Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

[BertieBotts]

Welcome everyone :)

I am feeling much more positive today, how is everyone else?

Welcome @Paranormalbouquet I remember u from September. (I had a loss then too). Hope to see you here for a long time now. ;)

@Snorebrown I've got my booking in on Tuesday. Totally get where u are coming from. I hope this gets easier.

@LisaSimpsonsbff it sounds like you have been thru a lot. How far are u now.

Has anyone else found this weather so hard during pregnancy? So tired and moody all the time now

Thanks everyone for the warm welcome. I’m still quite shocked given the fact that this got through contraception. DH thinks it’s meant to be; I’m sure we just had a dud condom!

Special hellos to @kirinm and @intelligentPutty from September group. How far along are you both? How has it been going?

No symptoms but trying to remind myself I’m only 5 weeks. And with my MMC in January I had all the symptoms and really high hcg but no baby at the end so hopefully it doesn’t mean anything.

How early have people had scans? My EPU is fairly useless so expect they won’t give me any extra scans. Was thinking of getting one at 6 weeks to start with.

@Paranormalbouquet I'm nearly 21weeks now. Have my scan on Monday which I'm terrified about. My pregnancy has been full of stress due to huge blood loss but I've been bleed free for about 3 weeks now which is a record.

Really hope everything goes well for you this time! This thread has been really helpful when things have been tough.

paranormal I had scans at 6+3, 8+3 and then 10+5. We were lucky and said a heartbeat at the first one, but I know a lot of people say to wait a little longer than that because you could not see one and all be fine at that stage, so it might be unnecessarily worrying.

Thanks for the concern snore and intelligent. I'm 27+4;. I still have a lot of fear around this pregnancy, and, as I said, it still feel a bit edgy/odd talking to anyone but my family or DH about it - but what I will say is that it has got so much better since first trimester. I remember someone saying to me on here (not this thread, elsewhere on Mumsnet) 'unfortunately you'll feel like this until you're holding the baby' and wanting to cry, because I thought 'I can't cope like this for 9 months!'. So I wanted to say that for me it has eased, though not disappeared - I still worry every day, but not all day every day, and time is going so, so much quicker now, which really helps. I've started buying bits of clothes etc., without too much surrounding anxiety. In general I feel like my mental health is better than it has been for a while, actually - I had a really dark, anxious summer after the third miscarriage, and I have been able to feel some of that starting to lift. But even writing that makes me feel anxious, as if I might be jinxing myself!

@kirinm have they found a cause for bleeding? Delighted you are so far along now.

@LisaSimpsonsbff I can’t bear the thought of getting to a scan and having a MMC again like last time so think I’ll get one at 6 weeks and hope for the best.

I'm saying hello after getting my bfp this morning. Am only 4+2. I had a mc November last year at 7 weeks. Lots of familiar names here - I'm hoping my joining will be permanent this time!

Welcome @SoozC. Awesome to see you on here too

Thanks, Unicorns. I can only hope it's a sticky one, I'm not sure I could go through all that again. Keeping everything crossed! I hope all's good with you.

@LisaSimpsonsbff I am glad to hear you are far along and that it's got easier. I suppose it will be hard until baby is here. I certainly don't even want to tell anyone at the moment. I'm now 10 weeks and recent scan was good. I'm hoping (beyond all ) that it'll be ok. And also feel strange even writing it down. It's like I don't want to do anything that might make it go wrong. Don't tell anyone , speak of it, or make plans.

@Paranormalbouquet I'm now 10 weeks. Mc for September baby was on 5th feb. I was so sure it was my last chance and it was thanks to a comment from someone here who just had her baby who was in a similar mind to me at one point which made me think I would have one last try (it's always the last try!)
Thankfully I became pregnant before even getting next period and so had a scan at what I thought was about 6weeks and was actually 5 weeks. (I have early scan by default due to previous ectopic). They even found a heartbeat!! I cried on the way there ready for some bad news. And it was so much better than last time when they did a scan and found sac but 'no baby'.
I had follow up scan at 7.4 weeks. And had a private one at 9.4 weeks.
I'm still so so nervous but it is getting easier.
So I'd recommend a scan. we all know that symptoms don't mean jack sometimes. And a scan is the only way to know it's actually all going ok.
I really hope that this is an easy and uneventful pregnancy for you. X

Welcome @SoozC

Welcome and congratulations, sooz. I think we've 'met' before (yam lady?!). Wishing you a really straightforward and healthy pregnancy

Hello @SoozC! I remember you! Congratulations, and lovely to see you on here. Fingers crossed this is your sticky bean. X

@Paranormalbouquet I had a scan at 6+2 at the EPU due to bleeding. They could only see a yolk sac and gestational sac at that scan, so had to go back at 8 weeks where I started throwing up in the waiting room! Thankfully all was ok. I then had a private scan at 10 + 4 just after Christmas, then the 12 week scan. I then had a private half price reassurance scan at 14 weeks after getting some awful pains, gender scan at 17+5, then 20 week scan. Going for 4D scan next Sat at 27+5. Still get 'the fear' every time!

Congratulations @SoozC ! I remember you from a miscarriage forum. I’m 6+1 today and have my first scan on Tuesday which I’m so nervous about! I’ve been getting more pregnancy symptoms which is good but still not able to relax yet. I had my first mc at 6+3 so I’ll be much happier once I’ve gone past that stage and hopefully I’ll see a heartbeat on Tuesday! 🤞🏻

Welcome @SoozC you're a yammer right? Fx this is a strong sticky one x

I'm 23 weeks on Monday and feel much less worried about something going wrong but I do feel like I've been pregnant for an eternity and it's quite an anxiety inducing state to be in (cannot get off and have a rest! I feel very responsible for this little life, physically can't exert myself the same, and the work pressure is huge).

Baby is kicking a lot every day now though which is very nice. Everything is sort of ready, pram arriving start of July and birth pool is booked. Can't get his room ready yet as we are doing work on another room in the house first. So hopefully I can do that in June. I just feel in this big limbo state, waiting for the inevitable chaos.

Thanks all, doesn’t feel real here. Haven’t filled in booking form or cancelled my surgery in 2 weeks yet. Going to give it a few more days. I’ll book a scan for early next week, I know it may not show a heartbeat but would like to see it there’s anything looking viable. My pregnancies all seem to stop at 5-6 weeks (MMC at 9 weeks showed no growth from early on, but very high hcg which was cruel as symptoms falsely reassured me).

Great to see people so far along. Gives me some hope.

@SoozC what’s your EDD all going well? I think mine is 23rd December but I know I’ll be delivered around 37weeks if I get that far at all!

@SoozC - so pleased to see you here! Massive congrats!!! x

sooz so great to see you here!
I think scan wise get one that will reassure you for the point you are at. For me, my mmc was discovered at 9 weeks baby died at 8. So there was no point for me getting one earlier as I saw a heartbeat at 7 only to be disappointed two weeks later. This time I waited to 8+4 and all was well. They even dated me at 9 weeks. So will see if my nerve holds or else will get another in 2 weeks time....

Hi guys, thanks for the welcomes and congrats. It really is nice to see so many of you on here too (well, not the 'after a loss' thing, but you know what I mean!). Yes, I'm a Yammer! I got my last bfp at the end of the first thread, then I had to re-join after my mc. I'm hoping to stay on this board now!

Hi Sooz, i remember as i followed your poats going through the same thing at the same time, too anxious to write my own. I need to thank you for that xxx
Ive woken up this morning from a nightmare where Chris Evans punched me in the face during an episode of Top Gear.
Now i have this overwhelming feeling of dread.

We have had to tell our 4yo because his behaviour at nursery has been so up and down, nursery asked us to as hes so clever he's probably half worked something is up but being silly as he's feeling insecure.
We also realised the scan is moved to Mils anniversary of her death. I feel like im really try to will fate and say we cant have bad news as its a bad day to find out then having to tell 4yo.
Ive been having twinges though on my lower right side and my symptoms are so up and down.

Scans today. Have managed to put it to the back of my mind over the weekend but now I'm petrified. I have an anomaly, a separate cardiac one and then they are also going to measure my cervix again. Really want a heartbeat today.

Will be thinking of you and hoping for the absolute best, Kirin. What time's the appointment?

I've got my consultant appointment today - fingers crossed it's completely routine and they send me straight back to midwife-led care.

Thanks Lisa. First one is at 11am and I think the cardiac is at 12pm.

Good luck today kirinm. I’m going to book a scan for next week- I know it might be too early to see anything but if it’s definitely not viable I’d prefer to know early this time. Some early waves of nausea on tube this morning but have learned from last time that symptoms mean nothing!