks are you? EPU have booked me a scan at 8+5 but as thats almost exactly when my MMC was picked up I would like to be seen sooner, so debating whether to book a private scan at 6 or 7 weeks. 6 weeks is this weekend- I just worry about getting to a scan, not seeing a heartbeat and having a week of worry.

Im 8 weeks today :) due to bleeding and pain 2 weeks ago epu scanned me at 6 plus 2 and saw a heart beat.
I am bursting into tears about ridiculous things today so hoping thats a hormone not the stress!

Fingers crossed all goes well today

peaches hope the results are ok today. thinking of you.

iamloading welcome, and so sorry for the loss of your daughter. Definitely in a good place here. With my 2nd child i was opting for a vbac after I'd had a emcs with my first ds. but i'd insisted that if things didnt happen naturally and i went overdue i wanted an elcs no induction. I think you can change your mind at any point.

I'm 9+5 today and have felt the nausea disappear. i had a good scan and saw a heartbeat last friday at 9 weeks, but now i'm having a worried day. i think i might book a private scan next week, not sure my nerves will hold to the 12 week one.

Can someone hand me a grip please.

7+6 today and I'm panicking because this morning my boobs don't feel as dense and sore as they did yesterday. Still feel ridiculously nauseous but I'm worried it means something is Going Wrong (again...first pregnancy started bleeding at 7+5 but bean only measured 5+4, second pregnancy bled at 11+6 with bean at 9+5). We had a perfect scan last Friday at 7+1.

Got booking in appointment tomorrow so I don't have long to wait to speak to a midwife but I can't help thinking that it's all gone wrong again...

Emwithme i have the same dread most mornings with analysing everything within the hour of getting up. I try to tell myself that its no indication. I had loads of symptoms with the mmc and barely any breezing through naively with no worries to 12 weeks with my son who is now 4.
I am looking forward to my scan on Saturday, a small achievable goal each month helps.

I completely get the feeling of being on a rollercoaster. I’m really trying not to over analyse symptoms/ lack of symptoms this time but it’s hard. I try to remember that every pregnancy is different. I too had the strongest symptoms with the last loss so now just don’t trust any of them. Having said that, has anyone experienced night sweats early in a successful pregnancy? - the last two nights I’ve woken up drenched and googling this makes me feel pretty worried.....

Good luck with all the scans.

Hi all just had my scan - dated me at between 5-6 weeks detected yolk sac and a heartbeat so that’s reassuring x scan also picked up fibroids but said nothing to worry about - going to start taking hormones in form of pessary from today because of previous mc’s so every little helps xx
My symptoms are on and off all the time so just trying not to think too much into it xx

Congrats @Maggi85. My epu seem to be useless, wont scan before 8 weeks.

I think unfortunately for all of us the panic about feelings or lack of never stops. Worse in the first trimester of course, but then I've just found it's evolved into worrying about volume and strength of movements vs the previous day. This little one likes a lie in so doesn't move until about 10am every day - cue 3 hours of worry waiting every morning.
Don't think we will all ever get to enjoy a pregnancy in the normal sense after what we have been through sadly...

So my HCG did almost double.

I have to go back on Friday for another scan, feel emotionally drained.

Progesterone 28, apparently 'it could be higher'!!!

Thank you for all your support x

@Paranormalbouquet atleast with 8 weeks you’ll be able to see more and then won’t have too long a wait until dating scan. It was so small today 2mm so only just made out a little pulse xx
Relief for that moment - then the worry starts again

@peachesarenom good news about the HCG - have everything crossed for your scan, let us know how you get in on Friday xx

Thank you Maggi85

Evening ladies. I've been plodding along a bit under the radar but wanted to pop up and say welcome to all the new people.

iamloading I am so sorry for your loss of your daughter. I cannot imagine how difficult that must have and still be. I totally agree with you that the largely what you worry about just changes as time goes on rather than the worries going. But I do feel time is at least going a little quicker now. The first trimester really did feel like eternity!

peaches good news on the HCG. Fingers crossed for Friday for you.

And great news on all the recent scans.

I am 23 weeks today. Only 1 week to get through until we reach viability. Baby has had a wriggly day today and DH thinks he felt it on the outside for the first time which has been nice.

Hey everyone. Nearly week 11 and the bloating has gone down and i don't feel quite so rubbish. Is this about right?

snore I’m 10 weeks and my nausea has disappeared although boobs are finally getting bigger and tummy still bloated. But I’m pretty sure the placenta takes over at some point so maybe that’s it. It causes me to worry though (probably unnecessarily) when symptoms change or go!!

peaches glad your levels are up and you haven’t long to wait on the scan tomorrow.

keepon hi! 23 weeks is great to get to. Well done.

I’m 10 weeks tomorrow, nothing to report except of course time is dragging. I’ve made the decision not to have a private scan before my 12 week one. I think it’ll just reassure me for a few days and I’ll be worried again. The 9 week one was good so clinging onto that until my next one on May 15th.

Hello all,

I have to steer clear of the internet as much as possible as I'm driving myself insane. However I popped on and saw @snorebrown comment re lessening symptoms so thought I'd share that I lost every single symptom on Sunday. Everything. The only thing i had left was a bloated stomach, but that could be explained by the 2 x progesterone pessaries I take daily. Anyway, I panicked so much, got myself into a complete state and rang the GP who referred me to the EPU. They scanned me this morning and all is absolutely fine. Baby is measuring 9+4, with little arm & leg buds. I feel like a fool but the nurse was lovely and told me I wasn't wasting anyone's time. I thought it might help someone who might be going through the same thing.

I don't know how to get through the anxiety, I'm going to look into counselling otherwise I think I'll have to set up camp at the EPU.

On another note, does anyone have any clue about dressing during the first trimester?? The bloating is extreme and none of my jeans fit anymore, but I would feel like a fraud buying any maternity clothing - wouldn't the bump bit just flap around until I get an actual baby bump instead of a bloat bump??!