It's the Christmas party at Mugabe nights, pull up a bar stool and order your shots! August 2015

[FattyNinjaOwl]

New thread for all the regulars at the bar, and the not so regulars too.

Welcome elley

I was very naive about sleep before I had DD1 - DH self-employed and I really thought he could take her to work and she would just sleep quietly in her Moses basket with me going back to work and feeding her in my lunch hour - hahahaha - now on baby number 6, I have definitely learnt otherwise!! All of mine have slept through from about 10-12 months thou, so there is light at the end of the very long tunnel

I had to drag them all out in the storm last night as DH still battling too and from work via the biggest road diversion in history (Forth Bridge!) . Sitting at pool and baby sound asleep - she woke up later in the night and I went to lift her out car seat - she felt wet and i thought she was sweating as soooo hot in pool - unfortunately not - a poonamni of epic proportions - in hair, down to feet, everywhere💩💩💩. Her car seat is all pink froth and frills - covered!! Had to just sit her back down in it all and call DCs out of pool - home for urgent bath and deep clean of car seat. Got her settled to sleep (on me!) and sat down to watch The Apprentice - omg - she did it again - the poo was literally dripping off me - both in bath then bed - I will never fail to be amazed by the amount of poo that can come out of someone so small. She must have then been completely empty after all that and fed all night!!!!

+too scared to post in case I get banished from mugabe nights forever +

I'm sorry to all of u having shit nights and are really struggling. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better for u.

I've been having some get ups all this week but haven't fed her, just gave her dummy or brought her into bed and she'd fall asleep again so I guess that meant she wasn't hungry. I'm sure she'd have carried on crying despite the dummy if she been.

But last night we've done 10-8 and she's still asleep. I want to get up and have a shower but what's the betting she wakes up as soon as I get in the shower?

I'm dreading the 3rd lot of jabs next Tues after all your experiences. Only good thing is dp is off work next Tues so I said he can be the mean one for once and hold her for the injections as he's never done it yet. I've got such a busy week though I don't want her to be unwell and grumpy. This week would have been better.

I watched you all drinking and dancing in a drunken stupor from a dark corner. DS was up.at 2.20 and then wouldn't sleep anywhere but on me and screamed like I was torturing him.if I tried to lie him down or put my boob away. Giraffes do you have any tips as the small of my back is killing me this morning and I know yours loves a night on you?

I have comedy autocorrect too but the opposite way. My phone changed tinsel to Tindel the other day!

Mzzf, swear as much as you like. Your ranty posts are very funny. You have a lovely way with words .

Fanby, I would text her every time you are woken just to poss her off.

Enjoy the day ladies. Maybe Father Christmas will bring us all sleep??

Glad I x - posted with Dozy!

Loves! Wow that's amazing amounts of poo. Hope you get a wet day only today.

Morning all! I made it to the bar last night, but I must have been very drunk as my post has disappeared! We did have a much better night, only a couple of feeds and a few grumbles in between.

Lots of empathy to those who had shitty nights. High five to piper for being good dozy - I like hearing positive stories.

Swearing is very necessary under the circumstances.

My autocorrect wants to make fanby fanny!

Sorry for not answering properly - I'm worried this post will get swallowed up as well!

Waking at 1am then 5am?? I would class that as a happy and successful night. My god Fanby you did well not to slap her. I mentioned to my nct that I thought aidan was having sleep regression and was met with a chorus of 'oh it's going to be so hard to do night feds again'. Again???? Again?? DS never got the memo that they were to have already stopped.

So pleased am not the only fool that thought mat leave would be full of new hobbies and skills. I pinned on Pinterest all this crafty stuff I was going to do for Christmas. Clearly at some point fancied myself as a bit of a Kirsty allsopp type. Needless to say done nothing and ordered everything off amazon.

Ok v nervous about jabs now. Ours are on Friday. Will be armed with calpol.

Loves laughing a lot of the poomania. We always know a poo here is bad when the best option is running a bath.

Lily your night sounds exactly like our night the night before. I found a Gregg's ham and cheese toasty took the edge off.

Dozy I am insanely jealous of your sleep. However after all you've been through with feeding lately I think you deserve it! High five!!

I was up until 5 then got 2 hours sleep. DP has taken DS1 to school but I will have to pick him up later. I'm not well at all, full of a cold. I need to phone the doctors and cancel DS2s jabs, DD is still clingy so I'm stuck with them both clinging off me like little chimps!
My phone knows everyone's names and tries to turn fanny to fanby. And tinsel to tindel.

Oh and mzzzf don't mind the swearing. You would fit right in over on the sweary threads.

Fatty my phone tries to turn you to farty!

kbro I've been called farty a few times I really am today. God it stinks!

Hehe nolonger yes baby giraffe does like a night on me I don't normally stand up at all, if she doesn't fall asleep feeding I lay her with her head near my left shoulder and her legs dangling near my right hip, or sometimes she prefers her head on the crook of my arm, always facing in so that the mucus doesn't go into her throat. I jiggle slightly from the hips upwards and make a 'shhhhh' like white noise sound and she tends to go to sleep quite quickly, I'm usually propped at about a 45 degree angle I love the crazy science behind this as I'm sure baby giraffe doesn't care, she's probably so fed up of me that she sleeps good luck!

We were at Mugabe's but too bleary eyed to post. Last night grumpy 2 went down at 7:30pm but then was up at 10:30pm (WTF!?!?), 2am, 4am and 5:30am (which basically is it for the night as DH and I have to be up at 6:30am anyway. And each time she took ages to settle as she was drowning in snot.

Feeling quite broken now after a week or so of this. Fucking, fuckity cold. Bastard mucus.

Fanby, you made me burst out laughing at your drinking the over spillage!!! LOL

Amen on wanting to punch smug moms. In my fitness class, there's another mom/baby around DD's age. She told me he's still sleeping through the nights then added "and I just find the pounds are dropping off me, don't you?"

Last night, things got so much worse. On top of DD waking every hour and a half, the boiler broke so the house is freezing. Then dog started puking and kept going off to be alone which worried me. Then i got an eye infection. Yesterday DD only would sleep on me so I started the day with 3 hours sleep and no nap. When DH got home I had a beer!

Went to a friends this morning for a little cry. Her ceiling has come down in all the rain so I guess we're all dealing with something aren't we??

I straight up could not handle things getting worse, so I think you have all convinced me to put off jabs until after Xmas! My sister arrives from Canada on Monday and I really want to enjoy her rare time over here so I might just be a bad mum and put off the vaccs!!

Alright, chin up, shoulders back... Let's get through today.

Had second jabs today and DS just woke crying. Had to give calpol and now he's sleeping on me mouth on boob. Supposed to be going to works Xmas do tonight. Do you think he'll be ok? Was just going for the meal really, so probably out from 7 to 10.30/11.

In other news, he did one four hour stretch last night, then woke every hour. Comforted that he is in good company with the other Mugabe babies!

Laughing at all of the autocorrects - glad I'm making my mark!

Am absolutely knackered - decided to take J into London for a mini-tour of DH's office and my work. I decided to just take the sling rather than the pram, so am absolutely exhausted - had forgotten how heavy he's got recently.

DH is out tonight at his office Xmas party, so hoping the busy day will have tired J out - it took the best part of 3 hours to get him to sleep last night

Lol at the autocorrects. When i try to write 'do' and it changes it to 'dp' . I obv talk about my dp way too much.

He has decided to go on his lads kitesurfing holiday to Cape Verde even though I didn't want him to so I was a bit upset yesterday. I don't know know whether I'm being selfish for not letting him go or if he's being selfish for wanting to go.

Loves that is a lot of poop! Clothes is manageable but car seat is a nightmare. Hope it's not stained the lovely pink material. That's one reason my friend recommended a black car seat even though I wanted a coloured one as she had experience in stains on car seats lol.

3 hours to get him sleep tindel. That's a long time! I get fed up 5 minutes of trying! That's why I tend to have her downstairs till we go to bed unless she's looking sleepy as I know she'll go down then but any earlier and she'll just cry.

I get a sore lower back to from feeding with her on top of me at a 45 degree angle. It's annoying but its because get a lot pressure concentrated on that area. Don't know how to stop it getting sore though sorry

Such a lazy day!! Haven't left the house. Have accomplished all my tv catch ups and painted my finger nails for the first time since Molly's been born, that's my interview prep done lol

Lily - I don't like JD either how's little'un doing today?

Oh giraffes! Poor coldy baby!! Any better today??

Loveandsmiles - that is some SEVERE pooing!!!!!!

Slowwife - we had the 10:30pm wake up too last night????! I was not impressed...but then it was a warning for the rest of the night I guess!

Oh grok - you deserve more than one beer with that!!!!! Don't blame you for putting the vacs off, think I'd do the same tbh. Fortunately we don't have much on after so I'm going for the getting them over and done with. The lady in your exercise deserves a weight smashed over her head

DoZy - when is he going away????

Well phoned doc this morning to re-arrange DS2s jabs, they were not happy. "Well its going to be well after Christmas now"
I asked if they wanted me to bring an already unwell baby, who may be contagious, down to get an injection that will end up making him worse while I've got another with a chest infection.
No they didn't.

And people wonder why doctors receptionists have such a bad reputation

My pet hate is the calibre of 'lady' (and I use that term loosely!) who mans the telephones and receptions of GPs across the land. They have no right to ask why you want to see the doc, to try to triage you etc etc. if I get a particularly arsey one I do always ask where they completed their medical degree.
I reckon it's part of the job description of working there - "must be a total knobby know it all, who hates sick people and likes to talk down to the general public" Oh and I'm sure it an advantage to be able to huff and tut willy nilly 😕

DD seemed to be improving in her post jabs mood but then just had an almighty screamathon and she's now conked out on me!

Dozy - when is he off and for how long? I'm not sure how I'd feel about DH going off on a jolly but that's because I really rely on his help at the mo as I'm knackered!

He's asleep! On his own in bed! Thank fuck! He's been in a grumpy mood all afternoon. Red cheeks, drooling and frantic fist chewing are back. No sign of any teeth, but they are definetly giving him a hard time.

I hope you're all ok. Will reply properly in a minute. For now I'm going to put my phone down and try to watch an uninterrupted eastenders episode with dh.

I temped as a doctors receptionist once when I was younger, I was lovely! it was a surgery for homeless people and asylum seekers, certainly was interesting!!! Plus I never asked why people wanted to see the doc haha! Just wanted them in and out as quick as poss as it was heaving!!!

She's asleep, awaiting stealth like transfer into cot and just praying for a better night esssssshkkk!

Glad mini mZzf has cooled down and hope you're enjoying Enders frolic xxx